self bondage time safe.
Sex is off the menu.
In evolutionary psychology terms, what's in it for her?
Soft chastity makes sense, hard chastity is hard to explain
"Soft" male chastity and denial, in which you earn sex, makes perfect evolutionary sense; she's asserting status by testing, you're proving himself worthy.
However, "Hard" male chastity and denial, in which you do not get sex (or even get to come), seems odd because it doesn't lead to the theoretical possibility of reproduction.
How could natural selection give us traits that steer us away from sex?
It actually makes better sense from her point of view than from his...
Hard chastity and denial from her perspective
Obviously, if her ability to test implies her status, then an impossible test implies infinite status. Hard chastity puts her on a pedestal.
However, I think something darker is also going on.
"Bait and Switch" - benefiting through the false promise of sex - seems to be a hardwired in human females (and in other species). Ancestral women evolved the strategy of accepting the benefits of courtship but avoiding the sex, since it could lead to being pregnant by the wrong male. The instinct is still with us, so perhaps some women get a satisfaction in knowing they've already won the exchange.
This leads to the awkward question; why is the husband or boyfriend the wrong male?
Why the husband or boyfriend is the wrong maleI think three things are going on here:
Any male would be the wrong oneIn ancestral times, there would be many periods in which it would be bad to be pregnant. No wonder then, that modern women's sex drive fluctuates wildly depending on stress, number and age of children, health, living circumstances, colour of the wallpaper...
Intimacy works against the perception of high statusOh sure, you impressed the hell out of her during courtship, but intimacy works against the illusion of you being an Alpha Caveman. She knows all the problems you have at work, all your fears and worries, she's nursed you when you're ill. You've probably cried on her at least once.
This is what a good marriage is about. However, you're just not her He-Man anymore.
Humans aren't adapted for sexual monogamyThe further you get into a marriage, the more flaky the passion - the animal-level desire becomes. It doesn't mean you don't fancy each other or have fun in bed, but the spark comes and goes and requires nurturing.
How hard chastity gets around the wrong male problemSo, sex is off the menu, but you're still her devoted lover. We've already seen that you've put her on a flattering pedestal and that she may gain satisfaction from knowing she's winning this exchange.
If you are the "wrong male" at the moment, if her instincts don't drive her to have sex with you, then the same instincts may nudge her away from intimate activities that risk sex.
However, putting your penis out of the way changes everything.
For example, she can enjoy a long massage without the prospect of you wanting to mount her oiled but relaxed body and fill her up with semen!
Better still, your giving her an orgasm no longer has anything to do with sex; it's just another form of pampering.
Thus, if she's not in the mood for penetrative sex, your chastity belt can work evolutionary psychological magic to make you a desirable erotic partner.
As for you? Instead of struggling to fan the spark of monogamous desire, you are opting to use the chastity belt to infiltrate her masturbation space. I'm not sure why, but I find that an immense turn on - and I bet you do too.
For how to get some of this in your relationship, see my No Fuss Femdom How-To Guides.