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Tuesday, 7 June 2016

When should I feel OK to wear my male chastity device? (The Ethics of 24/7 Wear Part 2)

...wearing a male chastity
device outside the home
What people don't - ever - know usually doesn't hurt them, so as long as you stick to the Iron Rules of 24/7 chastity (broadly don't get caught in, or distracted or limited by your device), you are not doing irreversible wrong.

However, if that was all there was to it, then things like non-consensual voyeurism would be fine (which it obviously isn't) as long as you weren't caught!

It's certainly possible to wear your chastity device in ways and places that make you feel guilty, even if it seemed like a good idea at the time. You may also later feel awkward explaining your actions to a partner, or your partner may feel awkward about exploring your chastity fetish.

So how do we make moral sense of wearing a male chastity device outside the home and in social and professional situations?

...going out without underwear
We can start by thinking about the range of stealth erotic things women do: for example going out without underwear, wearing sexy panties, having a secret tattoo or piercing, or walking around with Chinese balls inserted.

Which would be OK in the street? At work? At a family party? At a funeral?

At one extreme we have Chinese balls. They are OK in the street, but not at work unless it was really boring and you had reason to hate everybody. They'd be wrong to take to a family party, and creepy at a funeral.

Because Chinese balls are a sex toy designed to get you off, using them automatically exploits or objectifies the people around you. This feels fine in purely public spaces - where people expect to be lusted over by strangers anyway - but wrong as you cross from the public space into more personal and private ones.

Chinese Balls
At the other extreme we have intimate piercings. There's no situation in which they are wrong to wear because though they may be about sex, they are not actually sexually stimulating unless we think about them. They're just part of who we are, perhaps part of our armour against the world, or a secret expression of our full identity.

Everything else lies on that Sex Toy-Piercing spectrum.

Going commando, is sexual but not as sexual as a sex toy, so OK at work, wrong at a family party, weird at a funeral. Wearing sexy underwear is mostly like a piercing, but a bit like using a sex toy (because of the thrill), so wrong at a funeral but OK otherwise...
Sometimes they're sex toys, sometimes
 they're like piercings
Probably.

And so on.

Now back to our male chastity devices. Sometimes they're sex toys, sometimes they're like piercings - valued for their presence rather than their stimulating effects. To complicate things, we often have the option to remove them.

For these reasons, it's easiest to look at behaviour rather than motivation. When we do that, it gives us two Golden Rules for Public Chastity:

Golden Rule #1: Give yourself more leeway the longer your lock up

The longer you've continuously worn your device, the closer it is to being a like piercing; about identity and perhaps comfort.
If it would be wrong for a
woman to masturbate...

So if you are going out with friends, don't put it on specially! And if you're wearing randomly, you should probably remove it. However if you're locked up for days or weeks, then wearing it to the pub or to a dinner party is fine.

(And, if you've been locked up for truly epic periods of time, then you probably also have a pass for funerals - you'll might even feel more comfortable wearing it, though for god's sake don't get caught!)

Golden Rule #2: Don't treat your device as a sex toy in inappropriate situations

Even if wearing 24/7 is business as usual, if at a private dinner party, it's wrong to run off to your host's restroom and take a chastity selfie! 

The line isn't hard and fast between appropriate and inappropriate, but if it would be wrong for a woman to masturbate, then it's also wrong or in poor taste to get hard and drippy in your device, or take selfies or take risks for kicks.

The Golden Rules are about what kind of person you want to be, rather than what harm you do. However, if you follow them, it will also be easier to justify wearing and reduce the harm if caught out.

(So what about that surgeon? Assuming the stories are true, then he broke my two Iron Rules: by being careless, he freaked out his colleagues and upset his patients; and by (allegedly) getting turned on  by secretly wearing, he (may have) distracted himself from very serious tasks. That strikes me as pretty selfish.

He also seems to have broken my two Golden Rules. He'd have to be a very long-term wearer before it would be OK to go into the operating theatre chaste! And he seems to have got sexual kicks out of wearing it to work.)


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