tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post8728607966288926389..comments2024-01-22T20:11:57.757+00:00Comments on How do I get my wife to dominate me?: Is Angry Femdom a Feminist Issue?Giles Englishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06078027627281038866noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-82974510641898313872016-08-16T08:55:38.089+01:002016-08-16T08:55:38.089+01:00I think we differ on where our BDSM rituals sit on...I think we differ on where our BDSM rituals sit on the pleasure-punishment scale.Giles Englishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06078027627281038866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-81012791776158101342016-08-16T08:54:18.198+01:002016-08-16T08:54:18.198+01:00I think I'd call that a kind of sadism. There ...I think I'd call that a kind of sadism. There are lots of flavours after all.<br /><br />But yes, possibly I've oversimplified. I have, however, kicked off an interesting discussion.<br /><br />Giles Englishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06078027627281038866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-68633034594618462812016-08-16T05:27:22.972+01:002016-08-16T05:27:22.972+01:00Generally when I think of anger, I don't tend ...Generally when I think of anger, I don't tend to see it in what is designated to be a pleasurable BDSM ritual. <br /><br />I generally see anger as being reactionary and potentially dangerous. <br /><br />You may have found a system that works for the two of you with it but it is not something I would ever advise. <br /><br />I do expect aggression, but not anger. fur sissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06773975470940525031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-77681729943649828612016-08-16T03:27:26.581+01:002016-08-16T03:27:26.581+01:00"...there are only three authentic dominant m...<i>"...there are only three authentic dominant motivations for hurting a submissive"</i> <br /><br />Yeeaeaaaahhh, nope <i>*laugh*</i>. <br /><br />I mostly do it because it's how I express passion, like my lust for him is too big for all normal expressions and now I have to punch him to physically get my desire for him out of my body.<br /><br />Arguably that falls under 'sadism', but 'pleasure from hurting' is not how it feels to me. It's not about hurting him, it's about his body being in the way of accessing his insides, which are mine and I want them.<br /><br />And sometimes I do it as a path to vulnerability, to see what's underneath the mask. <br /><br />I think you've reduced the complexity and the reality out of it with your definitive 'only three authentic dominant motivations'.<br /><br />FernsFernshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08120135882551792775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-30314712619136135102016-08-15T21:54:57.008+01:002016-08-15T21:54:57.008+01:00Wow. Yes. You certainly need safeguards. And there...Wow. Yes. You certainly need safeguards. And there's definitely an element of careful who you trust. <br /><br />Do you see a difference between "spontaneous attack outside a bdsm moment", and anger during BDSM ritual?Giles Englishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06078027627281038866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-4620923110846772592016-08-15T21:41:29.926+01:002016-08-15T21:41:29.926+01:00Spot on.Spot on.Her Subjecthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18131381586575702082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-69001722843135832752016-08-15T20:01:42.153+01:002016-08-15T20:01:42.153+01:00I agree, Giles. Depending upon the person anger c...I agree, Giles. Depending upon the person anger can become berserk a little too easily. Occasionally this can happen with a bad day at work or some traffic... in other cases a repeat offense, etc. The problem becomes if there are no safeguards in place. If she hits the point of berserk anything that isn't off limits may be perceived as on. <br /><br />I knew a sub that was bound tightly with his hands behind his back and blindfolded and then she left. While she was cooling off she got a call about a family emergency and left town for 5 days and completely forgot about him. He barely survived off water from the tap and was left with permanent scars from the rope and nerve damage (in addition to some skin damage from not being able to clean himself after pooping).<br /><br />If you do digging you'll find much worse cases of subs being beaten to the point of internal bleeding, etc.<br /><br />The problem with berserk is that the person that is berserk often doesn't know that they are and their ideas and jusgement are often outside the realm of common sense.<br /><br />When you submit in a lifestyle situation you are putting a lot of trust in the other to take responsibility for your well being. Wanting to hurt you as a corrective messure is very different from poor judgement in the heat of the moment. <br /><br />Having been forgotten about twice while restrained in potentially harmful positions due to berserk I tend to favor caution. fur sissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06773975470940525031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-72421761114658154632016-08-15T19:00:04.337+01:002016-08-15T19:00:04.337+01:00I think angry is different from berserk! I also th...I think angry is different from berserk! I also think that you shouldn't do angry punishment with anything likely to cause real harm.<br /><br />Even so, there's an element of extreme sport about what we do. There are risks.Giles Englishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06078027627281038866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-50194650918582715542016-08-15T18:57:35.368+01:002016-08-15T18:57:35.368+01:00I think people lose sight of the distinction betwe...I think people lose sight of the distinction between BDSM scenes and D/s *relationships*.Giles Englishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06078027627281038866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-79063386886666347352016-08-15T18:47:07.701+01:002016-08-15T18:47:07.701+01:00Interesting debate here, Giles. Whenever BDSM pro...Interesting debate here, Giles. Whenever BDSM protocols come into play there is often kind of a weird vibe when it comes to this topic and the accompanying topic of "is it possible to punish a masochist with ______?"<br /><br />Most of the advice given on this subject is rooted in cautionary tales. If you have ever known (of) a sub that was seriously injured/maimed due to heat of the moment knee-jerk reactionary behavior on the part of a Dominant it is much easier to accept certain idealiatic rules. These rules protect not only the sub from serious potential harm but also the guilt a Dominant might feel later if they were to inflict said harm. <br /><br />In regards to my own experiences, the happy medium between "heat of the moment anger" and "controlled discipline" was a time-out period for the sub and the corporal punishment was delivered after the initial anger subsided.<br /><br />Having been with Dommes that were able to keep a cool head as well as with those who were prone to act in anger, I am strongly in favor of someone that can exert emotional control. I am not a masochist and do not enjoy being hit, so it has never felt like she was a service top when I was being disciplined. fur sissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06773975470940525031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1926558375998557812.post-76284238126209070952016-08-15T18:01:50.373+01:002016-08-15T18:01:50.373+01:00This is one of the most interesting things you'...This is one of the most interesting things you've ever posted. Definitely need some time to sort out where I am on all the ideas in here, but this part --<br /><br />"It's not just the thrill of genuine fear, it's also the reassurance that our D/s relationship won't just fall apart when things go wrong between us."<br /><br />-- is something I absolutely relate to. That particular kind of reassurance usually gets short shrift in these discussions.Declan Heysehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14042259309136047859noreply@blogger.com