Become Her Slave!

My once-vanilla wife now loves keeping me as her chaste slave. Learn how to get some Femdom in your life too!

Friday, 10 November 2017

21 Days Locked in the new and very sinister Custom Chastity Saint

The sinister "Saint"
male chastity
I'm on Day 21 of lockup in the sinister Saint device that Custom Chastity sent me to review.

I've had one, one hour break near the start so I could do wearing/not wearing photos. Otherwise it's stayed on continuously, including for showers and running.

And, it looks like I'm stuck until this time next week, at least. Here's why:

Rewind to roughly a week ago...

"I'm really angry," blazes my wife Xena.  "Ten days angry."

She is angry. I managed to scrape our car. This is a genuine punishment.

"What?" I blurt. Ten days means two more weeks, on top of the first two she settled on to review this new device.

This gets me hard but not erect - the device makes its presence felt.  At the same time it really feels like too much time without an orgasm.

"Locked," she says firmly.

 "Yes mistress."

The locked part is new.

A few days previously, when I was making my nightly report I said, "No problems with the new device. It's so wearable it's sinister."
Me being locked makes Xena more casually dominant.

"How do you mean, sinister?" asked Xena.

"It's been a week and a half and it feels like I only just put it on," I said. "With other devices there was always a sense that it would have to be removed sooner or later because of chafing or skin problems. There was a natural limit. This one feels as of there'll never be a practical reason for removing it. Having limits is like standing on a cliff edge. That makes it sinister."

Xena just gives me the thumbs up.

I think it was Thumper who said something like "A 100 dollar piece of crap won't transform your relationship".

He was right of course. However, my experience is that, like other BDSM toys and tools, it will certainly amplify things that are already there.

In our case, Xena has always liked to control the sex in general and my sexuality in particular. The further into chastity we've gone, the more she wants that control, in part, I think, because it also intensifies our dynamic.

However, she's always worried about practical consequences - injury, getting caught, or me limiting my activities to accommodate our shared fetish.

She's also not interested in any kind of fuss around me. For example, she likes having me constrained, but isn't interested in doing the tying up. So, naturally for her, she finds it pleasing to sentence me to periods of chastity, but doesn't want to be any kind of keyholder, fielding requests for unlocking and taking responsibility again and again.

Nothing changed.
Everything changed.
It now appears that it was only the fear of consequences and dislike of fuss that put the brakes on Xena's tendency to keep me locked.

This new, sinister, male chastity device seem to have taken off those brakes. And, me being locked makes Xena more casually dominant, which creates a feedback loop.

So what can I say about the device itself?

It's so very sinister that there isn't much.

Yes, I'm aware of it from time to time, but it feels more like a matter-of-fact well-designed surgical appliance than a bondage toy.

Though I could pull out the back, I wouldn't want to cum that way. I know from previous experience that I'd end up stretching and chafing the skin of my dick such that I'd need a break from the device, which Xena would know about. Though I could cum without pulling out, I also know that the snug fit would make it literally a bruising experience that would probably have me up and down at night peeing, which Xena would notice. So though I am not minded to cheat, I am also aware that it would be a bad idea.

The round, narrow, base ring means I can close my legs and sleep on my side at night. Compared to a grippy collar ring, it's slightly more likely to slip if I overdo the lotion. However, the narrowness ensures everything lies naturally, meaning no issues of comfort or concealment.

The open cage with paper clip end means I'm so well ventilated I even managed to drip dry one night without a hair dryer. There's never any itching, and it's easy to inspect the skin to check everything is OK.

Compared to a tube design, the penis is much more exposed to stimulation. However, that accessibility means that it's easy to realign the head on those rare occasions when it has turtled or squirmed out of position. When I unzip to pee, I'm already properly aligned nine times out of ten.

The two downsides are (i) that the shape of the paperclip head is visible through thin underpants, if you look for it, and (ii) the paperclip can catch on the waistband of underpants if you remove them with too much gusto.

Feels pretty sinister to me.
I've previously managed 23 days in a Custom Chastity device, and though I think I could have gone on indefinitely, you'll see from that blog entry that it was something of an adventure, an experience to be managed. And, looking back, all that management was fatiguing such that it was a relief to unlock at the end, even though I didn't want to.

My experience of the Custom Chastity Saint is quite different. Basically I put it on and wore it. I did sport, work meetings, the pub... all with total confidence.

Nothing changed. Everything changed.

Which feels pretty sinister to me.

(Custom Chastity haven't yet added the "Saint" to their regular shop. However, I'm sure it's coming soon, unlike me. If you want one sooner than that, it's worth emailing them.)

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
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Tuesday, 7 November 2017

How to choose a male chastity device 2: Ball Gripping Chastity Devices

The classic ball-gripping CB2000,
 the first modern chastity device.
There's a reason why the standard format male chastity device is the ball-gripper. They're much more forgiving than the full belt (see first article), and far more practical. A good one, like the device I'm locked into right now, lies naturally and even lets you close your legs.


Male chastity devices generally comprise:

  • A base ring that goes around your genitals.
  • Cage or tube that constrains your dick. It works with the base ring to trap your balls.
  • Some kind of locking mechanism, typically a padlock or cable tie, but increasingly a "magic locker".

Security: A Non-Issue

KHD and Holy Trainer 2 devices:
Tubes, magic locker locking mechanisms
and base rings. 
The obvious issue is security. Without a piercing, you can in pull out the back and get off.

This doesn't negate the device's anti-infidelity properties - imagine trying to explain the cage to a pickup! And you certainly couldn't have sex with it hanging from your balls.  However, most male chastity fans are more focused on preventing masturbation.

This kind of security looms large in the minds of chastity novices - it's what put me off from buying a CB2000 all those years ago. However it's usually a non-issue in a relationship. Here's why:

  • In some mammals the male erection is an expression of dominance. Even if that doesn't apply to humans, having our erection controlled is a very intimate "violation" of self. Thus wearing a chastity device can make us too submissive to simply pull out.
  • Submissives like us find it impossible to lie to our dominants. 
  • Masturbating while wearing the device can chafe, stretch the skin and cause other highly visible problems, some potentially requiring removal of the device.
  • After days or weeks of enjoying plateau sensations, solo masturbation can be climatic and depressing anyway. Doing so with the knowledge that you had erased your submission would be pretty grim.
  • Self esteem.

Self-chastity outside of a relationship is more complex, but similar factors seem to come into play.

So though not technically secure, for most practical purposes a ball-gripper is an effective anti-masturbation device.

A Note on Variations on the Ball Gripping Chastity Device

There are variations on the standard format.

Oxballs stretch to fit device
The Oxballs Cocklock merges all three into a single stretch-to-fit device.

I'm pretty sure this is the start of the mainstreaming of our fetish. However - given the lack of ventilation - it's not really intended for wearing long-term.

Silicone device with
security strap.
Various silicone devices purport to be OK for long-term wear and use a security strap.

I'm not convinced by these, but haven't tried them. I won't be talking about these directly, though some of my remarks may help.

Finally you have tube only devices relying on piercings. The utterly coolest is the permanent(!) titanium chastity device produced by this craftsman.

These obviously work, but I actually "like" not being able to get erect, so again I won't be discussing these directly.

Next Time

Next time I'll talk about the choice of base ring, and how to specify the right "gap".

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Sunday, 29 October 2017

How to choose a male chastity device 1: Ball Gripping Chastity Device or Full Chastity Belt?

I'm on my eighth male chastity device, and perhaps my twelfth combination of base rings and cages. And that's not counting early DIY efforts. I've also worn mostly 24/7 for several years. So here's my take on choosing a male chastity device.

Full chastity belts are the stuff of fantasy!
Full chastity belts are the stuff of fantasy. Inescapable and secure without a piercing! Totally suppression of erections! Visually neutering (if that's what you like)!

Better yet, the good ones look really photogenic as long as you have the body for it. Go look how cool Ruffled Sheets looks in his chastity belt.

What's not to want?

My debut novel featured a full belt, as did my DIY chastity devices, but I haven't looked into getting a proper one.

Here's why not.

Full chastity belts that don't fit perfectly quickly unwearable. There's so much that can go wrong!

Totally suppression of erections!
The tube opening must marry up to the penis, or cause chafing or worse. The girdle has to hug the hips or waist or else cause more chafing.

Finally there are the rear plumbing arrangements! Pick one from: security and sore buttocks (from chains); security and gross toilet experiences due to a metal G-string; or possible security trusting in the girdle being stiff enough to keep the cage in place.

Essentially, you are ordering an exoskeleton over the Internet, based on measurements alone!

This means either going for a (comparatively) expensive one from Behind Barz, or else a Chinese from Amazon or DHGate and having the tools and expertise to modify it yourself.

Even if they do fit right, I'm not convinced that full belts are truly practical for open-ended 24/7 wear.

A rigid girdle can't be good for the back, and I couldn't do yoga while wearing one. A solid groin bump also seems a bit too discoverable. I can't imagine wearing it onto a client sight, and certainly not through any kind of security.

Sure, if I had the money, I would order one up. But I wouldn't expect to wear it for more than a couple of days at a time. It would be for BDSM rather than chastity lifestyle.

So my advice on full male chastity belts is: consider carefully whether this fits your actual needs, and do extensive research before gambling time and money on getting one.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

The Custom Chastity Saint - 5 days in

Just a quick follow up on the review I posted of the Custom Chastity "Saint".

I put the device on on Saturday, took it off briefly for a due diligence check on Tuesday, and so I could do wearing/not wearing photos.

So far there have been no problems. I think I wake up "stuck in the barrel" more often than I did in the double-ring device, but the open design makes it easy to poke myself back into place.

I've been jogging twice, and there was less sweat build up than with the Ghost. The cage format makes hygiene no problem. With other devices, I usually get a build up of dead skin after a couple of days. This isn't a show stopper, but it does mean a bit of careful messing around with a Q-tip. There's no sign of this with the Saint.

So there's still no practical reason for removing the thing...

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Best long-term cage ever? Reviewing the Custom Chastity Saint (with pictures)

Custom Chastity Saint
"How long do you think I should wear it?" I ask.

I'm kneeling at the foot of the bed, massaging Xena's legs and feet, and "enjoying" the constricted feeling of trying to get hard inside my new Saint cage, which Lady Fox of Custom Chastity sent me to review.

"How long did you do last time you did a review?" she asks.

"A couple of weeks," I say.

"Oh well then," says my wife. "Do two to three weeks."

An electric pulse seems to run through my cage. "What about my orgasm?" I say. "I'm due one in a couple of days.
It really is a cage

"Tough," she says.

And now, of course, I really am horny but can't do anything about it.

I'm not, however, worried about open-ended lockup in the new Saint cage. It feels like the most practical device I've owned.

I know!

Each new chastity device has felt like a major improvement on the last: home made full belt to Chinese cage, to Holy Trainer 2, to a range of Custom Chastity devices.

And, every time I get a new Custom Chastity device to review, it's the Holy Grail, until the next one surpasses it.
Sales pitch: designed for maximum teasing.
(I think this version has  slider for a piercing.) 

And this one really does surpass everything I've worn, with a couple of caveats because it really is a cage, and a minimalist one at that.

As you can see from their sales pitch on social media, it's really designed for maximum teasing potential rather than security. There's a lot of exposed flesh! (For pics, see below the cut).

I'm not sure I'd want to have an orgasm while wearing it though!

When I experimented with pulling out with a previous model, getting hard and jerking off stretched the skin and caused very nasty chafing. I also know what getting off while actually locked hurts and is likely to leave my cock puffy and bruised, and irritate my urethra enough to have me peeing more frequently for a day or so.

All the more reason for the wearer to resist teasing, if that's what's on the menu. It's also a sort of security - a well-fitted device makes your dick "cheating evident" which is as good as it gets without a piercing.

Teasing is certainly not on Xena's menu. In fact I think from her point of view, the new device shows off rather too much dick. However, the compensation is the practicality.

Not wearing
For a start, it really is a cage, rather than a tube with vents.  That means sweat vents easily, dead skin doesn't accumalate, and it's really easy to wash and dry; there appear to be no dead zones.

The startlingly minimalist head section, almost like a big bent paperclip, makes it really easy to adjust the position of your dick (though it's not so gappy that I could squeeze my head out).

I find I'm mostly lined up to pee when I down-zip, but if I'm not, then it's easy to align properly. Similarly, if I'm stuck in the barrel due to night turtling, it's a simple matter to poke a finger in and retrieve the errant member. Oh, and of course, there's nowhere for pee to collect.

(I suspect that the easy access would benefit an "uncut" wearer, i.e. one with an intact foreskin, making it simple to retract and clean and so on.)

Finally, it's even lighter than the other Custom Chastity devices I've worn. I found that my first surgical nylon device weighed less than its padlocks. This one, having even less fabric, weighs even less. I am barely aware it's there.

Then we come to the specific options I picked, namely a single thickness base ring and magic locker (which I expect will be standard with this model), and the material.

You'll see from the profile picture above that the pubic bulge is about the same whether or not I'm wearing!

The funny thing about being straight male chastity fetishist is that you have no idea of what a male groin should look like. As you can see from my pictures, there is always a pronounced bulge as seen from the side. This chastity device lies naturally enough to not make it significantly more pronounced.

The low profile is partly down to the magic locker, but also because of the single-thickness ring. There's a pay-off here between grip on the one hand, and hygiene and low profile. I think the single ring is more likely to shift than the double, but it's easier to clean and less obtrusive.

The material, as always, is surgical nylon with an eggshell finish. I've never had a problem with it, and find the texture makes it less sticky when my head presses against it. It's also pretty much indestructible unless somebody takes a cutter to it. This is about what you'd want for 24/7 wear... just in case you end up in an ambulance.

What does it look like on? Pictures below the cut, and - in case you came here direct - below the line.

Monday, 9 October 2017

Whipped while tethered by the chastity device! (testing the Custom Chastity Ghost with attachment point)

Custom Chastity Ghost with
attachment point.

Sunday night. I'm massaging Xena's back while getting hard in my chastity device and feeling nervous about what's to come.

I'm locked into a slightly updated Custom Chastity custom Ghost. Lady Fox sent me a new ring with a 7mm gap and an attachment point.

It's been a busy weekend. Xena sighs. "I suppose we'd better get through some of your demerits, slave."

She's only recently started calling me that when she wants total control. Just hearing it makes my cock twitch in its cage. It doesn't help that I haven't come for nearly two weeks.

Strap (gift from Fred Norman!)
plus spring hook.
I strip off, bring out the whip box, and then - for the first time - clip a strap to the attachment point on the underside of my base ring. The strap goes over the bedpost. I get onto my hands and knees and pull it tight.

Suddenly I'm helplessly kneeling, backed up against the bed post, effectively immobilised and awaiting my wife's pleasure.

The system is as smooth as I imagined. No bulky equipment to bring out of hiding, no straps to fiddle with. The whole procedure takes less than a minute and requires zero input from Xena.

Our whip box. (Velcro spreader/stocks to left)
That's why I asked for the attachment point. Xena loves whipping me, but is irritated by having to mess around with velcro or buckles. In an ideal world, she'd stride into a dedicated dungeon room to find me already spread out on a St Andrew's cross. I suspect it's to do with feeling in control.

I had worried that the little loop would have got in the way, or snagged on my scrotum. However, it made no difference to the wearability.

"I'm helpless, mistress," I announce.

"Good," she says. And she reads her book for what must be quarter of an hour while I kneel there naked, a little uncomfortable, and nervous.

Finally, I hear her swing out of bed, pad over to the whip box. There's a swish and unbelievable pain blossoms over my back.

I yelp.

"Slave!" she admonishes.

"Sorry mistress."

The next blow is just as painful, but I manage to reduce my reaction to just a gasp. By the fifth blow, I'm whimpering.
A very submissive posture!

Looking back, the ergonomics were perfect for her. The spreader/stockade we have puts me too low on the ground, makes me too hard a target. Often the whips hit with just the tip, or land spent or in odd places.

The other alternative - me chained across the foot of the bed - works better. However, it's slow to set up and means I'm taking up bed space.

That's the other thing. Chained by the balls on your hands and knees - that's a very submissive position! In the right circumstances submission brings out the worst in us.

So it's physically and mentally easy for Xena, my vanilla acting wife, to cheerfully whip the hell out of me.

She switches to something stingier and my sobs turn to muffled yelps.

With all my twitching and flinching, I put considerable strain on the attachment point. However the surgical nylon material is tough, and copes with no problem. In addition, all that tugging has no effect on my cock, which stays strapped on its constricting cage.

She pads around to stand in front of me. She's wearing comfy bed socks tonight, but this would be sexy as hell if she was wearing boots.

Now she lays into my raised buttocks.

I make little screeches.

"Oh, that one really hurts then," she remarks.

She gets back onto the bed and the vibrator buzzes. I can only kneel and listen while my cock twitches hopelessly in its cage.

At length she finishes up, gives me ten more strokes that leave me with tears in my eyes.

"Right," she says, "Bed. Put everything away, slave."

Easy for Xena, my vanilla acting wife,
to cheerfully whip the hell out of me.
So aftercare is me unstrapping myself, packing away whips and straps.

As I get back into pyjamas, I ask, "How was that for speed and convenience, mistress, for my review?"

"Perfect," she says. "Better than everything else."

"Oh," I say, "You didn't tell me lockup for tomorrow."

"Stay locked," she says.

"What? It's my orgasm day."

"Too bad, slave," she says. "Now go to sleep."

"Hang on," I say. "Does that cancel the day or do I get to cum Tuesday?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow, depending on the state of the house. Now go to sleep, slave."

"Yes, mistress."

Lady Fox's diabolical contraptions
have turned me into my wife's slave!
But of course I lie there, back stinging, muzzled groin throbbing. I've spent my entire adult life craving whippings of this intensity. Now I'm getting them as routine.

And Xena just takes her dominance for granted. There's no posturing, no play acting.

It's no exaggeration to say that it's male chastity devices that got us to this point. There's something primal and real about the submission they imply. The more practical, the more wearable my device, the more real our dynamic has felt.

This year our FLR contract negotiation comprised of Xena establishing that she was in charge, I had no choice about this, and chastity was mandatory.

So you could argue that the scarily practical, indefinitely wearable devices we've had from Custom Chastity are responsible for our final slide into a deep Femdom dynamic.

Yes, Lady Fox's diabolical contraptions have turned me into my wife's slave!

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Thursday, 21 September 2017

Are Some Men Who Slut Shame Fighting Submissive Urges?

She was classy and articulate, one of the "nice girls",
but that didn't stop her from having sex.
There was a girl at my High School when everybody was younger than they should have been, and she had sex at a party.

She was classy and articulate, one of the "nice girls", but that didn't stop her from having sex.

And we all teased her. We slut shamed her.

I slut shamed her.

And she called me on it. The conversation went:
Me: "Ha ha. I hear you got up to things at the weekend. Fnar fnar."
Her (brightly): "Yes I had sex at a party. It was fun."
Me: "Oh... OK."
I think I apologised. I hope I did. And though we were never quite friends, I think we got along fine from then on.

Looking back I feel both shame and confusion.

The shame part is obvious. Even back then I was "anti-sexist", but here was a young woman starting to explore her sexuality and I was one of the baying idiots fucking it up for her. Thank god she (seemed) to have a thick skin. My excuse is that it was the 1980s, sex education was poor, and I was insecure enough to succumb to pack behaviour - she'd also have been teased if she had accidentally set light to her bedroom or had some other non-sexual mishap. Even so, I still feel ashamed.

Slut shaming is hardly in
the interest of straight males!
The confusion... well slut shaming is confusing.

For a start, slut shaming is hardly in the interest of straight males!

Surely, men want to encourage women to embrace their sexuality. And, wouldn't individual men gain a dating advantage by appearing to offer a safe space for exploration?

Also, it can't be about morality.

Even if you are on the conservative end of the moral spectrum, surely there are far more pressing issues in the world than whether an academic shops at Victoria's Secret!

So to me, the misogyny behind slut shaming looks very much like gynophobia - some men are afraid of the power of female sexuality.

I'm certainly one of those, so much so that I have fetishized fear itself. I've always been attracted to sexual women, and always been afraid of them. But what was I afraid of?

What are men afraid of? What is this mysterious power female sexuality is supposed to confer? How can dressing in stockings and a basque, for example, possibly be "empowering"?

Some men faced by sexual women
feel a submissive undertow...
The elephant in the room is Femdom.

I suspect that just as homophobia often hides homosexual desires, gynophobia must often - not always - hide strong submissive drives.

I don't mean that all gynophobes have detailed, torrid Femdom fantasies churning below the surface. I think it's more primal and disturbing for them than that.

I think Femdom is part of the range of natural human sexual relationships, one of the sweet spots that's evolved over the millennia. It's there in some of us whether we like it or not.

Some men faced by sexual women feel a submissive undertow. They can't articulate it, but it threatens to rob them of their autonomy and destroy the story they tell themselves about their masculinity.

So they push back, deny loudly, and thus they slut shame.

I don't think repressed submissive urges are the only reason why men slut shame. However, I would hope that as society becomes less kink phobic, men with submissive urges will understand and accept their drives and stop behaving like dicks.

Wouldn't it be nice if we saw more Femdom and less slut shaming?

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)