Become Her Slave!

My once-vanilla wife loves keeping me as her chaste slave. Find out how we ended up in a Female Led Relationship!

You can enjoy the Femdom lifestyle too, if you dare. Let me show you how to sell yourself to your vanilla wife or girlfriend as a part-time slave!

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Punishment - don't create a moral hazard!

"I like to wait until at least 60
before I whip you. That
way's more fun."
"Hmm," I say. "That's 30 demerits. They're rather mounting up." I'm writing lots of Femdom porn at the moment, and desperate for a dose of the real thing. (It doesn't help that I'm still stuck with my chastity regime, and unable to masturbate after writing even the hottest scenes.)

"That's OK," says Xena brightly. "I like to wait until at least 60 before I whip you. That way's more fun."

The way she says it, not hamming it up, not being all porno-domme, makes me hard inside my Holy Trainer 2 chastity device.

I'm still hard as I kneel in the corner waiting for lights out, and later, lying next to her.

But in the morning I don't quite feel the visceral fear of the lash.

You see, on the one hand, I do flinch from the prospect of being hit. A few demerits genuinely makes me squirm.

On the other hand, I live for those moments where Xena really does step into her mistress role.

So now, being slapdash, leaving tasks undone... that's a way of bringing on another Femdom session. Worse, the question is now not How many lashes? but merely When?

That night I explain this to her as I rub her feet, not in terms of her spoiling my Femdom experience, but just how it undermines the system.

"I know. It's just this once," she says and goes back to her book.

I'm sure it wasn't just this once, but I don't argue. I don't need to be right, just enslaved...


Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Friday, 21 August 2015

Ask Giles: Why male chastity?

Why male chastity?
A friend asked:
What is the attraction for males to be chaste? I understand edging, not being allowed to come. I also understand having someone control when. But are you ever allowed to come? Or is the holding off the most exciting part? More than the release?
I've already written about the vanilla benefits of male chastity. In a nutshell:
  • It gives us an extended plateau phase. Let's face, it a few seconds of squirting is a bit anticlimactic after all that build up, so this seems a fair trade - orgasm for sensuality.
  • A lot of us feel a bit ambivalent over penetrative sex. This is partly cultural baggage, but also perhaps inherent in heterosexuality since 75% of women can't reach orgasm by penis alone; for most of us, penis in vagina comes as a reward, a gift or an afterthought. This can make us feel exposed and guilty. 
  • Finally, female sexuality can be scary. The chastity device is a shark cage.

Now let's talk about submission, masochism and orientation.

...female sexuality can be scary.
 The chastity device is a shark cage.
Submission: Wearing a chastity device, surrendering control of your orgasm is about as submissive as you can get. The more submissive we are, the more we enjoy this surrender. It's an existential thing more than a sexual thing. I just feel right chaste.

Masochism: Masochism makes no sense until you realize that different modules in the brain work independently. I can be turned on by something I don't like, desire what I don't want and so on. Chastity where I don't get to come during erotic sessions is a pretty masochistic experience!  I'm trading orgasm for mind-blowing levels of turn on. The knowledge that I'm in extended chastity gives me a masochistic buzz every time I think about it.

Orientation: The brain is notoriously flexible and it seems that the male brain gets rewired by chastity until it becomes a sexual orientation. I feel sexiest in my device. All my fantasies revolve around being chaste, including my masturbation ones. When I feel horny, I just want to pleasure Xena. Of course the knowledge that my brain has been rewired, that I have been perverted, itself gives me a masochistic thrill...

So, am I allowed to come?Is the holding off the most exciting part? More than the release?

I generally come weekly. Our contract is set up so that Xena's orgasms delay mine. The more intense our erotic relationship, the less I get to masturbate. I would be very happy if Xena had several orgasm a week leaving me effectively permanently chaste. However, since we live in the real world with work and stress and so on, this doesn't happen very often.

I should add that different men like different aspects of chastity. For some it's extended foreplay and it usually, or always, comes off for sex.


Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Thursday, 20 August 2015

Lady Fox of Custom Chastity gives me a nice review

Her shop is pretty much
 
what I predicted about
the future of male
chastity devices.
Lady Fox of the new 3D printed Custom Chastity shop dropped by the Guest Book to leave a lovely review:

I have just down loaded your Getting Her to be a Vanilla Dominatrix.
LOVE LOVE LOVE - now all I have to do is point all the men that ask me how am I going to get my wife/partner into being a keyholder.
Will be adding a link on our site.
cheers
Lady Fox


Her shop is pretty much what I predicted about the future of male chastity devices, except they offer a range of material including steel and silver(!). I shall watch them with interest -- much as I love the HT2, the tube format is limiting in terms of endurance.


Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Saturday, 1 August 2015

110 hours, 3 jogs, 3 showers and no problems in the Holy Trainer 2

...wrote and published a crazy
amount of chastity erotica
.
OK perhaps I was premature in posting about how to really get dry after a shower in a Holy Trainer 2.

However, it worked!

Four days later I've just unlocked.

No marks on the shaft.

No skin problems.

No chafing.

In fact, sinisterly, the skin around my balls has never been healthier. I suppose the base ring keeps the scrotum from pressing into the thigh so the air circulates at night.

That was four days in which I jogged and showered three times (not counting right now), plus wrote and published a crazy amount of chastity erotica.

I'm left with the thought that, if it weren't for sports and relatives with children (who tend to climb on you) I could probably safely wear the device 24/7/365.

Something to "look forward to" when I'm older...

Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Thursday, 30 July 2015

How to shower in a Holy Trainer 2 then really get dry

It's a tube.
Chastity's a weird fetish (or perhaps an actual orientation). I do love my Holy Trainer 2 even though it stops me getting off, because it stops me getting off.

My first reaction when it arrived was, "OMG I never want to take this off." I even used a broken Holy Trainer 2 to make a sort of permanent chastity device.

Alas, part of what makes the device so very sexy is what means you generally do have to take it off; It's a tube.

Well duh, I hear you say. Yes of course it's a tube.

However that's important. Cages are far less comfortable, and give rise to all that unsightly bulging. They also expose the member in all its moods. Tubes, however, unless transparent, take male arousal off the agenda. Xena can't tell whether I'm turned on and we both like it that way.

The snag is that tubes create a hygiene problem.

A tube, it traps moisture and grease, so you need to wash the whole package - genitals and device - more often than for a cage. Worse, the tube makes it hard to get the water in where it's needed, and much harder to dry.

Last time I wore for 48 hours and two showers, I ended up with a rash on dorsal my penis. This time is different - I'm 65 hours in one shower in, with no problem. So, further experimentation is required, but I feel confident enough to share this.

Here we go.

Preliminaries
Part of the knack is in the wearing.

Use the stocking trick to install the device. Don't use lotion, which traps the ick, and do position the lower part of the base ring 3 fingers from your body and the top flush with your pubis.

Do also aim carefully when peeing. Use a Q-tip to position the slit. Try not to kink your dick when you aim.

Showering
Just shower!

However, have handy some kind of container that lets you tip water directly into your tube. I use a cut off shampoo bottle that actually fits snugly over the end, letting me squirt the water in and suck it back. You could also experiment with filling a small jug and dunking your package in it.

Here's how I go about it:

  1. Clean the inside of the bulb end. This is where all the pee and jism collects and crusts.You can do this by aiming the shower head into it, though if the water drills into your tender penis tip, it can lead to sharp sensations.
  2. Get mildly soapy water everywhere inside. Hence the container. You can even tip your package upright and fill the tube with water so it drains out the back.
  3. Rinse (Most important). Seriously. The skin hates being in contact with soap for extended periods. Do what you did when soaping, but with lukewarm fresh water and at least twice as much effort.

    Right, now you are clean and with irritants removed. Final step in the shower:
  4. Rinse your package in cold water. Really rinse. Get your penis especially cold enough to shrink it down to normal for a winter day. This kills off any flex the heat may have caused in HT2. However the main benefit is experienced in the next stage... 
Drying
OK here's the secret. 
DON'T USE THE HAIRDRYER.
Seriously. 

OK you can use it to dry the hair on your actual head. However, don't let it anywhere near your genitals. Here's why:

First, the tube concentrates the hot air and may cause local scorching. Ouch! Second, though they seem to have changed the formula, the Holy Trainer 2's bio-resin doesn't like getting hot. Third, though, is the important one...

The hairdryer warms up your dick, making it bigger, making the airflow hard to achieve, so trapping moisture. 

Instead, do this:
  1. In a room at normal temperature - this is not a fireside task! -  towel yourself down vigorously. Also towel those part of your scrotum you can reach. While doing this, tip and shake your package to get any large accumulations of water to tip out. 
  2. Carefully insert a Q-tip into the front slot of the device, at an angle - Jesus! Don't get in in your urethra! - then roll the Q-tip around between the tube and your shaft. Reverse the Q-tip and repeat. Then do it with another one.
    (This does mop up some of the water. However, the main aim is to unstick the skin from the wet sides, thus promoting airflow.)
  3. (Optional) Insert another Q-Tip and position it along the dorsal of your dick so the air can flow. Leave it in position.
  4. Grab a dressing gown only (we don't want to get too warm down there) and go do something else, preferably not sexy. The aim is to be moving around, letting the air flow.
  5. After half an hour, repeat step #2. If the Q-tip comes away mostly dry, you're done. Towel your genitals if they need it.
  6. Sleep with your lower half nude, except for the device of course.  
So in a nutshell: 
No hairdryer. Keep your genitals cool. Use Q-tips to break the seal between skin and tube and to mop Lots of ventilation. No lotion. Airflow and body heat does the rest.
Disclaimer: This is working for me for my dick, this week. Give it a try. However, do then briefly remove your device to see if it's worked for you


Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Writing chastity erotica while in chastity...

I'd like to imagine at least some
of my readers are female...
OMG! This is insane.

With no chance of an orgasm, no social or sporting commitments, all I'm doing is working on churning out chastity erotica - mostly finishing old pieces and polishing them up, but also writing new scenes.

I'm just one walking, well sitting, horn. Except not a proper horn since I'm locked into my Holy Trainer 2 chastity device. I haven;'t even seen my dick since a brief shower break on Monday!

Meanwhile, I can still see the steady, um, trickle of pages read on the kindle owners lending library.

Somebody stopped at six pages last night! Was six pages all it took to get them off? I'd like to imagine at least some of my readers are female... though, given the genre it's unlikely!

Are any of my readers locked in chastity like me? How wonderfully meta that would be.

I've also revived my erotica blog, which now looks very nice, complete with a sexy Pinterest feed. Go take a look.


Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

New erotica series!

Xena... forbade me to have an orgasm
until I got some more books out there!
To be honest, actually being in a Female Led Relationship, and in ongoing chastity, has made it hard to write erotica.

In the past, my erotica always had an element of manifesto or wish fulfillment. Part of me wanted desperately to swap places with the main character. I'd still take a sabbatical in my alternate Femdom flapper world if I could, but really I'm now living the Femdom life.

My erotica was also built of masturbation fantasies. Nowadays, I don't get to masturbate very often, and when I do, I'm fantasizing about the cool things Xena and I have done for real.

So I don't need erotica the way I used to and my various grand plans sort of went by the by.

A few weeks ago, Xena noticed this and simply forbade me to have an orgasm until I got some more books out there! It's been something like thirty days now!

However, I have a series drafted, and I've put the first one out.
What would happen if you took part in a Charity Roman Slave Auction while secretly wearing a male chastity device?Brett is “bought” by the bossy Pippa, a posh young lady of statuesque proportions who wants a male slave to add zest to her woman-only toga party. She also secretly plans to have her first time with him and has no idea that he is locked up for the night...Can he cope with an evening of pent-up lust and humiliation? What will she make of his chastity device? And, when his fantasy collides with reality, will Brett enjoy being beaten and used?Will he willingly be enslaved by Posh Totty? Read episode one and find out!Short Story. About 5,000 words.
Writing chastity erotica while chaste... it's quite an experience!


Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her