Become Her Slave!

My once-vanilla wife now loves keeping me as her chaste slave. Learn how to get some Femdom in your life too!

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

What do you get out of locking up your man's cock? Three real benefits of male chastity...

"Blah blah blah
[disingenuous claim here]"
 
Men who want to be locked in a chastity device can talk a lot of crap:


"I'm weak and have a porn/sex/masturbation addiction!" 
"My cock is too little to serve you!" 
"I'll be a better husband!" 
"Blah blah blah [disingenuous claim here]" 

Yawn.

The gut response is usually one of irritation: "OMG I hope you're not like that!" or "You should be doing these things anyway!"

So here I am, a man with a chastity fetish, setting out why you - a woman (or gay man, actually) - might like to keep your partner's cock locked in one of those devices.

Why should you take me any more seriously?

Mostly because I have nothing to gain by convincing you - I'm already locked up by my wife, and she likes it so much she's the one pushing me into 24/7 wear.

I am also aware of you looking over my shoulder, ready to throw up your hands in disbelief.

So I'm going to be as honest as I can be. Read on...

Sunday, 22 May 2016

When is it OK to wear my male chastity device? (The Ethics of 24/7 Wear Part 1)

http://www.femdomartists.com/femdom-humor/male-chastity/locked-adamantium-chastity-belt
When it is OK to wear your 
chastity device?(source)
Male chastity is in the mainstream media, but not in the way we'd want...
"Surgeon sent naked pictures of himself to dominatrix from work and boasted of wearing chastity belt as he operated on patients"
Daily MailD
I take the story with a pinch of salt.

He seems to have taken chastity selfies at work, but not necessarily in the operating theatre. He was obviously enjoying the services of an internet dominatrix, but just because he seems to have said the device was distracting to her, doesn't mean it was in reality. We simply don't know the truth.

However, I do often wear my chastity device 24/7 and this case has set me thinking about the ethics of it.

When it is OK to wear your chastity device?

What people know doesn't hurt them... unless it actually hurts them. So can I suggest three cast iron rules:

Iron Rule #1: Do not wear your chastity device when it has a high chance of upseting the innocent.

No our fetish - or is it an orientation? - isn't radioactive, but it is like an erection: personal and sexual, and people have the right not to have their faces rubbed in it. Don't wear your device to a family nude beach. Don't flaunt it in the gym locker rooms - unless it's that kind of gym. Don't... And so on.

(Yes, there is an argument that chastity is an orientation and that we have a right to be ourselves, but in the absence of a Male Chastity Liberation movement to educate the public, it seems needless and counter-productive to flaunt the tackle around our tackle.)

Iron Rule #2: Do not wear your chastity device if it will distract you in ways that are dangerous for you and others.

If wearing a chastity device is like wearing a vibrator would, then the rules are similar. You wouldn't drive with a vibrator attached to your dick, would you? So don't drive while chaste if the device is stimulating you in some way. And if you are a surgeon, please don't operate on anybody in that state.

(Yes, OK, vanilla folk get distracted too - by a nice pair of legs, for example. However they don't set out to be distracted right out of the box, and nor should you. And yes, quite often wearing a chastity device is more like having a secret piercing, in which case this rule does not apply.)

Iron Rule #3: Do not wear your chastity device it it stops you being yourself.

If you can't routinely do something you should be doing while wearing the device, routinely remove the device for that activity.

I won't give the obvious examples of social and family obligations incompatible with chastity wear because I don't want to invite the wrong sort of search engine traffic. However, if - say - wrestling is part of your life, and you can't wrestle in your device, then remove the device for wrestling.

(Sure, it's OK to avoid an activity while enjoying an occasional chastity marathon, but we should hold onto the fact that chastity isn't the only or most important aspect of our authentic self.)

I think there's more to it than that because there's also the knotty problem of how we feel about how we treat other people, even when they don't know what we are doing. That's for another article... 


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Friday, 20 May 2016

And another ten days of 24/7 chastity in my Custom Chastity Ghost

"I feel as if I am standing
on the edge of an abyss."
I'm on day 10 of 24/7 male chastity. I'm also approaching 90 days without an orgasm.

Every night when I ask Xena, "Shall I stay locked up?" she says "Yes." There are no issues with the device - no chafing, no pinching, no problems with cleaning - so I guess she can keep extending things until my orgasm day arrives.

However all it takes is a weight-loss violation or an orgasm for her, and that too will recede.

I feel as if I am standing on the edge of an abyss.


Practical Information

Unlike my first chastity marathon with this device, I went in with no pre-existing chafing or skin damage. As far as I can tell, the device hasn't caused any new damage.

I am not using any lubricant or lotion. The device doesn't need it, and without it grips the skin so firmly that I can do naked star-jumps. Similarly, morning wood isn't a problem.

Hygiene is fine. I can shower and dry and keep clean, especially because there's no need for lotion.

It really is invisible under normal clothes and also doesn't restrict my movements. During the last ten days I have met with clients, socialised - even gone to the pub - and kept up regular exercise.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Sunday, 15 May 2016

Why the Femdom dating scene is often so crap - the numbers

I've observed this for a few years now. A Canadian study suggests that the real ratio is potentially 1:1, but (male) subs report really crappy ratios in the BDSM dating scene, and dommes have difficulty getting dates with men they actually like.
Several things are going on, I think:
  1. Not all the kinky people are around on the scene.
  2. For (probably cultural reasons) men tend to be greater sexual risk takers than women, so more men than women are "active" about their kink, and thus more subs end up on the Scene.
  3. Since there are plenty of subs around, "active" dommes may pair off without ever coming near the Scene.

The end result looks roughly like this:
  • 25% of potential dommes remain inactive (for cultural or confidence reasons).
  • 50% pair off permanently with a sub without appearing in the Scene.
  • 25% of dommes end up in the Scene
Meanwhile:
  • A tiny percentage of male subs remain inactive.
  • 50% pair off without reaching the Scene.
  • 50% end up looking for a domme in the Scene.
So that gives you a 2:1 ratio "in favour" of dommes.
It gets worse.
If half the dommes are monogamous (or in poly arrangements that cancel out dommes and subs equally), then that rises to 3:1.
My impression is that this is actually bloody awful for both parties. 
  • The male subs are so collectively desperate that they lose sight of other compatibility needs, become entitled, and resort to "numbers game" tactics - all self defeating.
  • The end result is that scene dommes find the signal to noise ratio overwhelming.

I'm very glad to be married to my mistress!

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

10 more (unremarkable) days of 24/7 Chastity

I just completed ten more days of 24/7 lockup in my Custom Chastity customized "Ghost".

There's really not much to say.

I wore it to do sport, jog, socialise, shower, sleep...

It was pretty much like a second skin, or exoskeleton, and no more intrusive than having slightly bigger genitals.

This time, I had no existing damage when I went into the adventure, and had no problem with chafing.

On removal, I found a pink polished spot on the underside where my dick had rubbed against the ring. This vanished after a few hours and I'm confident I could have gone to 14 days.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

How to Feel Good about your Femdom Fetish

It is pretty much impossible to change
your orientation 
From time to time, men turn up on Reddit asking how to lose their Femdom fetish or submissive orientation.

It is, of course, pretty much impossible to change your orientation like that. It is far easier to feel good about your kink and let it enrich your life.

For a start, you are not remotely alone.

You are part of a large minority that just happens to be invisible!

Femdom fantasies are incredibly common and the statistics slowly emerging show that a lot of kink goes on in people's lives behind closed doors.

If you look at the Irish Times(!) sex survey, a significant minority of people have done BDSM, with the percentage going up as they get younger. A recent Prague study also indicated that something like a quarter of couples are female led (though not necessarily in a kinky way). Finally a Canadian sex survey showed nearly half of men to have Femdom fantasies (and just under half of women).

You are also not damaged goods doomed to be alone.

All the modern evidence suggests that your BDSM orientation is largely unaffected by early life experience. If you read Gloria Brame's Different Loving Too, you'll also see that Femdom - and D/s in general - is also completely compatible with living an otherwise normal life and with being as dominant as you want outside the bedroom. That's my experience too. And those surveys strongly suggest that there are women out there who will play with you, if only you go looking.

Finally, kink makes you feel socially indestructible! Nothing that can happen at work, for example, can be as humiliating as what your domme might do to you on a regular basis...
Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Monday, 25 April 2016

Xena crosses another FLR line and sentences me to five additional days without orgasm

"And you can add five penalty days." 

"And you can add five penalty days," says Xena as she gets ready for work.

"What?" I blurt. "But I already have ten."

A penalty day defers my orgasm by a working day, so now I suddenly have three whole weeks to survive without coming -- this after a spectacularly sexy romantic weekend (which I promise to blog about) preceded by a couple of orgasm free weeks.

All that whirls through my head and my cock inflates in its cage... the cage I haven't removed for five days.

"That seems to be the only way to get you to take me seriously," says Xena.

She's not... abusing her power. I blew up over domestic stuff... lost my temper Basil Faulty style, and she hates it when I do that and we have this contract so...

And right then, it didn't feel like a game to either of us.

Fifteen days is far far longer than I would volunteer for. I mean it turns me on that she can do that to me, but -- bloody hell -- I don't want to live through it.

And my wife not only knows it, she knows I will obey her -- maybe it's because of the cage.

"Oh," says Xena. "It goes up by 50% each time. So next time it will be 7.5 penalty days." As she leaves for work, she adds, "And I want a clean kitchen when I get home."

This happened before with demerits - something clicked and she started using them when she was genuinely angry. Now it's happening with penalty days.

It is both terrifying and a turn on and...

Most of all it's validation. I think most submissives are afraid of finding out they are really doing it on their own and that their partner is merely going through the motions to humour them.

But not this morning. There was no humour this morning.


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)