Become Her Slave!

My once-vanilla wife loves keeping me as her chaste slave. Find out how we ended up in a Female Led Relationship!

You can enjoy the Femdom lifestyle too, if you dare. Let me show you how to sell yourself to your vanilla wife or girlfriend as a part-time slave!

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

How to turn a vanilla man into a sexual submissive

Look for two kinds of behavior your man exhibits
that you could 
into Femdom. 
Of course, I wouldn't: I'm a straight male and I'm monogamously married to Xena! However, it's interesting to think about because it makes us consider how submission works without the fetish.

So here's what I'd say to a female friend who wanted to turn her vanilla boyfriend or husband into a submissive. 

(The following assumes consent is given for each step of the way. Please also note that introducing Femdom to the wrong person can be playing with fire and potentially dangerous.) 

Look for two kinds of behavior your man exhibits that you could extend into Femdom. I call these "Femdom Windows":

Service Window: He likes doing stuff too for for you, e.g. if he likes giving you long massages followed by oral. Or pampering you for an evening.
Bottoming Window: He likes lying back and "letting" you do things to him, for example a blow job.

Use your instincts to pick the behavior you think you could most easily extend and work out what's in it for him. There are two broad kinds of incentive:

The Plateau Incentive: Men don't normally have much of a plateau phase. Assuming it doesn't switch him off, anything you can do to string out his orgasm will be addictive.
The Pornstar Incentive: Most men love it when women express sexual agency, by which I mean "act dirty", for example using  a sex toy or letting him use it on you, or dressing sexily, or just loudly expressing sexual pleasure.

Most men love it when women express sexual agency...
The precise incentive depends on the two of you, but it should be something he will enjoy for its own sake, but wouldn't normally get.

For example, in a Service Window, perhaps he gets to dress you in clothing that turns him on, then kneel and watch you masturbate.

In a Bottoming Window you might dress the same way, then string out his orgasm.

Make sure you know how to do the kink safely and successfully, then suggest it during the Femdom Window. Do this casually but sexily and focus on the activity itself: "Whenever you do this I imagine you're my slave and it gets me wet" or "If you let me tie you up I'll give you the blow job of your life".

Once you've done this once, do it again a week later. Keep doing it until you've got it perfect and he doesn't just suggest the activity, he pleads for it.

"Rub my feet, then I'll tie you up."
At this point, two factors should give the kink an increasing momentum:

Conditioning Factor: Men quickly learn to get aroused by things they associate with sex. It's where a lot of fetishes come from. By now he's starting to associate Femdom with being very turned on... :)
Femdom Factor: I'm almost sure that female dominant, male submissive is one of several sweet spots in human relationships. Kink aside, it's certainly a very easy and secure place to sit since everybody knows what to do and the sex is guilt free.

This is the point where you start adding things that you like. They can't be things that repulse or trigger him, but they can be things you like more than he does.

So if you're working on a Bottoming Window, you could make it conditional on him licking you, or get some service first; "Rub my feet, then I'll tie you up." If it's a Service Window, you could extend the service or start introducing discipline. Whatever you do, make sure it's sexy and uses at least one of the Incentives. If he's tidying the apartment, make sure there's a nice surprise waiting for him in the bedroom.

After that, it's rinse and repeat. Keep extending the Femdom Widow either spontaneously or in a planned way. Sooner or later, you'll evolve a dynamic that suits the both of you.

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?

Sunday, 3 August 2014

What happened next: Femdom tease and denial like never before

 "It's just I need ten minutes alone in the
bedroom... that phone call turned me on."
After the amazing phone tease, my supposedly vanilla wife arrives home, checks her mail then comes into the kitchen, "How long will food be?"

"I was just waiting for you before doing the last bit," I say, ever the compliant husband.

"Oh," says Xena with a girlish squirm that doesn't quite suite her business clothes. "It's just I need ten minutes alone in the bedroom... that phone call turned me on."

"I could come and help you..." I say.


"I can't think of  anything more frustrating," I add hurriedly. "And then I'd have to cook the meal while trying to to think about it."

Five minutes later, I'm kneeling at the foot of the bed naked except for my chastity device. Xena is sitting on the duvet -- not hiding under the covers -- half naked, legs splayed, vibrator circling her clit and labia.

Soon my whole plastic-sheathed groin is rising and falling in time to each buzzing orbit. There's nowhere for the lust to go. My eyes water. A couple of times I find myself squinting or even looking away.

And then she's done.

"Clean this," she says, handing me the vibrator. "Then cook."

This time she's wearing the shoes as well.
Though dizzy with lust,  I do manage to cook. We chat over the meal, watch TV while I rub her feet... as the credits roll I say, "You mentioned demerits."

"Yes," says the woman whose feet I've been so lovingly massaging. "Go prepare yourself."

I hurry to the bedroom and strap myself over the bed. The velcro cuffs have a velvet lining. The duvet is soft under my body. Given how hard I've been working, this is the most comfortable I've been all day!

Then Xena strides in, slips into those shoes and proceeds to beat me. It's not just the ten or demerits, it's a few strokes for a warm up and a finale with Fred Norman's flogger, wielded with such ferocity it lands like a half dozen spankings.

Still wearing the shoes, she orders me to clear up the punishment apparatus, then I kneel at the foot of the bed.

Welts still clawing at my skin, I kneel and watch as she pleasures herself again. This time she's wearing the shoes as well.
Me? I sleep eventually.

It goes on for ever.

It's like being stuck in one of those animated porn gifs; the vibrator goes round and round, and my groin gets tighter and tighter.

At last her hand begins to blur quiver, breathing quicken and she's done. "Clean this."

Then she reads for an hour while I massage her feet and legs, my gaze fixed on her pussy.

Then she goes to sleep.

Me? I sleep eventually.

The next morning it turns out that each of her four orgasms this week have cost me an extra day of chastity. I expected to be allowed a private orgasm on Monday. Now it's next Friday, and the weekend hasn't even started.

When we started out, my wife was adventurous but vanilla. My books can help you walk the same Femdom path!

Friday, 1 August 2014

Femdom phone tease

"That's cheap," says Xena. I can hear her footsteps in the background. She's walking home.

...despite being in her forties, my wife reminds me of one of those
bubbly flappers I so love.
We're talking about a new kettle at a local bargain store. "I don't think it's a counterfeit," I say. "I've had several cups of tea and I'm fine..." I throw her a line in case she wants to play; "...except this odd erectile dysfunction."

Xena giggles and despite being in her forties, my wife reminds me of one of those bubbly flappers I so love.  "I think that's caused by other issues."

My penis comes alive in its chastity device. "Which reminds me, you're mean..." I say, squirming.

"Of course I am."

"...that thing you said last night." (After a beating me and making me help her masturbate, she told me to go to sleep without thinking about the big dildo going in and out of her vagina.) "Have you any idea how hard it is not to think of it? I suddenly start to drift off and I think, Oh good, I've stopped thinking about it and then WHAM! And this morning and all the way into town. And back!"
 I might as well have stepped through
 a door to one of my fantasy worlds.

Xena sounds gleeful. "And there's nothing you can do about it."

Now my chastity device is so tight I can barely stand. "Oh god. Oh god."

"Just think," says Xena. "You have ten demerits already. What will happen tonight...?"

I slump into a chair and clutch my imprisoned groin. "Help..." I say and I mean it. I'm so far out of my comfort zone on this that I might as well have stepped through a door to one of my fantasy worlds.

I tell her about blogging last night, and how many hits we're getting -- which seems to please her -- then ask if she'll pick up desert and cheese from the shops.

Xena is not pleased. She gives me a demerit over the phone. And that was just for the cheese.

(What happened next...)

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?

My Chastity Hell: Teasing, denial, discipline and protocol on a one-sided National Orgasm Day

Xena on the phone
(as I picture her)
 "Did you get much writing done?" asks Xena. She's on the phone walking back from work.

"I write erotica faster when there's no option to stop to masturbate," I say. I like to remind her of my chaste state when I can. "Ironically, it's National Orgasm Day."

"Really?" she says sweetly. "Tell me what you wrote."

My Holy Trainer 2 tightens around my cock. "That's really unfair. I'm trying to cook dinner."

She giggles. "Go on."

It's a double turn on. The story floats my boat -- I wrote it after all -- but Xena doesn't normally tease me like this. Standing in the kitchen locked into a chastity device, I tell her my opening chapter. I have to keep stopping. My the end of it I'm slumped against the kitchen table, groin throbbing like a second heart.

"...chats sporadically over the meal
I've cooked"
Xena arrives home, goes over my domestic tasks in a matter of fact way, and chats sporadically over the meal I've cooked.

I tidy up, rub her feet while she watches TV, all the while feeling horribly turned on. I'm too weeks into chastity, I've been wearing a device almost 24/7 since Sunday. I need some intimacy.

Unfortunately, it's mid week. Nothing intense normally happens on a work night. Worse, I'm not allowed to try to initiate erotic activity. However...

"Would you like to do demerits tonight," I say.
"horny and frustrated"

"Oh," says Xena. "I'm not really in the mood."

"It's just that you're were planning to go out on Friday and this weekend is busy..." I trail off. "Now I feel awful. I'm just horny and frustrated. You can do what you like. I'm sorry."

"Go prepare yourself."
"Give yourself a demerit," says Xena. After a pause. "Actually, go shower and I'll decide."

When I present myself back in the lounge, she says, "Go prepare yourself while I finish watching this."

"May I use a slave point to get you to wear your sexy shoes?" (Slave points are rewards for excellent service. I now have one left.)

"OK." She returns to her program.

Triumphant, I hurry to the bedroom.

But as I get out the whips, twenty two demerits starts to seem like a lot.

Whipping has become so routine I can't remember the separate instances. Even so, it's like jumping into icy water -- I don't think it'll ever get easy -- and right now I'd rather make love to my beautiful wife, with or without the device.

A cuddle would be nice too...

"sexy shoes"
So by the time I've secured myself over the foot of the bed, I'm in a sweat and remembering how vicious she was last time.

Finally, the door opens and she strides into the room. There's a pause then her feet appear before me. She has sexy feet anyway, but right now she's wearing leopard-pattern high-heel mules. "Hmm. Twenty two demerits," says my wife sounding amused.

The fear is an aphrodisiac. My penis inflates inside its tube and I whimper out of frustration and anticipation of pain.

"Plus you left the bathroom in a mess," says Xena.

And she whips me.

Four for the bathroom, then twenty two for various failings.

In the past, I've worn a butt plug for whippings. However, rather than make it more erotic, it actually made it difficult for me to have an erection. This time I'm unplugged and hard as a rock inside my tube. The effect is... extreme.

Xena isn't into "funishment". She strikes each blow to hurt me, and my god it does hurt. (I flinch and whimper so much she tells me to be silent and starts again.) At the same time, each stroke seems to drive the blood into my caged cock so that I become more and more turned on. That actually becomes a new kind of suffering; I haven't come in two weeks, and have no idea when next I'll be allowed to masturbate.

Xena isn't into "funishment"
Finally Xena orders me to release myself and clear up.

I move around unsteadily, cock pounding inside its prison, half an eye on her feet in those sexy shoes. My back feels -- You know when you get glue on your skin and it dries? Or a big scab forms over a graze? -- tight with welts. Realizing what just happened drives yet more pressure into my chastity device. "Beautiful wife," I gasp.

"Mistress," corrects Xena.

A twitch in my cock. This is the first time we've discussed protocol. I always thought she'd find that term too melodramatic, too cliched. "So you like mistress, not ma'am or madam?" I ask. "And you want me to use mistress when I speak?"

"Yes, slave," says Xena.

My head whirls. I just want to roll onto the floor and... I don't know. I can't do anything to my cock. "So wife and compliant husband by day, mistress, and slave and mistress at night..., mistress?"

"Got it in one, slave," says Xena. "Oh," she says. "You brought out the erotica."

Odeco multi-speed vibrator
I did. I left a couple of sexy graphic novels on a handy side table. I tense, expecting another beating for my temerity.

She picks them up and thumbing through them kicks off her shoes and slips into bed. "What devices have we got, slave?" she asks.

I present her with two vibrators, a nice small Odeco multi-speed, and a massive vibrating Tantus John Doe.

"Into the corner, slave," she orders.

I whimper in frustration. I want intense intimacy, not this.

...massive vibrating Tantus John Doe
"Give yourself another demerit, slave, I can do anything I want," says my wife, picking up the multi-speed.

So I kneel in the corner to watch her masturbate.

Watch is almost the wrong word. She's sitting up in bed with the duvet pulled up to her middle. All I can see is her hand teasing her nipple through her top.

She's done this before. It's not pornographic masturbation. It's not for me. She takes my slavery so much for granted now, I'm not even sure my presence adds anything to her experience.

(Seriously! The other day she got lost in a book and fell asleep leaving me kneeling in the corner like a forgotten appliance until her glasses fell off and woke her and she ordered me to bed.)

However being truly ignored means I'm invisible as long as I stay kneeling in the corner. I'm watching her in a truly private moment.

"...a better view"
So I stare at her fingers orbiting her nipple as if it's the most important thing in the world. Each turn of her fingers churns my groin. I don't have as penis anymore, just an uncomfortable tightness that I can see rolling off into the future.

Without warning, she puts the book aside and throws the covers back. "Come over here and get a better view."

She never does this!

I stumble over and land kneeling at the foot of the bed. Now I can watch the black vibrator nuzzle the apex of her pussy. The blood drains from my brain and my head slumps onto the mattress. This is actually too much.

Xena laughs. "You're not allowed to look away, slave."

"Yes mistress," I stammer.

"Now the bigger dildo," she says, "and some lubricant."

Moving drunkenly, back still smarting from the harsh whipping, I lube up the dildo, turn it on, and slowly ease it into her vagina. It's big, much bigger than my real cock, but she takes it with a purr, "That's good."

So now I'm kneeling on the bed between her legs. I haven't had sex for over a year. I haven't had an orgasm for two weeks. I can't even get an erection thanks to the chastity device, I'm sliding a massive dildo in and out of Xena's pussy and all I can feel is a love as intense as the pressure inside my Holy Trainer.

And then she comes and orders me back into the corner.

"Try not to think of that big dildo
going in and out of my pussy."
She reads for ten minutes then orders me to clear everything away then rub her feet. She's relaxed, sated. Even so she's ready with the demerits; one for being slow at tidying up the other for squeezing her toes too hard. It's not an erotic thing, just the way it works.

When I finally make it to bed she says, "Try not to think of that big dildo going in and out of my pussy." Then she rolls over and goes to sleep.

I don't sleep quite so well. Every time I start drifting off, I think "Oh good I managed to stop thinking about that dildo..."

In the morning we discover I missed buying an item on sale and cost our household budget something like £50; a significant sum of money at the moment.

I'm embarrassed and guilty.

Xena's angry.

And she gives me five demerits.

Because all this is real.

Dare you introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?

Monday, 28 July 2014

Permanently chaste! (Sort of)

Today, Monday morning, I'm sitting here sealed into a metal Chinese chastity device.

No key.

No padlock.

Just a blob of robust plastic riveting it closed.

Permanent chastity lite.

It feels awesome, not least because I did this with Xena's enthusiastic approval. Here's what happened.

...lovely legs
Rewind back to Sunday night.

I'm dressed only in a long T-shirt and chastity device, rubbing Xena's feet and lovely legs and getting hard inside my Holy Trainer 2 and suddenly there's a... loosening in my groin.

It's the start of our 6 day lock up "marathon". I'm now used to long periods of chastity, but for practical reasons I don't usually get to stay continuously locked up. So this is a treat. Even more so because for the first time she's taken responsibility for the key.

"What's wrong," says Xena, looking up from her book.

"That damn thing's broken," I say.

"What? Again?"

She sounds sympathetic and annoyed herself, but she doesn't make a fuss. She trusts me to go sort things out.

I dig out my bag of BDSM from the back of the wardrobe and flee to the kitchen. I'd previously glued the older broken tube using epoxy resin so I give this one a go. It repair simply breaks. That takes me back to my old Chinese chastity device.

I stare at the thing and my heart drops. After the sleek sensuality of the Holy Trainer, I can't face the clunky padlock and that damn post that sticks into my naval whatever I do. Then I have this idea. I hurry back to Xena.

"Can I offer you options?"

"Go on."

"I'm going to have to wear my old device. I can either lock it on with this padlock and give you the key... or..." My mouth goes dry. She's going to say no. It'll be too much fuss and weirdness. "I could take a blob of this thermoplastic I have... It's solid when cold but like putty when at 60 degrees and..."

Here eyes light up and she grins broadly. "That sounds good."

It's like a cold hand grips my genitals. She hasn't even heard the full explanation and she's saying yes. It's as if she's thought about this. I tell her that getting out will require a hairdryer, wet towels and an hour or so of privacy - not a trivial thing. She checks I don't expect her to be involved then says matter-of-factly, "OK. Go on then."

Polymorph plastic - handy for
making and fixing sex toys 
So now I'm rushing around the house looking for my pot of Polymorph plastic (aka "Friendly Plastic" left over from my DIY chastity belt days.

There's a lump left in the bottom so I dump it in hot water, roll a small piece into a rod the thickness of the rivet. Then with total calmness I get into the device, push the rod through the pinhole and squish it around the post.

Five minutes later I am sealed into my chastity device. There's now no way out except using tools.

It feels permanent.

I hurry back to Xena, who's reading. "Do you want to see my handiwork?"

"Not right now," she says, as if virtually emasculating her husband was normal. "Put my socks on, my feet are cold."

So I fish out her bed socks, tuck her feet under the duvet and - still naked below my T-shirt - go and kneel in the corner.

The metal device is not as comfortable as the Holy Trainer and I reach down to adjust it.

It's then it hits me.

Xena, meanwhile, just reads her book.
No lock. No key hole. I'm really sealed in.

My cock goes off like an airbag. It's all I can do not to groan and play with my nipples.

Xena, meanwhile, just reads her book. 45 minutes later she berates me for not warning her of the time. It's almost as if my "permanent" chastity makes it even easier for her to treat me as a slave.

Later in the dark as we curl up together, I say, "I'm sorry the key I gave you doesn't work any more."

"Oh," she says, honey in her voice. "I think I'll cope. It'll be amusing."


She yawns. "Because you won't be able to get out."

I lie there horribly turned on and I remember a dream I had just when we were starting down this path:
Xena and I were in a modern hospital waiting room. Everything was clean and white. She was being affectionate but matter-of-fact. I was feeling supremely calm. I was there to be fitted with some kind of permanent chastity implant.
I also think about how Xena wasn't interested in any sort of grand finale at the end of my 150 day chastity stint - I had to bring myself off in private the following morning.

Though as a wife and partner, she enjoys making me come, with her mistress hat on, she's just not interested in my orgasm. Long term chastity is not about its cumulative effect on me, just her ability to neuter me.

That thought, dear reader, gets me even harder inside my sealed up semi-permanent chastity device.

EDIT: I worked out how to sort of repair my Holy Trainer 2, so end up breaking the seal. It took 45 minutes of careful use of a hairdryer, wet flannels and - eep! - a craft clipper. Not ever going to be a routine task that!

My books can help you get from "Damn! My wife is so vanilla!" To "OMG! I should have been careful what I wished for!" What have got to lose? (Except your orgasm...)

Sunday, 27 July 2014

6 days in the Holy Trainer 2

I don't normally do long lockups. Partly, my life is too busy and there are too many situations when wearing a chastity device would be icky. Mainly, though, it's because since Xena has taken control of my orgasms the actual device seems less important.

Chastity Tickers Ticker
Even so, we have a quiet week ahead of us and my usual jogging partners are away over the summer, so I'm locked up until lunch with friends on Saturday. I'll try to live as usual, including exercise etc. I wonder whether any problems will arise...

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?