Become Her Slave!

My once-vanilla wife now loves keeping me as her chaste slave. Learn how to get some Femdom in your life too!

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

How to Feel Good about your Femdom Fetish

It is pretty much impossible to change
your orientation 
From time to time, men turn up on Reddit asking how to lose their Femdom fetish or submissive orientation.

It is, of course, pretty much impossible to change your orientation like that. It is far easier to feel good about your kink and let it enrich your life.

For a start, you are not remotely alone.

You are part of a large minority that just happens to be invisible!

Femdom fantasies are incredibly common and the statistics slowly emerging show that a lot of kink goes on in people's lives behind closed doors.

If you look at the Irish Times(!) sex survey, a significant minority of people have done BDSM, with the percentage going up as they get younger. A recent Prague study also indicated that something like a quarter of couples are female led (though not necessarily in a kinky way). Finally a Canadian sex survey showed nearly half of men to have Femdom fantasies (and just under half of women).

You are also not damaged goods doomed to be alone.

All the modern evidence suggests that your BDSM orientation is largely unaffected by early life experience. If you read Gloria Brame's Different Loving Too, you'll also see that Femdom - and D/s in general - is also completely compatible with living an otherwise normal life and with being as dominant as you want outside the bedroom. That's my experience too. And those surveys strongly suggest that there are women out there who will play with you, if only you go looking.

Finally, kink makes you feel socially indestructible! Nothing that can happen at work, for example, can be as humiliating as what your domme might do to you on a regular basis...
Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Monday, 25 April 2016

Xena crosses another FLR line and sentences me to five additional days without orgasm

"And you can add five penalty days." 

"And you can add five penalty days," says Xena as she gets ready for work.

"What?" I blurt. "But I already have ten."

A penalty day defers my orgasm by a working day, so now I suddenly have three whole weeks to survive without coming -- this after a spectacularly sexy romantic weekend (which I promise to blog about) preceded by a couple of orgasm free weeks.

All that whirls through my head and my cock inflates in its cage... the cage I haven't removed for five days.

"That seems to be the only way to get you to take me seriously," says Xena.

She's not... abusing her power. I blew up over domestic stuff... lost my temper Basil Faulty style, and she hates it when I do that and we have this contract so...

And right then, it didn't feel like a game to either of us.

Fifteen days is far far longer than I would volunteer for. I mean it turns me on that she can do that to me, but -- bloody hell -- I don't want to live through it.

And my wife not only knows it, she knows I will obey her -- maybe it's because of the cage.

"Oh," says Xena. "It goes up by 50% each time. So next time it will be 7.5 penalty days." As she leaves for work, she adds, "And I want a clean kitchen when I get home."

This happened before with demerits - something clicked and she started using them when she was genuinely angry. Now it's happening with penalty days.

It is both terrifying and a turn on and...

Most of all it's validation. I think most submissives are afraid of finding out they are really doing it on their own and that their partner is merely going through the motions to humour them.

But not this morning. There was no humour this morning.


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Saturday, 16 April 2016

Four more days in my Custom Chastity customized Ghost

I seem to have slipped into another chastity "marathon". Or perhaps this is business as usual now... we'll see.

A few months ago, we established a routine. Every night, I'm not allowed to leave my corner until Xena has handed out demerits and penalty days. This means I'm not put in the "meta" position of nagging her for discipline.

Now we've proven I can wear my new chastity device 24/7, we've added another item to the check list: tomorrow's "locked" status. Last night Xena came in from a girl's night out and fell asleep almost instantly, so I remained locked by default.

So that's four nights and as many days (counting today). I've jogged and showered, gone shopping and socialised as normal. I even used the urinal in a coffee shop - it's safe enough if there's nobody to see when you get lined up, and if you use one corner.

I started my last marathon with an abrasion that then refused to fully heal while wearing 24/7 - the contact kept disrupting the scab.

This time, I went in with healthy skin and fine after four days. The only issue I did have was when the scrotum in contact with the underside of the tube got a bit pink and raw looking - the effect of skipping a shower. When I did shower and dry properly, the problem went away. So the rule is, keep clean!

The Ghost stays put and doesn't shift around. There's also no problem with morning wood - actually I've been wearing every night for over a month and had no problem with it. Peeing is easy as long as I take a moment to get lined up. The device is invisible under my clothes, especially using the cable tie so there's no padlock bump. It's also supremely light; an exoskeleton rather than a second skin.

Lady Fox has recently quit her day job to devote herself to making a proper business out of Custom Chastity. I have a feeling she's going to be busy...


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Thursday, 7 April 2016

5 Reasons Why Online BDSM Advice is often Confusing

The Internet is a great resource for information and advice on BDSM. However,
  1. People have made a hobby of BDSM and may often overthink it.
  2. People like to show off their knowledge, the more complex the better.
  3. People like to belong to a tribe with its own language and traditions.
  4. People like to have their own choices confirmed.
  5. People see BDSM through the lens of identity politics.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Sunday, 27 March 2016

How to get your reluctant partner into a little lifestyle D/s

The hardest part is making it sufficiently
difficult that you 
will make honest
mistakes and get punished. 
So you have some hot D/s going in the bedroom but want a little more of it in your day-to-day life...
The trouble is that your partner is your partner and presumably likes having an equal. That's how modern relationships are supposed to work!
All that kinky protocol and costuming you crave... it's actually  a lot of effort. Why would your partner commit to doing it day-in-day out?
Nor does all that "being more dominant" make much sense on its own. Up to this point, I'm betting your D/s has been all about your dominant turning YOU on - something they get a kick out of, but which requires a lot of mental energy if it doesn't come naturally to them.
Fortunately, your partner will find it much easier to "be dominant" when it's a path to clear personal objectives. 
So, try this:
Establish out-of-bedroom spheres where you want your partner to be in charge, preferably ones where up to this point there has been running conflict. For example, in our case I am a slob and left to myself would neglect housekeeping. 
Don't offer your authority in these spheres!
Instead, tell them that if they use your preferred D/s toolset they are allowed to try to get what they want, that you will take this seriously and not cheat (in order to be punished), and that this will make you very happy. 
You then need to spell out this toolset.
It's not that complicated! The hardest part is making it sufficiently difficult that you will make honest mistakes and get punished. 

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Thursday, 24 March 2016

Why it's more dignified to be a bottom than a submissive

Via Femdom Artists.
Here's what mainstream culture thinks about male bottoms (right):

A bottom is a wealthy older man who can pick his painful pleasures a la carte  from a professional dominatrix (though it could be an indulgent wife, perhaps a younger one with an engaging foreign accent: "'ave you been a naughty boy cheri?").

He's rakish, boyishly gleeful, and charmingly debauched.

For all that he enjoys being whipped and chained, he's not remotely dissempowered because he's calling the shots.
...sex workers facilitating
fantasies 

It's the picture we get in modern crime dramas and comedies, and best exemplified by the film Personal Services: sex workers facilitating the fantasies of men who can afford to pay for their services.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

I mean, it's OK to be a bottom (or a top... and non-charging tops are so rarely portrayed in mainstream media) and it's a good thing pro-dommes exist.

Have you been a naughty boy?
Granted. there's something a little wrong with the picture, because tops and bottoms come from all corners of society.

However, I imagine that it's nice - empowering - to be able to point to aspirational role models.

The real problem is that all this makes it far less embarrassing to be a male bottom than a submissive.

That leads people to misidentify and - worse - get into a Sub Panic and start clinging onto the power they want to relinquish by topping from the bottom.

But then, that's what the Internet is for...


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

About my Femdom books...

My first book!
Best of all I like to write erotica.... chastity erotica.

It's an odd sort of porn where nobody has penis-in-vagina sex!

However, people like it. My first book, The Chastity Belt was even published by a real publisher, Pink Flamingo.

That book was based around a delicious dilemma. The poor hero is stuck in a time-locked hi-tech chastity device. Getting turned on makes him stay locked up for longer... Unfortunately, all the previously unavailable college girls like him that way. So what does he choose? Wild sensual experiences, or having an orgasm again... ever?

That pretty much ticked all my boxes and it was years before I wrote any more fiction.

Meanwhile I explored my submissive orientation online and I kept encountering pushy, self-entitled submissives who wanted to guilt their wives (it was usually wives) into dominating them.
Getting her to enjoy Femdom
even though she's vanilla!

Talk about self contradictory!

However, I'd been there myself.

Instead of trotting out the same advice time and again. I wrote a Femdom guide about how to get your vanilla wife or girlfriend to dominate you without making an ass of yourself.

So that's how Vanilla Dominatrix was born.

After a while, I noticed that vanilla women were asking for help in dominating their partners.

A lot of the advice people dished out was how to be a better top, not a more spontaneous domme and  how to fit a particular stereotype.

What if you really owned your sub.
What would you do? How would you act
Most of this seemed useless or actually harmful... some of it was clearly one-handed typing by male fantasists.

My real life experience of Femdom was that Xena came into her own as soon as she started behaving selfishly; If you are pleasing yourself, it's easy to know what to do next! (Most of the male submissive kicks can arrive as a by-product.)

So I took as a starting point, "What if you really owned your sub. What would you do? How would you act?"

That's where How to be a Roman Dominatrix came from.

I do tinker with writing another self help book. However, I've returned to fiction with a vengeance, trying out different ideas.

At the moment my main series is Enslaved by Posh Totty: a bunch of sexy posh college girls turn our hero into a chaste slave with lots of service, some of it erotic, and even some (frustrating) lesbian action. It helps that I'm always chaste when I write it...

I've got other series on the go too: Erotic SciFi, Erotic Thriller and a weird total world Femdom story set in an alternate jazz era. Go take a look at my author page!


Learn how to how to walk the Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)