When is it OK to wear my male chastity device? (The Ethics of 24/7 Wear Part 1)

When it is OK to wear your 

chastity device?(source)

Male chastity is in the mainstream media, but not in the way we'd want...

"Surgeon sent naked pictures of himself to dominatrix from work and boasted of wearing chastity belt as he operated on patients"
Daily MailD

I take the story with a pinch of salt.

He seems to have taken chastity selfies at work, but not necessarily in the operating theatre. He was obviously enjoying the services of an internet dominatrix, but just because he seems to have said the device was distracting to her, doesn't mean it was in reality. We simply don't know the truth.

However, I do often wear my chastity device 24/7 and this case has set me thinking about the ethics of it.

When it is OK to wear your chastity device?

What people know doesn't hurt them... unless it actually hurts them. So can I suggest three cast iron rules:

Iron Rule #1: Do not wear your chastity device when it has a high chance of upseting the innocent.

No our fetish - or is it an orientation? - isn't radioactive, but it is like an erection: personal and sexual, and people have the right not to have their faces rubbed in it. Don't wear your device to a family nude beach. Don't flaunt it in the gym locker rooms - unless it's that kind of gym. Don't... And so on.

(Yes, there is an argument that chastity is an orientation and that we have a right to be ourselves, but in the absence of a Male Chastity Liberation movement to educate the public, it seems needless and counter-productive to flaunt the tackle around our tackle.)

Iron Rule #2: Do not wear your chastity device if it will distract you in ways that are dangerous for you and others.

If wearing a chastity device is like wearing a vibrator would, then the rules are similar. You wouldn't drive with a vibrator attached to your dick, would you? So don't drive while chaste if the device is stimulating you in some way. And if you are a surgeon, please don't operate on anybody in that state.

(Yes, OK, vanilla folk get distracted too - by a nice pair of legs, for example. However they don't set out to be distracted right out of the box, and nor should you. And yes, quite often wearing a chastity device is more like having a secret piercing, in which case this rule does not apply.)

Iron Rule #3: Do not wear your chastity device it it stops you being yourself.

If you can't routinely do something you should be doing while wearing the device, routinely remove the device for that activity.

I won't give the obvious examples of social and family obligations incompatible with chastity wear because I don't want to invite the wrong sort of search engine traffic. However, if - say - wrestling is part of your life, and you can't wrestle in your device, then remove the device for wrestling.

(Sure, it's OK to avoid an activity while enjoying an occasional chastity marathon, but we should hold onto the fact that chastity isn't the only or most important aspect of our authentic self.)

I think there's more to it than that because there's also the knotty problem of how we feel about how we treat other people, even when they don't know what we are doing. That's for another article... 

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Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

GET THE "FOR HIM" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!
GET THE "FOR HER" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)

(For ebook format, 

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And another ten days of 24/7 chastity in my Custom Chastity Ghost

"I feel as if I am standing
on the edge of an abyss."

I'm on day 10 of 24/7 male chastity. I'm also approaching 90 days without an orgasm.

Every night when I ask Xena, "Shall I stay locked up?" she says "Yes." There are no issues with the device - no chafing, no pinching, no problems with cleaning - so I guess she can keep extending things until my orgasm day arrives.

However all it takes is a weight-loss violation or an orgasm for her, and that too will recede.

I feel as if I am standing on the edge of an abyss.


Practical Information

Unlike my first chastity marathon with this device, I went in with no pre-existing chafing or skin damage. As far as I can tell, the device hasn't caused any new damage.

I am not using any lubricant or lotion. The device doesn't need it, and without it grips the skin so firmly that I can do naked star-jumps. Similarly, morning wood isn't a problem.

Hygiene is fine. I can shower and dry and keep clean, especially because there's no need for lotion.

It really is invisible under normal clothes and also doesn't restrict my movements. During the last ten days I have met with clients, socialised - even gone to the pub - and kept up regular exercise.

---

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

GET THE "FOR HIM" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!
GET THE "FOR HER" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)

(For ebook format, 

Lulu or iTunes.)

Four more days in my Custom Chastity customized Ghost

I seem to have slipped into another chastity "marathon". Or perhaps this is business as usual now... we'll see.

A few months ago, we established a routine. Every night, I'm not allowed to leave my corner until Xena has handed out demerits and penalty days. This means I'm not put in the "meta" position of nagging her for discipline.

Now we've proven I can wear my new chastity device 24/7, we've added another item to the check list: tomorrow's "locked" status. Last night Xena came in from a girl's night out and fell asleep almost instantly, so I remained locked by default.

So that's four nights and as many days (counting today). I've jogged and showered, gone shopping and socialised as normal. I even used the urinal in a coffee shop - it's safe enough if there's nobody to see when you get lined up, and if you use one corner.

I started my last marathon with an abrasion that then refused to fully heal while wearing 24/7 - the contact kept disrupting the scab.

This time, I went in with healthy skin and fine after four days. The only issue I did have was when the scrotum in contact with the underside of the tube got a bit pink and raw looking - the effect of skipping a shower. When I did shower and dry properly, the problem went away. So the rule is, keep clean!

The Ghost stays put and doesn't shift around. There's also no problem with morning wood - actually I've been wearing every night for over a month and had no problem with it. Peeing is easy as long as I take a moment to get lined up. The device is invisible under my clothes, especially using the cable tie so there's no padlock bump. It's also supremely light; an exoskeleton rather than a second skin.

Lady Fox has recently quit her day job to devote herself to making a proper business out of Custom Chastity. I have a feeling she's going to be busy...

---

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

GET THE "FOR HIM" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!
GET THE "FOR HER" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)

(For ebook format, 

Lulu or iTunes.)

Custom Chastity Update 10: 14th night locked, Day 9(!) of 24/7 chastity lockup - 200 hours

I was a bad person. I went swimming last night but made an excuse and wore my beach shorts so I didn't have to unlock.

It was excruciatingly embarrassing - the shorts that is, not the Custom Chastity "Ghost" which remained invisible.

That pink skin left over from the old chafing? Turned out to be tender and is soft and water right now, probably the combination of the pool water and the contact. I don't think wearing 24/7 has helped it heal, but it certainly hasn't prevented the healing. If the device were at fault, my scrotum would look like raw meat by now!

Otherwise, I have worn this male chastity device for 200 hours solid with no apparent ill effects and no close calls in which I felt under threat of discovery.

Committing to 24/7 for any period is a bit like going on a Mars mission. So, for that matter, is sending somebody a chastity device. There are so many things that can go wrong - chafing, pinching, morning wood, shifting, fall out - and if any of them do go wrong the mission is over.

So my mind is blown.

Not only have I managed to wear this thing day in day out for 9 sometimes psychologically uncomfortable days, but it hasn't really caused me any problems.

Having got this far, I can't see any practical reason for ever removing the device.

This is an incredible feat of design!

It's a feat of design I shall have to enjoy for the rest of today. An older relative has descended on us - we're a handy base for shopping and cinema - so under the terms of our rules, my orgasm day gets bumped until tomorrow.

Click to see the 10-day full and detailed review with pictures.

---

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

GET THE "FOR HIM" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!
GET THE "FOR HER" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)

(For ebook format, 

Lulu or iTunes.)

110 hours, 3 jogs, 3 showers and no problems in the Holy Trainer 2

...wrote and published a crazy
amount of chastity erotica.

OK perhaps I was premature in posting about how to really get dry after a shower in a Holy Trainer 2.

However, it worked!

Four days later I've just unlocked.

No marks on the shaft.

No skin problems.

No chafing.

In fact, sinisterly, the skin around my balls has never been healthier. I suppose the base ring keeps the scrotum from pressing into the thigh so the air circulates at night.

That was four days in which I jogged and showered three times (not counting right now), plus wrote and published a crazy amount of chastity erotica.

I'm left with the thought that, if it weren't for sports and relatives with children (who tend to climb on you) I could probably safely wear the device 24/7/365.

Something to "look forward to" when I'm older...

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Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her. 

How to shower in a Holy Trainer 2 then really get dry

It's a tube.

Chastity's a weird fetish (or perhaps an actual orientation). I do love my Holy Trainer 2 even though it stops me getting off, because it stops me getting off.

My first reaction when it arrived was, "OMG I never want to take this off." I even used a broken Holy Trainer 2 to make a sort of permanent chastity device.

Alas, part of what makes the device so very sexy is what means you generally do have to take it off; It's a tube.

Well duh, I hear you say. Yes of course it's a tube.

However that's important. Cages are far less comfortable, and give rise to all that unsightly bulging. They also expose the member in all its moods. Tubes, however, unless transparent, take male arousal off the agenda. Xena can't tell whether I'm turned on and we both like it that way.

The snag is that tubes create a hygiene problem.

A tube, it traps moisture and grease, so you need to wash the whole package - genitals and device - more often than for a cage. Worse, the tube makes it hard to get the water in where it's needed, and much harder to dry.

Last time I wore for 48 hours and two showers, I ended up with a rash on dorsal my penis. This time is different - I'm 65 hours in one shower in, with no problem. So, further experimentation is required, but I feel confident enough to share this.

Here we go.

Preliminaries
Part of the knack is in the wearing.

Use the stocking trick to install the device. Don't use lotion, which traps the ick, and do position the lower part of the base ring 3 fingers from your body and the top flush with your pubis.

Do also aim carefully when peeing. Use a Q-tip to position the slit. Try not to kink your dick when you aim.

Showering
Just shower!

However, have handy some kind of container that lets you tip water directly into your tube. I use a cut off shampoo bottle that actually fits snugly over the end, letting me squirt the water in and suck it back. You could also experiment with filling a small jug and dunking your package in it.

Here's how I go about it:

1. Clean the inside of the bulb end. This is where all the pee and jism collects and crusts.You can do this by aiming the shower head into it, though if the water drills into your tender penis tip, it can lead to sharp sensations.
2. Get mildly soapy water everywhere inside. Hence the container. You can even tip your package upright and fill the tube with water so it drains out the back.
3. Rinse (Most important). Seriously. The skin hates being in contact with soap for extended periods. Do what you did when soaping, but with lukewarm fresh water and at least twice as much effort.
   
   Right, now you are clean and with irritants removed. Final step in the shower:
4. Rinse your package in cold water. Really rinse. Get your penis especially cold enough to shrink it down to normal for a winter day. This kills off any flex the heat may have caused in HT2. However the main benefit is experienced in the next stage... 

Drying

OK here's the secret. 

DON'T USE THE HAIRDRYER.

Seriously. 

OK you can use it to dry the hair on your actual head. However, don't let it anywhere near your genitals. Here's why:

First, the tube concentrates the hot air and may cause local scorching. Ouch! Second, though they seem to have changed the formula, the Holy Trainer 2's bio-resin doesn't like getting hot. Third, though, is the important one...

The hairdryer warms up your dick, making it bigger, making the airflow hard to achieve, so trapping moisture. 

Instead, do this:

1. In a room at normal temperature - this is not a fireside task! -  towel yourself down vigorously. Also towel those part of your scrotum you can reach. While doing this, tip and shake your package to get any large accumulations of water to tip out. 
2. Carefully insert a Q-tip into the front slot of the device, at an angle - Jesus! Don't get in in your urethra! - then roll the Q-tip around between the tube and your shaft. Reverse the Q-tip and repeat. Then do it with another one.
   (This does mop up some of the water. However, the main aim is to unstick the skin from the wet sides, thus promoting airflow.)
3. (Optional) Insert another Q-Tip and position it along the dorsal of your dick so the air can flow. Leave it in position.
4. Grab a dressing gown only (we don't want to get too warm down there) and go do something else, preferably not sexy. The aim is to be moving around, letting the air flow.
5. After half an hour, repeat step #2. If the Q-tip comes away mostly dry, you're done. Towel your genitals if they need it.
6. Sleep with your lower half nude, except for the device of course.  

So in a nutshell: 

No hairdryer. Keep your genitals cool. Use Q-tips to break the seal between skin and tube and to mop Lots of ventilation. No lotion. Airflow and body heat does the rest.

Disclaimer: This is working for me for my dick, this week. Give it a try. However, do then briefly remove your device to see if it's worked for you. 

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Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her. 

Wearing a chastity device 24/7 (and Xena talks about how she likes to whip me)

...a rare sleepy intimate chat about Femdom.
Find out how to get some of this in your life!

The other night I we have a rare sleepy intimate chat about Femdom. I remind Xena of this conversation:

"I feel I have to ask your permission not to belt up."
It is not always easy to settle down to sleep in a chastity device
when you're sharing the bed with a beautiful woman you love.
"Too right," says Xena.
"So," I continue, risking pushing a little. "I've been wearing the Holy Trainer most nights, but what are the rules?"
"Where it whenever it's needed," says my wife.
I chuckle. "You need to be more specific than that."
"At night," says Xena. "Otherwise you might masturbate - which is how this all started."
"What? Oh." This is news to me. "And during the day when on my own?"
"Yes," says Xena.
"OK," I say, 

"See," I say into her back.  "You do forget things."

Her laughter comes through the dark of our bedroom. "Well sometimes I get ideas on the spur of the moment and don't always remember later."

"That's fine," I say. "But that's how I've been living since then, and when you said you didn't care about the day, you made me feel like a middle-aged pervert."

She likes beating me, but only when it
makes some kind of sense.
Find out how to get some of this in your life!

Amusement bubbles through her voice. "But you are a middle-aged pervert. But OK. Sorry. That is what I wanted."

"Are we still talking sexy things?" I ask.

"Go on..."

"Well I wondered..."

Xena finds this funny. I'm much less forthright these days, I guess. "Go on, spit it out!"

"Well, you know how you like beating me...?"

"Yes...?"

I squirm. Her casual admission turns me on horribly.

"Would you ever like to just beat me? I mean no demerits. Just..."

"No. That would be weird. Though sometimes if I feel like it I do add extra."

We chat around it. She likes beating me, but only when it makes some kind of sense. It has to be punishment, not just for the hell of it -- confirmation that the demerit counter was a very good idea.

It's odd wearing a chastity device
24/7 through all the ins
 and outs of normal life.
Find out how to get some of this in your life!

Moments later, she's asleep and I'm lying there in the dark, hard inside my chastity device.

It's odd wearing a chastity device 24/7 through all the ins and outs of normal life.

It's certainly not erotic. I mean most of the time I don't notice the Holy Trainer 2 is there. When I do notice it, it's frankly comforting. So much so that when I had to escape to for my midweek swim I actually felt a mounting sense of panic.

Slave Giles only existed in the
bedroom...
Find out how to get some of this in your life!

Possibly I was nervous of breaking the £100 sex toy -- remember I have to warm the ring to bend it back, and that's only going to work a few times. However that sense of nervousness has blended with the psychological barrier against pull-out. Some of this is bound up in Xena clearly wanting me chaste, even though she doesn't always "own" that thought. The longer I spend locked up, the harder it is to contemplate removing the chastity device.

What it is most certainly is a blurring of identities.

Once upon a time, there was a Slave Giles and a Regular Giles.

Slave Giles only existed in the bedroom, then around the house for sexy weekends, then in the house all the time and if we went off together. Slave Giles listened to different kinds of music, didn't read the kind of manly thrillers Regular Giles like, didn't do man stuff in general except home improvement...

Now it turns out that they are the same person. I'm typing this listening to Guns 'n Roses. In a little while I'll go shopping. I might meet a friend for coffee... and I'm still the same person. Some processing to do, I think.

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Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her. 

How we ended up in a Female Led Relationship Part 1: Making it real and routine

More than a hundred days in, and we're still in a Female Led Relationship. I'm trying to work out how we got here!

There are clues in my blog, but most of the important steps only turn out to be important looking back. Worse, Xena isn't big on talking about stuff like this!

Here's what I think happened..

Stage 1: The Femdom became 100% real and routine (leading up to two years ago)

...she really was treating
me as a slave.

Over the preceding five years or so, I'd taken the approach set out in Getting Her to be a Vanilla Dominatrix; I tried to tailor all my Femdom suggestions around Xena and her various moods. There were setbacks, I messed up a few times. Even so, Xena started to ask for her slave from time-to-time. 

The big breakthrough came -- as she once let slip -- when she realized she could treat me "how the hell I like". First this meant falling asleep without considering my erotic needs. Finally, one memorable weekend away, she realized that she could enjoy Femdom without any erotic action at all. She ordered a massage and then fell asleep, leaving me chaste.

If that sounds frustrating, it was. However, it was also utterly hot and deeply satisfying because she really was treating me as a slave. 

Stage 2: Dead Bedroom except for Femdom (culminating about a year and a half ago)

The Femdom "sex"...was doing fine

This happens to an alarming proportion of married couples in middle age. Despite loving me, and being an affectionate wife, Xena simply lost interest in our sex life. Lots of things were to blame: boredom and familiarity; stress at work; and me losing my job, which seems to have triggered an odd evolutionary psychological effect in her. Vanilla sex became uninvolving, infrequent, unintimate. The Femdom "sex" -- with me in a chastity device -- however, was doing fine.

I read the usual self help guides for married couples, some useful, some dry as dust. However nothing made much difference because she simply wasn't interested. Sometime during the next few stages I simply gave up; I had already found a cure for the Dead Bedroom.

Stage 3: Xena asks for Femdom to be the default intimacy (a year and a half ago ago)

About a year ago, Xena asked -- in her round about way -- if we could stop having penetrative sex and stick to Femdom in the bedroom. I initially hedged, but ultimately agreed. The Femdom was so much more exciting than the depressing vanilla sex, and I would in any case trade my orgasms for hers.

Stage 4: A practical 24/7 male chastity device (a year and a half ago)

...a cheap Chinese chastity device

Spurred on by Xena's request, I splashed out and bought a cheap Chinese chastity device. (It was fine, though I would advise anybody now to go straight to the Holy Trainer 2.)

Up to this point I had been using a DIY chastity device made out of polypropylene webbing. It was actually pretty good, however not really practical for spending time outside the house or in the company of others. 

The way was open for longer periods as a slave...

(See Part 2)

Dare you introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?