Friday, 24 August 2018

Day 10 in the custom Custom Chastity Saint, Day 5 of permanent chastity

Ten days in this custom nylon chastity device and not much to report. There's no build up of dead skin under the shaft, no visible signs of mild chafing - no red patches - and no odd smells. Everything dries easily, though a quick blast of the hairdryer speeds that up. Apart from not being able to get erect of have an orgasm, it's pretty much like having naked genitals.

Five days of permanent chastity...  that still takes some getting used to. I keep noticing dead decision points, and sometimes I'm aware of my situation and get horribly turned on all on my own. The relationship effects aren't yet clear...

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

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Tuesday, 21 August 2018

Day 1 of (?) Permanent Chastity

Woke, saw Xena off to work, worked, cleaned, exercised, worked some more, cooked dinner, ate with Xena, cleaned up, jogged, showered, rubbed Xena's feet while she read, went to sleep...

All very normal.

But different.

For a start, no emergency key.

I don't really think I need one for actual emergencies - if I'm lying in an ambulance, rooting around with a key in my underpants will be just as excruciatingly embarrassing as  asking them to bring out the shears to cut the nylon. Also, with no metal parts, the device isn't going to get in the way of  a scan.

However, the emergency key did mean I always had the theoretical possibility of wimping out and unlocking for any given activity, for example for a spontaneous pint with the lads. Turns out I was making all sorts of background decisions I'm only now aware of because when I hit the decision point, it's no longer there. That gives me a panicky feeling I had not expected.

The other thing is, no chance of suddenly being unlocked.

Up until now, there's always been a key around, either in Xena's drawer, or, if that one is in the time safe, the security sealed emergency key in my my wallet. Though the latter is supposed to be a last resort, there's always been the possibility that Xena might suddenly want me out for sex - we had actual sex twice on vacation! - or that she might just decide I should have an orgasm the next day.

Knowing that can't happen is... odd.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Monday, 20 August 2018

My wife just sealed me in permanent chastity!

"That sounds great. Do it."
"Can I talk to you about next month?"

It's Sunday night and I'm folding Xena's clothes away while she lounges in bed with a book.

"What about it?"

"You're away at conferences a lot, and you'll be trying to clear your desk before you go, then catch up when you return. I wanted to talk about how to make it work for me."

"I'll fit things in as best I can," she says. She means beatings and occasional orgasms for her.

"That's great," I say, not entirely believing her. "But discipline is already a bit irregular."

"You've not been pulling your weight," she said, "you've been forgetting things."

"That's your fault," I say.

"I just can't be bothered chasing you up."

My shoulders sink. "I hate it when you drift off and withdraw!"

"Well you're getting four demerits for forgetting to compost the flowers," she says. There's a sudden glint in her eyes.

"It's more than discipline..," I say. "I need..."

A few weeks back, while on vacation, we had a talk. Oddly we had had actual penis-in-vagina sex twice. After a run down the beach we discussed, for the first time in years, my needs, how I get anxious if I don't feel "owned", and how she can get the best out of me by making me feel owned.

I recite, "To be Controlled, Affirmed, Scared and Exploited." (Yes, there's an acronym there, but I don't make a fuss about it. It does help me remember.)

Don't read that as a trade: good husbanding for kink. I'm very much telling her how to get things she wants, and those things go far beyond what she could expect even from a stay home husband. And she likes... loves being in charge.

"Hmm," she says and goes back to her book.

I finish the clothes, take a shower and towel myself off while we chat. I'm naked except for my customised Custom Chastity Saint. "The new device is going great," I remark. "Five days in and not even any dry skin or red patches. Fire and forget."
Friendly Polymorph Plastic

"Right," she says, sitting up in bed. "I think we should lock you up for a very long time. Six weeks perhaps..."

My cock inflates like an airbag. I start shaking. There's something on my bucket list, something I've already prepped for. But it has to be something she does to me.

"That would certainly count as Controlled and Scared,"  I say.

"At least until we take a holiday in October," she continues. She glances in the direction of my bedside table where the time lock safe normally keeps my key. "Check the calendar and..."

"How about just using the friendly plastic seal?" I blurt.

"How would that work?"

"Plastic that melts in very hot water," I say. "I take out the locker and push the stuff in. Once it's set, I'd need an hour with a hairdryer or a long hot bath* to get free. I'd basically be stuck until you remembered to free me."

*UPDATE It turns out the long hot bath doesn't work! 
Escape will require careful use of a hairdryer.

"What about if you needed to get out?"

"I've thought about it," I say. "Any circumstances in which I needed an emergency key would already be excruciatingly embarrassing.  And in a medical emergency, they could always cut it off - it's only surgical nylon."

"OK," she says, "That sounds great. Do it."

I'm not surprised. My wife loves having me in chastity, hates having to engage with the fuss of deciding lockups and setting timers. I've basically offered her locked by default. This suits her down to the ground. I have a horrible feeling that only qualms about the practicality have held her back from doing this.

That black blob is the overflow
of the plastic seal.
Still shaking, I go to the kitchen to get a cup of hot water. I've already prepped a rod of just the right size. I let it soak until it's pliable, remove the magic locker from my device and replace it with the plastic.

Which hardens.

As does my cock.

Voila! I'm sealed in. Permanent - or at least open ended - chastity.

I return to the bedroom. "It's set, mistress," I say.

"Excellent," she says. She glances at me, amused, satisfied.

Here's what she sees behind the cut (i.e. cock in chastity picture):

Tuesday, 14 August 2018

The World Needs More Female Focused Femdom

The World Needs More Female
Focused Femdom
When people post one of those "Survey Shows Straight Men Crap In Bed" articles on twitter, I often respond with  "The World Needs More #FemaleFocusedFemdom" as cure for things like men coming to bed unwashed, skimping on oral, skipping other stuff...

Let's be clear, "more" is not the same as "everybody". However, an Irish sex survey has 20% of modern couples doing some BDSM. There's probably more couples who would if either partner introduced it, or if they had the confidence. A Quebec survey has roughly half people with dominant fantasies and half with submissive ones, though it's not clear how these overlap.
So there's potential for, say, 30-40% of couples to enjoy some bedroom Femdom. As long as it's female focused - she's really in charge - they can learn her needs and how to satisfy them. However...

The cultural expectation of Femdom makes
Female Focused Femdom difficult. 
The cultural expectation of Femdom makes this difficult.

The dominatrix - whether pro and/or enthusiastic kink fairy, statistically rare - is the gold standard.

So Femdom is performed around his fantasies, tailoring his experience. All work and no play for her.

That same gold standard probably makes malesubs amongst the worst lovers, and bad at submitting. They're not interested in vanilla sex, so don't put the effort in. Since no woman can live up to the fantasy, they obsess with simulating Femdom rather than doing what she wants.

I think malesubs are also often scared of the submissive undertow, and cling to unattainable fantasies in order to keep their heads above water. Their orientation threatens not just their masculinity, but their autonomy. So they go into denial and play Alpha (badly).

Female-focused Femdom is the fix for all this. It's still kinky, but hands her license to be selfish. The sub trades fantasy for the thrill of raw submission. Both partners find satisfaction.

Not for everybody, but the world would be better if there was more of this.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Monday, 13 August 2018

You can dye Custom Chastity devices!

Lady Fox sent me a customised version of the Saint to review: elongated head section to prevent turtling, big vent on the underside (pictures of it worn below the cut).

But it was pink.

It was a really impressive pink - as vividly pink as a sissy's wildest dreams. Even so, not really our style, though it did make Xena laugh.

Skin Tone!
My erotic persona is more understated, possibly even more dignified (if you can be dignified when locked into a chastity device and made to kneel in the corner).

No worries, said Lady Fox. You can dye it a different colour. And she sent me a link to the DyeMore Synthetic range.

I should have realised! The Custom Chastity devices are all surgical nylon, so a commercial dye should do the job. (I'll bet the same dye will be able to handle a lot of other non-metallic devices, but don't take my word for it.)

I've always wanted a flesh-toned chastity cage. It's hard to explain why. I think it's because it just feels more sinister - the more natural it looks, the more it seems to be a permanent fixture.

There's a practical side too. In the event of some mishap, something that matches my skin is less likely to catch the eye - less likely than a pink chastity cage! - and easier to pass off as a medical device.

There was no skin tone, but there was a "Sandstone". So I got that from Amazon and followed the instructions: put the device plus water in a small saucepan and heated until simmering, added about a third of the bottle of dye, simmered for 30 minutes. Then I put it through the dishwasher.

Here's the result (it's me wearing the device, so behind the cut - Xena has locked me up for several days, and I didn't get a chance to take a snap of my handiwork first.)

Thursday, 9 August 2018

Update: Two days in with the Custom Chastity Saint

I've been locked since Tuesday night. No problems. Drying is really easy - that big vent on the underside is great! Some sticking during the day, but not at night or during erotic activity. No turtling.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Friday, 3 August 2018

Customised Custom Chastity Saint Chastity Device: A Cure for Turtling and Catching

Pink! OMG!
(This is a rather technical article about male chastity device design and measurements. If you are looking for more on our Female Led Relationship click here.)

So Lady Fox of Custom Chastity sent me a modified version of the Saint to try out. It's lurid pink - her idea of a joke, I guess (it certainly made Xena laugh). It incorporates three changes to deal with "catching" and "turtling", and it works.

I think catching and turtling are the bane of close fitting male chastity.

In "catching" the penis shrinks a little, becomes unseated, then when it expands gets stuck with its nose rammed into the roof of the tube. In "turtling" the penis shrinks dramatically - usually in self defence - then gets jammed in position.

My Ghost
These cause problems when peeing - you need to go fishing for your dick with your finger - but also spoil the chastity experience. You rarely ever find your penis neatly seated in its prison. And, without manual intervention, an erection is likely to get stuck in the barrel - that's a real issue if you're tied up!

One solution is to have a relatively loose tube/cage section. My Custom Chastity Ghost fits this bill: the whole tube is width/diameter of the crown of my penis when hard. Occasionally if out and about on a cold day, peeing meant going fishing with my finger, but otherwise catching and turtling weren't a problem.

My Saint
However, we all want close fitting devices that make us feel constrained, and hides well under clothing. This leads us to the Saint which I've been wearing almost continuously since last Autumn.
As I put it in my review:
I find I'm mostly lined up to pee when I down-zip, but if I'm not, then it's easy to align properly. Similarly, if I'm stuck in the barrel due to night turtling, it's a simple matter to poke a finger in and retrieve the errant member. Oh, and of course, there's nowhere for pee to collect.
So the fix is essentially to accept catching and turtling as a fact of life, but have easy access to fix it. Until...

One day, using the sock trick to get into the device I pulled too much in and squished my head a little. The some of the shaft came into the head section. I left it like that to see what happened. Imagine my surprise when everything remained seated even during exercise, and no need to go fishing with my finger when I woke up! It wasn't perfect because I had to squash the head and it sometimes ended up caught unevenly. However, shifting the C ring back would resolve that.

Here's the sketch I sent Lady Fox:

I think it works because (a) the penis rears before it turtles, and that's the sweet spot to stop it, and (b) the new position for the C ring rests firmly on "corpus" rather than on its edge.

So, always keen to use me as a guinea pig,  Lady Fox shifted the C-ring back, and stretched the paperclip a little. She also - you can't see this - made the top of the cage section flush with the inside of the C-ring so there was nothing to catch on:

C-ring moved further back.
Finally, she removed the central ventral spar creating one big vent:

One big vent
This is intended to solve the occasional chafing problem caused by heat and sweat. However I suspect it also removes a trigger for turtling, and takes the rug out of jamming - there's nothing to jam against.

And it works.

For the last two days, I'v woken with morning wood perfectly seated in the device. And every time I've gone to pee, I've downzipped to find myself already lined up. At the most I've had to push the device against my body in order to dock the head with the slit.

Here's me wearing it, once I had dyed it a flesh tone:

Last night I took about fifty lashes while tied up. My erection came and went, but every time I was hard I was perfectly seated.

So basically, change just one measurement, and the turtling goes away. If only I'd known.

As for wearing this Custom Chastity device long term - watch this space...