Friday, 28 June 2013

How to make your CB 100% secure without piercings or spikes!

Here's my cheap security fix for ball gripping male chastity belts:
Go to updated version.
It's really not that complicated! Surgical tape works well for short lock-ups because the base ring protects it from interference, but once the CB is removed, a good soak in the bath and a fingernails unwind it without losing pubic hair. Rubber solution glues like "Copydex" are more waterproof but check for skin sensitivity first.

I haven't yet endurance tested this see what happened when I did. The pubic hair shouldn't be taut, so is unlikely simply to come out over a day or so. The idea is that when the device is in place properly, there's no pressure on the tether.

Let me know if you try this too...

For spicing up your sex life with some male chastity, see my Femdom self-help guides....

Why ball gripping chastity devices are secure

So, after much dithering, I bought a Chinese chastity device! It's more convenient than my DIY webbing based device, and avoids putting pressure on my back.

I'm not going to review the device because, though mine is stainless steel and well crafted, it's quite possible I've just been lucky (see the Chinese chastity device review thread here). Here it is:
My chastity device (picture taken from random supplier)
So, it's a cage and ball gripper, and of course it's not secure...

...but it is also 100% secure.

Let me explain.

Penises are squishy and scrotums are stretchy. There's no way that a ball trapper can pull the scrotum tight enough to prevent you from working your penis out the back. (And, if the scrotum was tight enough, it would soon stretch.) All the extra knobs and spikes in the world aren't going to fix this.

However, no chastity device is 100% secure because they can all be cut, or the padlocks broken. In the same way, no modern slavery contract is enforceable. In both cases, what keeps you in bondage is a  psychological barrier that diverts you from transgression.

I wouldn't take my dick out in public - my brain just doesn't go there. In the same way, I wouldn't disobey my mistress while in slave mode, and I wouldn't take my cock out of the locked chastity device.

How is this different from self imposed device-free chastity? The device is pleasant to wear when not hard, but impossible to pull out of when you do have an erection. In other words, security increases as willpower decreases. It's also a reminder for those unconscious moments when your hand drifts to your dick; "No go, not yours, hands off!"

I certainly enjoy being locked more than I would enjoy device-free chastity. For me, part of the fun of Femdom is not exercising willpower.

To this end, I am tinkering with a simple security fix not involving spikes or piercings. Of this, more later.

For spicing up your sex life with some male chastity, see my Femdom self-help guides....

Thursday, 27 June 2013

A dominatrix's vulnerability - don't do this at home!

Fern's has written a wonderful post on what it feels like to be the dominatrix in seemingly trivial domestic situations. Her sub has run out of toilet roll. She wants him to fetch some but...
“Really?” he asked, “But it’s *snowing*!” [Hmmm... okay is he really resisting, or just needing a push?]“Yes, really,” I said. [A little push.]“What?!! Come on!” [I try to read him. He is half kidding with this over-the-top response, I can feel it. I'm pretty sure he will do it, even if he is pushing back...]
Skip over and read the rest of Fern's post - it's awesome, as are the comments.

Now, consider the circumstances. Ferns is a self-identified dominatrix, so the power balance within the relationship is about 50/50. If she pushes him too hard, or in the wrong way, then she may lose the sub.

If you have persuaded your existing partner to turn vanilla dominatrix, then your situation is different.

 "...for all matters domestic you need to think like a s
tereotype pre-Feminist housewife..."
(pic source)
Both my Femdom self help books focus on the idea of what's in it for her?

If she's not kinky, she can still enjoy owning a slave in the same way Roman ladies enjoyed owning male slaves; guilt free domestic service plus massages with happy endings can be a pretty strong proposition.

This falls down as soon as she has to second guess herself before sending you out to buy toilet roll!

Yes, if she wants some heavy BDSM action, or hits your triggers, you need negotiation and safe words. However, for all matters domestic you need to think like a stereotype pre-Feminist housewife.

The vanilla dominatrix project only works if you accept the risks of authentic slavery; in any given session, you may be bored, uncomfortable, sad, or frustrated.

In the long run it will be worth it...

For more on Femdom for vanilla wives and girlfriends,  see my Femdom self-help guides....