Showing posts with label future kink. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future kink. Show all posts

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

What will Future Femdom be like?

I stand by my statement that "Femdom has no history".

The dominatrix has a history. She goes back to Summerian times at least. However, she was nicely shrink-wrapped and fire-walled in her temple precinct.

So if you insist, then, yes, Female Domination has a history, a tradition, but not the Female Dominant style of relationships. And since we can use "Femdom" to mean "a female dominant", I take that to be the core meaning:

Femdom: A relationship and/or erotic style in which the woman, her desires and needs, dominates.

What about Femdom's future history?

Thursday, 2 June 2016

The DickBug - the simple digital device that will transform male chastity

 The elephant in the room of male chastity is that, without piercings, male chastity devices don't actually work. I mean, we can slip our dicks out the back if we really want. Yes, mostly we don't want. Even so, there's something nice for us about being securely locked, and our keyholders may appreciate the certainty. Trust is good, but it's nice not to have to.

A while back, I described a complicated device called the DickBit which would have a lot in common with the legendary DreamLover2000.

However, it doesn't need to be that complicated!

An easy win for somebody with access to the right electronic design skills would be the DickBug.

The DickBug is a simple ring that integrates with a ball-gripper chastity device.

It comprises:
  • Two pulse-rate sensors, left and right.
  • A red LED
  • A reset button only accessible if you unlock the chastity device and remove the DickBug.
If both sensors don't read the same pulse, then the warning light starts flashing. 

Having two sensors means that if you pull out but jam your fingers in, you are really unlikely to get a good pulse on both.

So: no WiFi or Blue Tooth, no big batteries or need for a girdle. Just a DickBug.


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
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Friday, 29 January 2016

The DickBit, or how a digital device will help male chastity go mainstream

Male chastity has a lot to
offer the mainstream...
Male chastity has a lot to offer the mainstream (article here), but can't really become mainstream until male chastity devices actually work as male chastity devices!

At the moment, unless you have a piercing, the chastity device only really stays on because it creates a self-amplifying submissive feedback loop. You can also easily defeat it using a vibrator.

People have tried lots of different designs, but none of them really prevent pullout while soft. Nor do any of them stop the wearer getting off by using a vibrator.

So we need something different.

How about, instead of prevention, working on deterrence?

Here's where a digital device would fix everything. I've called it the DickBit and I should be very surprised if nobody was working on won. (Please feel free to use this name if you are, but I'd love a review copy.)

The Basic DickBit Chastity Enforcer

Obviously, there'd be an option to
have erections set back the
release time.
CLICK TO GET A STORY ABOUT THIS
The DickBit is a small digital device resembling a FitBit. It locks onto male chastity devices or is integrated with them. Depending on the model, it connects to other digital devices via mUSB, Bluetooth and WiFi.

The basic DickBit has the following:

  • Pulse Monitor - Detects pull out.
  • Vibration Monitor - Detects use of a vibrator.
  • Audio Alarm - Can be configured so that the monitors set it of. Various options include socially embarrassing messages or mood killing jingles. Only times out after an hour or so.
  • Visual Telltale - Triggered by the detectors. Red light winks until reset by keyholder.
  • Upload information to other devices for the keyholder.

This would meet the key requirements of all the typical vanilla uses for male chastity. The possibility of embarrassment would... encourage impulse control, so the device would work in the bedroom as a couple toy and also to prevent infidelity and private masturbation.

The upload feature would keep the key holder informed, making them feel reassured - if that's what they need - and acting as another layer of deterrent.

The Delux DickBit Chastity Enforcer

As an erotic novelist, I can think of some nice features I would add to a delux version:
  • Erection Monitor - Detects how hard you are. Possibly this could also detect ejaculation.
  • Settable Time Lock - This need not be a physical locking device; it could simply prevent the security features from deactivating. Obviously, there'd be an option to have erections set back the release time.
  • Micro Electric Shocker: Apparently this is now technically feasible. It could be set up so that the monitors trigger it.
  • Ink Bomb: A smaller version of what they use in retail. Pull-out triggers this one-use device, which sprays non-toxic indelible ink all over the wearer. If it could work reliably - false positives would be a problem! - then this would be very popular with self bondage enthusiasts, since for most practical purposes, they really would be stuck in their device until unlocked.

When is the DickBit Chastity Enforcer going to come?

It's feasible right now! The basic version would use components that already exist. 

It would still cost money to develop, though. So we have to wait until somebody thinks its worthwhile. Perhaps it'll be crowd funded like the Ambrosia Vibe ("world's first bionic strap-on that vibrates when touched").


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

How Female Led Relationships could go mainstream: #1 The implicit FLR is already mainstream

"She wears the trousers in that
marriage" is an old old joke.
The other day, a friend of ours who seems very much in charge of her marriage leaned over the cafe table and remarked, "You know, it's quite normal for one partner to be the driving force..."

And I realized that Female Led Relationships are almost mainstream.

Implicit (as in "assumed but not formally recognized") Female Led Relationships are certainly mainstream and probably always have been. "She wears the trousers  in that marriage" is an old old joke.

However, it's a joke that's quietly died. We're no longer shocked or amused by implicit FLR ("iFLR") or things that look like iFLR.

He's fixing dinner for his wife who just
got in from work...NORMAL.
Some of my favorite retro-FLR pictures were intended as funny or shocking; dire warnings about women getting above themselves and dominating men.

However, if recreated using modern clothing, they would be perfectly unremarkable:


He's doing the washing while
she goes out for a cycle
ride.... NOT SHOCKING
.
He's fixing dinner for his wife who just got in from work...NORMAL. He's doing the washing while she goes out for a cycle ride.... NOT SHOCKING.

We'd just assume they had a modern equal marriage and it suited them that he did these chores while she did others at other times.

If somebody then said, "Oh he only works part-time and she is the primary earner," we'd think it natural he have a meal ready for her on the table.

And if we knew that, "He does a lot of chores to support her bicycle racing hobby," we'd probably think how lucky he was to have a hot athletic wife.

...if recreated using modern clothing,
they would be perfectly unremarkable
If we did notice that both relationships revolved around the wife, we'd confine ourselves to remarking. "I think she tends to make the big decisions." Or, "I think she's the one with the vision in that relationship."

In other words, we're neither surprised not threatened by iFLRs.

At the root is Feminism which pervades our worldview even if we are neither liberal nor identify as Feminist. We simply assume that men and women are morally and legally equal, even if we might point to differences between the genders.

From this Feminist default come several developments.

 Go further back and there was the
legally sanctioned scold's bridle.
First, in the modern west, iFLR is now physically safer for a woman than it ever has been.

Back in the bad old days--even a few decades ago--the marriage could swing into asymmetry and then the man could have an attack of machismo and beat up his "shrewish/nagging" wife and nobody would look down on him for it. The law would probably wink and move on. Go further back and there was the legally sanctioned scold's bridle!

Now, though they still exist, society looks down on wife-beaters and -- at least in the UK -- the police feel pressure to act on domestic violence.

Second, educated men no longer see any shame in letting a woman take the lead in any particular activity. Not only does this add to the physical safety, it also makes it possible for a woman to express her leadership in a particular area without triggering a marital spat. If she can express her leadership in one area, then she can also do so in others.

Third, educated men no longer regard housework as woman's work. It's just what needs doing and the only question is how to divide the labor and who sets the standards.

Finally, people no longer look down on -- let's call them -- asymmetric relationships. We learned in the 1970s and 80s that equality down the middle in all spheres usually doesn't work in practice. One partner will be better at cooking or finances or cleaning or nurturing or bread-winning than the other. We accept that people find the relationship dynamic that they like and that this usually involves dividing labor and with that division of labor comes a division of power.

So, we're already not far from mainstream. Being mainstream certainly wouldn't look much different, except there would be no pretense that the husband wasn't serving the wife, and courtship would be easier because we could actually say, "I am in/looking for an FLR."

What would it take for the world to change such that our friend could lean across the table and remark, "I notice that you are in an FLR like us"?

Part two...


When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Monday, 25 August 2014

Public Displays of Dynamic: What if Female Led Relationships were socially acceptable?

an ultra-politically correct future where...
couples in Female Led Relationships could
be open about it.
Just imagine, an ultra-politically correct future where Domination and Submission was recognized as an orientation, and where couples in Female Led Relationships could be open about it.

OK.

Now stop fapping and imagine it more realistically!

It wouldn't be much different from the way things are now, would it? Even so it would be an improvement.

Think about the ultimate mainstream relationship, the vanilla peer relationship, call it VPR.

What's socially acceptable and what's not for VPR folk? Let's use that as a guide:

What's not going to happen is public Femdom
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
What's not going to happen is public Femdom.

VPR couples don't generally do sexuality in public. They don't heavy pet on street corners, nor do they do sensual back rubs in the restaurant or have sex on park benches.

Now the natural sexuality of FLR couples is Femdom, so in the same way it won't be sociably acceptable to do Femdom in public.

As people become more accepting of FLR they will also become more aware of Femdom. They'll understand a boot is the equivalent of a boob and a collar as good as a cock ring in certain circumstances. So, no leaving husbands chained outside shops, no public whipping posts, no spending the day shopping dressed as a transvestite latex puppy, no greeting mistress by kissing her boots in the High Street.

Not going to happen.

It's not that people will be prudes, it's just that nobody want's somebody's sexuality rubbed in their faces.

Public displays of FLR affection, however are entirely plausible mostly because it will be impossible to tell what's happening.

The FLR woman will always have the initiative...
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
When a VPR couple kiss and -- if young/drunk/in love -- caress in public they're both in control, or passing the initiative back and forth.

The only difference an FLR makes is that the woman will be calling the shots. She may be physically passive while her lover worships her, or physically invasive while he squirms in hopeless arousal. T

he same goes for in relaxed social situations when they flirt or engage in public coziness, e.g. one uses the other's lap as a footstool. The FLR woman will always have the initiative, but you'd have to observe many many episodes in order to spot the underlying dynamic.

All this already happens. Really FLRs being mainstream won't make much difference at all to the way we pursue our sexuality and display our affection. However, there are two areas where it will make a massive difference...

First, public displays of dynamic.

At present, VPR couples openly display their dynamic, flaunting the way they name decisions through negotiation and consensus, showing off the way they look after each other, playfully trading favors.

It would be nice if FLR couples could also display our dynamic, if the women could publicly have the final word, be waited on, playfully misuse her authority and without feeling like a shrew or a bitch, and her partner could be compliant without feeling like a doormat or henpecked husband.

Imagine if she could just say, "Fetch me some coffee," or, "Serve the drinks" and that would be OK?

Second, courting.

If people knew what FLR was, if it was socially acceptable, if it didn't automatically imply heavy Femdom or haunting BDSM clubs and munches, then the world would be a much better place.

 ...people would know who they were and act accordingly.
For a start, people would know who they were and act accordingly. No odd groping through destructive relationships for young submissive men. No wavering between bastards who stand up to them and doormats who don't for young dominant women, and more young women would identify as dominant earlier.

It would also be easier to find appropriate partners. Rather than engage in a diabolical guessing game with the worry of accidentally playing bait and switch, we'd simply take note of whatever the dress codes were: perhaps certain kinds of jewelry would signal orientation.

Finally, just like VPR courting, FLR courting would have an established path, with boundaries and bases. Subs would be aware of their hard limits and expect to see them respected, dommes would know the standard path to intimacy: Do you do Femdom on a first date? At what point does she take control of his orgasms? And so on.

It wouldn't all be plain sailing. There'd be odd double standards among parents who might wish an FLR on their daughters, but not their sons, or regard an FLR son-in-law as a parasite: why can't you get yourself a real man? Raising a family within an openly FLR household will also present all sorts of dilemmas.

But we're talking about the future here, something we'll evolve our way towards. The question remains how we'll make the jump.


Don't resign yourself to just reading other people's Femdom adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Thursday, 3 April 2014

6 things I'd like to see in the Holy Trainer 3

So far my experience of the Holy Trainer 2 has been fantastic! It's a lockable second skin that doesn't let you get an erection.

However, there is technology I'd love to see in the Holy Trainer 3. Here it is in reverse order of plausibility.

  1. More sizes!
    Especially smaller. 
  2. More colors!
    Especially realistic skin tones.
  3. Regular plastic if that's tougher!
    Though it's nice, there's no need to bother with the bio-resin. Plastic is fine as long as its tough.
  4. Built-in time lock! 
    Nice if this were clockwork, but digital would do. This would get around the whole self bondage shenanigans, and also be great fun for the key-holder since a sentence would be irrevocable.
  5. Pull-out detector!
    No ball trap device can be 100% secure without piercings. However, it must be possible to devise something that detects pullout. This could be as simple as a spring-loaded button that blocks the tube if you pull your dick out, or as complicated as an electronic gizmo that beeps and flashes randomly and doesn't stop until the device is unlocked.
  6. Blue-tooth bio monitor telemetry thingy!
    Let's have a magic button that provides telemetry to the keyholders, especially detecting tumescence and emission.

However, while I'm waiting for the future to come along, I'll "enjoy" my Holy Trainer 2.

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?

Thursday, 23 January 2014

4 predictions for kink in the next 5 years

 "Electronically Enhanced Chastity
and BDSM devices"
Just came across a nice post about the future of kink. Here are my predictions in order of likelihood...

1. Escape proof male chastity cage

This is a no-brainer. There's already one easy short-term security solution using pubic hair. We're seeing new materials emerging all the time. All that's needed is a glue pad that sticks safely to skin. It doesn't have to act as an anchor--the skin too easily shears away--just a tether.

Alternatively, it would be fairly straightforward to equip a chastity device with an electronic detection system that went off when the wearer pulled out. Even a simple pressure sensor would act as a deterrent because even if you could fool it getting out, getting back in would be complicated.

2. Electronically Enhanced Chastity and BDSM devices

We're already seeing this with the somewhat clunky Dreamlover device (which I would buy if i could afford!). As electronics get smaller and easier, we'll see more remote shockers, more semi-automated sub management devices based on things like heart rate monitors and skin sensors.

Specific things I expect in male chastity devices are:


2. Chastity devices accepted as marital tools

People will probably never accept drooling kink in the open, but I bet there will be a tacit acceptance of male chastity devices as a way of ensuring fidelity or breaking internet porn habits, or just as a spice. I think this is already happening. This, of course, will mask a whole load of real drooling kink.

(The reason I put this second is that it really does require escape proof devices in order to happen.)

3. Female and Male led marriages will become acceptable

Bedroom details embarrasses people. However, emotional arrangements are easily rationalized or filed away as a fact and then more or less lose their significance. We've seen gay relationships becoming mainstream, we're seeing the slow emergence of polyamory as an acceptable choice.

There's also a new pragmatism about relationships. People understand that long term monogamy is difficult and that there are all sorts of evolutionary psychological undertows. People are also more aware that couples fall into FLR and MLR by default anyway -- we see this happening in the series Suburgatory.

So, though I don't see lifestyle Femdom or Maledom ever becoming mainstream--bedroom details!--I think we will see politically correct and alt circles gradually accept first FLR then, grudgingly. MLR.

4. Chaste accepted as an orientation

Again, in PC circles, we see an obsession with a taxonomy of orientations--not just gay or straight, but a-sexual, poly-sexual and on on. I think there's room for chaste in this lot...

Why not embrace the future and use my books to introduce some Femdom to your relationship..?