Tuesday 24 May 2016

What do you get out of locking up your man's cock? Three real benefits of male chastity...

"Blah blah blah
[disingenuous claim here]"
 
Male Subs! Learn how to ask more 
persuasively without being a dick
Men who want to be locked in a chastity device can talk a lot of crap:


"I'm weak and have a porn/sex/masturbation addiction!" 
"My cock is too little to serve you!" 
"I'll be a better husband!" 
"Blah blah blah [disingenuous claim here]" 

Yawn.

The gut response is usually one of irritation: "OMG I hope you're not like that!" or "You should be doing these things anyway!"

So here I am, a man with a chastity fetish, setting out why you - a woman (or gay man, actually) - might like to keep your partner's cock locked in one of those devices.

Why should you take me any more seriously?

Mostly because I have nothing to gain by convincing you - I'm already locked up by my wife, and she likes it so much she's the one pushing me into 24/7 wear.

I am also aware of you looking over my shoulder, ready to throw up your hands in disbelief.

So I'm going to be as honest as I can be. Read on...

Sunday 22 May 2016

When is it OK to wear my male chastity device? (The Ethics of 24/7 Wear Part 1)

http://www.femdomartists.com/femdom-humor/male-chastity/locked-adamantium-chastity-belt
When it is OK to wear your 
chastity device?(source)
Male chastity is in the mainstream media, but not in the way we'd want...
"Surgeon sent naked pictures of himself to dominatrix from work and boasted of wearing chastity belt as he operated on patients"
Daily MailD
I take the story with a pinch of salt.

He seems to have taken chastity selfies at work, but not necessarily in the operating theatre. He was obviously enjoying the services of an internet dominatrix, but just because he seems to have said the device was distracting to her, doesn't mean it was in reality. We simply don't know the truth.

However, I do often wear my chastity device 24/7 and this case has set me thinking about the ethics of it.

When it is OK to wear your chastity device?

What people know doesn't hurt them... unless it actually hurts them. So can I suggest three cast iron rules:

Iron Rule #1: Do not wear your chastity device when it has a high chance of upseting the innocent.

No our fetish - or is it an orientation? - isn't radioactive, but it is like an erection: personal and sexual, and people have the right not to have their faces rubbed in it. Don't wear your device to a family nude beach. Don't flaunt it in the gym locker rooms - unless it's that kind of gym. Don't... And so on.

(Yes, there is an argument that chastity is an orientation and that we have a right to be ourselves, but in the absence of a Male Chastity Liberation movement to educate the public, it seems needless and counter-productive to flaunt the tackle around our tackle.)

Iron Rule #2: Do not wear your chastity device if it will distract you in ways that are dangerous for you and others.

If wearing a chastity device is like wearing a vibrator would, then the rules are similar. You wouldn't drive with a vibrator attached to your dick, would you? So don't drive while chaste if the device is stimulating you in some way. And if you are a surgeon, please don't operate on anybody in that state.

(Yes, OK, vanilla folk get distracted too - by a nice pair of legs, for example. However they don't set out to be distracted right out of the box, and nor should you. And yes, quite often wearing a chastity device is more like having a secret piercing, in which case this rule does not apply.)

Iron Rule #3: Do not wear your chastity device it it stops you being yourself.

If you can't routinely do something you should be doing while wearing the device, routinely remove the device for that activity.

I won't give the obvious examples of social and family obligations incompatible with chastity wear because I don't want to invite the wrong sort of search engine traffic. However, if - say - wrestling is part of your life, and you can't wrestle in your device, then remove the device for wrestling.

(Sure, it's OK to avoid an activity while enjoying an occasional chastity marathon, but we should hold onto the fact that chastity isn't the only or most important aspect of our authentic self.)

I think there's more to it than that because there's also the knotty problem of how we feel about how we treat other people, even when they don't know what we are doing. That's for another article... 


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Friday 20 May 2016

And another ten days of 24/7 chastity in my Custom Chastity Ghost

"I feel as if I am standing
on the edge of an abyss."
I'm on day 10 of 24/7 male chastity. I'm also approaching 90 days without an orgasm.

Every night when I ask Xena, "Shall I stay locked up?" she says "Yes." There are no issues with the device - no chafing, no pinching, no problems with cleaning - so I guess she can keep extending things until my orgasm day arrives.

However all it takes is a weight-loss violation or an orgasm for her, and that too will recede.

I feel as if I am standing on the edge of an abyss.


Practical Information

Unlike my first chastity marathon with this device, I went in with no pre-existing chafing or skin damage. As far as I can tell, the device hasn't caused any new damage.

I am not using any lubricant or lotion. The device doesn't need it, and without it grips the skin so firmly that I can do naked star-jumps. Similarly, morning wood isn't a problem.

Hygiene is fine. I can shower and dry and keep clean, especially because there's no need for lotion.

It really is invisible under normal clothes and also doesn't restrict my movements. During the last ten days I have met with clients, socialised - even gone to the pub - and kept up regular exercise.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Sunday 15 May 2016

Why the Femdom dating scene is often so crap - the numbers

I've observed this for a few years now. A Canadian study suggests that the real ratio is potentially 1:1, but (male) subs report really crappy ratios in the BDSM dating scene, and dommes have difficulty getting dates with men they actually like.

Several things are going on, I think:
  1. Not all the kinky people are around on the scene.
  2. For (probably cultural reasons) men tend to be greater sexual risk takers than women, so more men than women are "active" about their kink, and thus more subs end up on the Scene.
  3. Since there are plenty of subs around, "active" dommes may pair off without ever coming near the Scene.
The end result looks roughly like this:
  • 25% of potential dommes remain inactive (for cultural or confidence reasons). 
  • 50% pair off permanently with a sub without appearing in the Scene. 
  • 25% of dommes end up in the Scene
Meanwhile:
  • A tiny percentage of male subs remain inactive. 
  • 50% pair off without reaching the Scene. 
  • 50% end up looking for a domme in the Scene. 
So that gives you a 2:1 ratio "in favour" of dommes.

It gets worse.

If half the dommes are monogamous (or in poly arrangements that cancel out dommes and subs equally), then that rises to 3:1.

My impression is that this is actually bloody awful for both parties.
  • The male subs are so collectively desperate that they lose sight of other compatibility needs, become entitled, and resort to "numbers game" tactics - all self defeating.
  • The end result is that scene dommes find the signal to noise ratio overwhelming.
Conclusion: I'm very glad to be married to my mistress!
Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)

Wednesday 4 May 2016

10 more (unremarkable) days of 24/7 Chastity

I just completed ten more days of 24/7 lockup in my Custom Chastity customized "Ghost".

There's really not much to say.

I wore it to do sport, jog, socialise, shower, sleep...

It was pretty much like a second skin, or exoskeleton, and no more intrusive than having slightly bigger genitals.

This time, I had no existing damage when I went into the adventure, and had no problem with chafing.

On removal, I found a pink polished spot on the underside where my dick had rubbed against the ring. This vanished after a few hours and I'm confident I could have gone to 14 days.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
(For ebook format, 
Lulu or iTunes.)