Sunday, 25 May 2014

A glimpse of permanent chastity: 113 days without an orgasm!

Permanent chastity is one of my favorite fantasies.

Now, somehow, I've passed the 100 day mark and sailed on into my second orgasm-free hundred days and there's no end it sight. It's no longer about a certain time span. Instead, Xena just likes me chaste.

So though it's not formally permanent chastity, it's certainly indefinite. It's certainly given me an insight into my fantasy.

A month ago, over on the Reddit Permanent Chastity Forum, I responded to a "what's attractive about permanent chastity thread" and "dfwdf" commented:
70 days, wow.
If you still remember at this point, around what day did you start leaking? Did your libido ever reach a level where your willpower broke, but the device held? When did it "peak" for you, and can you describe your mental state now that you've had time to "level back out" again?
First let me say I am not in my device 24/7. It comes off for socializing, running and the gym. However it's chastity not denial because it lasts until Xena releases me. She doesn't deny me on an orgasm-by-orgasm basis, not is my penis ever out for erotic activity.

At this stage it just feels like my life.

It started as something I did as a lead-in to a period of Femdom. Seventeen days in, I reported:
It's been easier than I thought.
Mental adjustment helped me to enjoy the sensual benefits.
Consciously, I let the feelings of lust come and go, acknowledge the hungry tingle in my groin, but don't engage with it (though it seems to give me energy).
Unconsciously... well, after a while - so I've read - your unconscious gets with the program and backs up any specific and practical conscious decisions you've made. Timelocks and anti-pullout systems are pretty decisive, and my unconscious has just given in.
However, what really made it easy was that more than ever before chastity and denial is a real act of submission on my part.
Xena long ago she admitted that she prefers me chaste in bed. Recently, she's also confessed to finding my longer term "plight" amusing and pleasing.
Since she sort of took control over my orgasms, I also detect a certain relish in her intimate power over me. (Not being kinky, I think she expected Sadism to feel different from other emotions, but of course it's not.)
Even without the sensual pleasures and submissive satisfaction, the denial and subsequent chastity has been worthwhile because it provides a foundation for our dynamic. It demonstrates to Xena that I really am serious about this and capable of making myself "suffer" and also ensures that however vanilla our interactions are - since I am time-locked into a chastity cage - I'm always at a disadvantage.
This hasn't really changed. After an initial couple of weeks of twitchiness I just settled into the existence.

  • I'm rewired. If I'm horny I crave going doing on Xena or receiving a beating, both of which make me leak enough to get some release. 
  • There's no peak. However I'm now as responsive as I was as a teenager. Just touching Xena's feet when I massage her gets me hard and drippy.
  • I have no desire to be released (which is a bit scary when I think about it hard, but absolutely true. If it was practical I would find it very hard to refuse to have a device fixed on permanently.)
How is this possible? 

I am a submissive, and it's what Xena wants. I enjoy the plateau sensations anyway. And it's a constant connection to the woman I love.


Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

38 comments:

  1. With all due respect, why would you be willing to give up the ability to have an orgasm FOREVER? It is one of the privileges of being an adult! In addition, part of the fun of chastity is looking forward to the next orgasm!

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    1. I know, weird isn't it?
      I think some people - me included - like the experience of chastity and aren't interested in release once locked.

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    2. oh my god your awesome

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  2. When I found your blog entry I wanted to add that I am a pretty ordinary guy and my wife and I began to play with orgasm denial a few years back. Our intimacy seemed to be getting boring, probably because we have been married for a long time. My wife was a hard sell on it but we decided to try and I began to wear a chastity device. When I got used to it I handed over the keys. I think our feelings might be similar to what you expressed as my wife seems to like me locked and denied and I do as well. We are not in a formal WLF but certainly my wife ultimately runs things and gets the last word especially since she holds those keys. I agree that there is something erotic and attractive about me being at a "disadvantage" and feeling some constant level of frustration. I do not want to relate more but I think I understand what you are relating. Our play is consensual and that makes it more erotic but who knows if it is permanent.

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    1. Thanks! People like us are far more common than it would seem.

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  3. There are probably many men who enjoy chastity. What I also enjoy is that is gives me a chance to give back to my wife. She was always there as a partner and since we both like this arrangement I don't mind being denied, especially considering the other fun and erotic attention I do get and that she gets.

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  4. I posted in January of 2017 to add that my wife and I enjoy orgasm denial for me. After more than months I finally got an orgasm. My cb went right back on. We discussed where we might take this, concerns, and what we liked. I guess the general conclusion is that my wife will be experiencing many orgasms in the future, while I will be experiencing fewer orgasms. Perhaps prostate milking might be something we will also look into at some point. If we did it I really wonder if I would get any more orgasms at all.

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    1. Funny isn't it? For some couples, chastity is a perfect storm.

      (So sorry I missed this one earlier. The blog holds anonymous comments for moderation.)

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  5. I enjoy the "perfect storm" description. It is an interesting choice of words. Since chastity play is consensual and we both enjoy it, we will continue. My wife has concerns about denying me endlessly or milking that I won't relate here, so we're going to try to move ahead with me mostly getting an occasional ruined orgasms enforced with wearing the cb. She's the boss in this area. I will have plenty of frustration and feelings of being at a "disadvantage" to look forward to.

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  6. Giles
    My wife and I still enjoy orgasm denial. And it does make me act more submissive. I finally got a ruined orgasm after months of being denied, though it was more to a full orgasm. I got the welcomed news that an orgasm was going to be allowed last weekend, and i was told about it before we went to a birthday party. For me, it was a party that seemed to go on forever. My wife drove the car home; I was thankful because I was thinking about other things obviously. But when we got home it was early and there were some tasks for me to do followed by a long teasing session and lots of kisses from my wife (lol). She warned me about waiting until she said it was ok to orgasm and I was so frustrated I begged and pleaded until the moment arrived. What a great nights sleep too. Of course i did feel her hairbrush in the morning because I rushed her to leave the party. That's doesn't happen very often. Life is good.

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    1. Giles
      You are welcome. My wife is exerting more control now but we are both happy. She’s told me it’s time for a haircut and make sure I “go this week. Not too long.” And she’s decided to drive more when we go places together. “Yes Dear” was my response.

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    2. It's interesting that kink isn't really kink - that once power is real and permitted, people often just roll with it.

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    3. I agree Giles. A power exchange is an interesting thing to be a part of, which seems more fun and naughty to us because nobody in the way of family members or friends have a clue. My wife taking over more of the driving makes me feel submissive. Also being told to get a short haircut was a surprise because she always liked me to wear a bit longer hair. That made submissive feelings come to the surface.

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    4. There is a PS to this. My wife asked me today if I liked a shorter haircut. It is much shorter than usual. I told her “yes dear.” She smiled and said i was lucky that I hadn’t complained. If I had she said my next haircut might have been a “radical” one. It does make me wonder if I might be eventually told to get a close shave.

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  7. Giles
    My wife and I talked a little yesterday after work. She is not hardcore. In fact, she began this whole dynamic with me initially to increase passion. I told her I felt getting my head shaved is definitely a radical and erotic thing. She said since I do not have a corporate job image to consider she was actually thinking about it but also thought it was mean and will not compel me to do it (she’s already stingy with me getting orgams, but thats more of an agreement between us at this point and does not come from being mean). But she still might ask and it would be my decision ultimately. When I get to the point where I need another haircut, then is when she might make the request And I will surprise her one way or the other. I imagine she would be shocked if I got shaved.

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  8. Giles,
    I admitted to my wife that I was thinking of getting my head shaved both to please and surprise her and to satisfy an urge I’ve had. She was surprised and said that since the weather is cold in our part of the country I will wait for warmer weather in the spring.Then the barber can do the job. My wife may go to “enjoy” the shave, but there may not be much to report until then. I think my wife is getting what she wants.

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  9. Giles,
    I’m actually amazed that my wife is willing to bargain with me and even say “oh please try” about leaving on my chastity device indefinitely. She’s even threatened to think about stopping as a key holder and disciplinarian! We talked about it last night and again today. I’ve begged her not to pursue it or at least let me think about it more. I’m nervous from the pressure actually, so she’s willing to wait. As it is I’ve found I’ve given up much, including the hair in my head, to play a chastity game. I’ll see where it ends.

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    1. I enjoyed my 11 months sealed in. It was excellent for our relationship. Try using a friendly plastic rivet.

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  10. Giles
    I don’t know if an earlier comment made it through but my wife and I talked like adults and equals. We both like chastity play and talking put me more at ease. So I agreed to longer lockup periods this year. I guess I had to. You know, consensual permanent denial for me is actually something my wife thought about in the back of her mind with there being plenty of teasing, and then right back into the chastity device. I’m intrigued as well although I can’t figure out why exactly. That would be an incredible extreme. We both have concerns about potential issues from it. We have no immediate plans for that. My wife was happy I agreed though. She kissed the top of my head when I said ok, and said, “Yuk! Stubble. No stubble. Take care of it.” lol. So she’s back to the Dominant role. I made an appointment for this afternoon for a shave. She made an appointment for herself at the salon for next week. She said, “Don’t forget your cap when you go.”

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    1. Yes the other comment got through. I'm enjoying following your adventures. We are both lucky malesubs!
      PS Please sign your posts in some way so we all know it's you.

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    2. Thanks. I’m amazed that my marriage can be so normal or maybe the word is typical for a long stretch of time. Then things shift to an extreme where I’m seriously talking about and considering long or permanent denial. If I was asked whether just a decade ago my wife or I would be here to this point I think we’d both say “no”.
      GL

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  11. Giles,
    Not sure if this comment is a duplicate but I agreed to a denial period of six months, which is twice as long as I ever waited before and which will start soon. Unless I experience serious issues of some kind my wife is not giving in on an early release. I do face punishment for giving her pushback on longer denial times, though it seems unfair because she told me to let her know if I had any concerns or objections. When I told her that she told me “don’t make it worse, I’m boss.” So she’s going to enjoy keeping me “chaste and bald” as she said a few times. I’ll be released a few weeks before summer vacation, but comment on how things progress. GL

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    1. Ah, I thin you've run into that thing where a vanilla-to-domme isn't really interested in BDSM consent culture. Enjoy.

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  12. Giles,
    One afterthought. As I’m about to begin 6 months of denial by consent I observe that my wife has never been happier. And me too. Given my wife’s age it was incredible that while we were being intimate (I’m unrestricted the 15th), she laughed and moaned like she was in her 20s. Knowing I’ll be locked away enhanced our pleasure. I’m sure she wouldn’t force me but would love it if “6 months” was substituted with the word “permanently”. GL

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    1. Giles
      I began denial February 15th. No fanfare or big ceremony. My wife just said,’”This lasts until August 15th my dear.” I said, “Yes, I agree.” She has been making this easier on me. We went out to lunch later in the day and went on an online shopping excursion. My wife bought me two nice gifts: a new shaver and a collectible I wanted. I had already given her a Valentines Day gift she really liked. My wife is a nice person and as you probably know about these things, we’ve become open to indulging each other’s kinks and interests.
      Thanks
      GL

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  13. Giles
    My wife started teasing me, while I was restrained and then gently squeezing the head of my penis when I got close to an orgasm. This works to stop my orgasm well. Last night she managed to do this for an hour as an alarm ticked away. What felt wonderful turned into absolutely wonderful turned into incredible intimate agony, though good agony. She was taking me up to the point of orgasm then stopping it over and over. Then I had to be locked afterwards. Her latest idea or challenge is to see just how long I could go having stimulation like this going night after night and just to the point that I would absolutely blow like a volcano. She believes I could go for months if I was teased only. It did bring us closer. I already pleasure her in other ways.

    A question: Have you ever heard of this?
    GL

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  14. Giles
    I’m glad to see there was activity on your blog and see my March 9th comment was posted. I hope you and your wife are fine given the virus crisis. Now I’m getting close to three months without an orgasm, and denial began February 15th. My wife said she now wants to celebrate my three months of denial with a nice dinner of my favorite food and wine. I’m not surprised she talked about celebrating my chastity because she’s been talking about definitely making it a long term, open ended arrangement right along. She’s been teasing me and I have tried to tell her I’d even settle for a ruined orgasm sometime soon, but she says, “Right now I’m pro-my orgasm and anti-your orgasm. Remember what I like for you, “bald and chaste, bald and chaste” and if you do well get along fine.”
    GL

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  15. My wife has not stopped teasing me every moment possible since we are both working home. I get very horny easily and my wife thinks nothing of sensually licking an ice cream cone right in front of me and clinically taking about the difference between male and female orgasms. She asked me the date of my last orgasm. She asked me if she thought I could hold out if she’d ok an orgasm. She told me I could orgasm anytime but I’d be breaking my word and ruining chastity and D/s play. She rubbed my head and my chastity device and told me I’d have hair and be getting orgasms if it wasn’t because of her. It was driving me crazy and horny. I couldn’t sleep in the same bedroom tonight because I was so turned on and moved to a guest room.

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  16. Giles,
    My wife and I finished up working early and she put on a nasty face, taking a cane to me with a couple of very hard strokes. They were warnings to make sure I understand who’s boss and who’s calling the shots. She’s done a 180 now. She doesn’t want to hear the “O” word this weekend. I don’t think I brought up the subject much at all. She said if I ever want to orgasm I better get used to liking how things are now, and begin to offer to pleasure her more. I’ve been told tonight she wants me to orally pleasure his butt. She also said if things get back to normal we’ll get a queening chair since she plans to keep my tongue busy, especially if I expect orgasms eventually. She ordered me to make tea, and then go do something like watch tv or something. I’ll be called if I’m wanted.
    GL

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  17. Giles,
    Last night my wife surprised me. She made another shift. We were having coffee and she asked me, “Do you have any aches from not cumming?” I told her “No” and she said, “We’re having fun. Why not stay chaste now? You’ll eventually orgasm involuntarily.” I said, “No. I really want to orgasm normally, at some point.” My wife said, “I get it. You want to drain.” I was rather amazed at her choice of wording as in “drain”, and that brief conversation had me wanting to drain though it passed. I guess it’s a mind game too, but I wanted to get away from the news and changed the channel. Naturally there were attractive women and I switched back to news to avoid becoming turned on.
    GL

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  18. Giles
    My wife cooked me a great meal and got around to telling me what she really wants to try as far as my chastity. She knows permanently denied is just unrealistic for me. So my wife wants to upgrade to a top of a line chastity device and wants me to consider getting a PA piercing even though I’m older. She is figuring on allowing an orgasm every 4 months, or working up to it. I would handle the chores like now, continue my job, she will continue her job, and she would reward me with prostate stimulation and be generous on things I like such as sport collectibles. I’d be the one with the newest car as an ongoing perk. She wants to be mistress though outsiders and family members will be clueless. She said my cock will weep for her and she’d be happy enough to always maintain a happy marriage image.
    GL

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    1. Giles,
      I agreed to what my wife has proposed. It will take time for me to reach the point she would like, I asked her to please give me at least a few surprise orgasms over the course of a year given 4 months is a long time to regularly endure between orgasms. A ritual of an acknowledgement that she is the boss will be formally put together and my wife is writing all the terms of our agreement. There’s going to be teases for me but for pleasure and she will go easy.
      GL

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  19. Giles,
    So Lynn figured out the orgasms schedule for the year. I get an orgasm sometime in May, August, December and then starting in 2021 the schedule is every four months as the norm with some anal stimulation. This is the transition schedule because I had freedom in February and orgasms will go to three per year next year. Lynn will adjust where she thinks we need to. By then we’ll decide about a me getting a piercing. Before we turned in she gave me four wicked strokes of the cane as a reminder and sent me to lay on the carpet. She wasn’t in the mood for intimacy, only to verbally put me down about agreeing to live under such mean orgasm restrictions and about keeping my head shaved “like a good submissive should so his wife knows he’s willing to do things for her and sacrifice.” Once she was asleep I could quietly get into bed.

    If you can recommend a really secure device that works well without a piercing it would be great, I guess, since I can’t believe I said it.
    Thanks
    GL

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    1. I like my Custom Chastity Saint. They do a piercing version that has a sliding hook, which seems like really good idea.

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  20. Giles,
    I heard something amazing that I was going to tell you about and ask you about. My wife confirmed that I will have an orgasm May 31. I wish it was sooner. I’m leaking like an old faucet. She teased me so badly the other evening she had to place the cane right next to her so it would be handy if I started to orgasm. That was a perfect deterrent being tied up and naked because I didn’t want to get strokes nude. She said she was amazed I’ve been able to hold off since mid February, which was the last time I had an orgasm. She said, “If I cut back on the teasing at the halfway mark, you shouts easily be able to be denied for four months.” I said, “You might think it’s easy, but it isn’t. When you have me down to three orgasms a year, it’s going to be sheer torment for me. Please give me a few surprise orgasms.” She said, “If you like chastity you shouldn’t be looking for surprises. But we’ll see. I’m not promising anything. Your cock will get sensitive with or without surprises I’m sure.” I was actually excited and also disappointed. She enjoys my situation far too much. The scary thing is I do too. I have no doubt my wife would make me be permanently chaste if she could.
    GL

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