Become Her Slave!

My once-vanilla wife now loves keeping me as her chaste slave. Learn how to get some Femdom in your life too!

Monday, 28 November 2011

Background music for the Vanilla Dominatrix

My visits into slavery are warm but dark, like being outside on a Winter's night when you can see the firelight flickering from other people's windows. This music - Moonoght Sonata - hits the nail on the head for me:

Would we ever have it on during a session?


While I'm wallowing in darkness, she's enjoying chilled out "me time".

This  - Mary Black - is more likely to be on the iPod:

That asynchronicity is at the heart of Vanilla Femdom: her mostly "vanilla" choices generate kink for him. If the theme music contrasts, then it's working as it's supposed to.

Better yet, he's on the outside looking in at the warmth. How deliciously dark is that?

Friday, 25 November 2011

Newish chastity device, "Dick Cage"

Over on, somebody linked to the Dick Cage chastity device.

There are a lot of subtle things about the design that I like the look of. The ball ring is really wide so that the balls sit a long way forward along the shaft. To me that looks like a security improvement compared to the CB range. I still don't believe it's 100% secure, though.

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

The dirty secret of D/S: It's not all about sex!

(Triggered by an interesting discussion over at Tamara's blog.)

Being a submissive is pretty embarrassing.

If you don't believe me, imagine explaining it to a square friend; "Well, Bill, I like to get off by rubbing against my girlfriend's feet, then I lick the cum from between her toes."

If it would be embarrassing to explain to people in the outside world, since that's our reference point, on some level we're still a little embarrassed by our submissive urges.

We respond by putting a spin on it; "I'm this wild eroticist! I plumb the depths of human sexuality in order to reach new peaks of ecstasy."

Well, maybe.

That doesn't explain why those of us who enjoy giving Service - me included - are happy to spend long periods in role, just doing chores. I don't mean doing chores while  being stalked by a whip-happy mistress, I mean just doing chores, as in getting on and washing and cleaning while she relaxes, with only the distant prospect of punishment.

Yes, I know some subs talk about dripping precum while doing the ironing. However, most of us can't stay physically aroused for hours at a time, and many of us are happy to continue serving after we've had an orgasm.

Of course, thinking about slavery is a turn on. 
Imagine spending a week in a lonely cottage as her chaste slave, doing all the work, pampering her, while she relaxes. If you fail to meet the mark, she gives you a perfunctory whipping - no ritual, no dressing up, just, Kneel! (WHACK!). Every couple of evenings, she enjoys a massage and oral sex. Most of the time, she just turns in after her shower, leaving you to picture her wet naked flesh while you try to sleep on your camp bed in the kitchen, tormented by the throb in your chastity belt. Too bad - you've signed up to be a real slave.
Well, that turns me on at any rate. What would it actually be like?
Sometimes, you'd be  aware of what was happening to you, of your hopeless situation, and your chastity belt would tighten like a vise. Some of the time you'd be bored, but that would remind you of your slavery and you'd get turned on. Most of the time, though, you'd be lost in the routine of quiet service.

Yes,whenever it comes into focus, the fact of our slavery turn us on unbearably. This should be no surprise. But what about the rest of the time? When we're not hard inside our chastity belts?

There has to be something else going on. Two things, I think:.

First, letting go and giving quiet attention to the tasks in hand is profoundly relaxing. Shorn of the whips and chains, it looks suspiciously like a spiritual practice. Apart from the object of our devotion, are we much different from the monks of old?

Second, and more importantly, slavery makes us safe from the dangers of life. We can feel 100% secure because we're told exactly what to do, and the consequences of failure, though painful, are always temporary. A slave never gets rejected or fired, only whipped or chained.

During in the glorious week of slavery that we imagined, you're safe from modern adult life - there's no need to think about career or mortgage, or education loans, or home improvements. You're also safe from the dangers of your relationship - she tells you what she wants and you don't have to guess or second guess, or be empathic; her expecations are limited and explicit.  And, being a slave keeps you safe in the most dangerous place of all - the bedroom...

...and that's why slavery is erotic; slavery keeps us safe from all our fears and anxieties over sex.

However, that "enslaved freedom" applies across the board--which is maybe a bit embarrasing. :)

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Why ball-gripper chastity devices can't be secure

I love the idea of a ball-gripping chastity device like the CB2000+ series, but look at this...

Scrotums are stretchy. Flaccid penises are squashy. There's no way on earth a simple ball gripper can be "finger  secure"; you don't need tools to get your penis free.

Does this matter?

It depends what you want from a chastity device. If you're mostly wearing it around your partner, she'll notice if start fighting your way out of it.

Monday, 7 November 2011

Annonymous comments now enabled

Some people have been having trouble commenting, so I've switched off all the ant-spam features. I'll just have to stay on top of the comment threads.

(If you do comment, especially if you have a question or a point to make, I'll always try to answer on the same day.)