Friday, 29 January 2016

The DickBit, or how a digital device will help male chastity go mainstream

Male chastity has a lot to
offer the mainstream...
Male chastity has a lot to offer the mainstream (article here), but can't really become mainstream until male chastity devices actually work as male chastity devices!

At the moment, unless you have a piercing, the chastity device only really stays on because it creates a self-amplifying submissive feedback loop. You can also easily defeat it using a vibrator.

People have tried lots of different designs, but none of them really prevent pullout while soft. Nor do any of them stop the wearer getting off by using a vibrator.

So we need something different.

How about, instead of prevention, working on deterrence?

Here's where a digital device would fix everything. I've called it the DickBit and I should be very surprised if nobody was working on won. (Please feel free to use this name if you are, but I'd love a review copy.)

The Basic DickBit Chastity Enforcer

Obviously, there'd be an option to
have erections set back the
release time.
The DickBit is a small digital device resembling a FitBit. It locks onto male chastity devices or is integrated with them. Depending on the model, it connects to other digital devices via mUSB, Bluetooth and WiFi.

The basic DickBit has the following:

  • Pulse Monitor - Detects pull out.
  • Vibration Monitor - Detects use of a vibrator.
  • Audio Alarm - Can be configured so that the monitors set it of. Various options include socially embarrassing messages or mood killing jingles. Only times out after an hour or so.
  • Visual Telltale - Triggered by the detectors. Red light winks until reset by keyholder.
  • Upload information to other devices for the keyholder.

This would meet the key requirements of all the typical vanilla uses for male chastity. The possibility of embarrassment would... encourage impulse control, so the device would work in the bedroom as a couple toy and also to prevent infidelity and private masturbation.

The upload feature would keep the key holder informed, making them feel reassured - if that's what they need - and acting as another layer of deterrent.

The Delux DickBit Chastity Enforcer

As an erotic novelist, I can think of some nice features I would add to a delux version:
  • Erection Monitor - Detects how hard you are. Possibly this could also detect ejaculation.
  • Settable Time Lock - This need not be a physical locking device; it could simply prevent the security features from deactivating. Obviously, there'd be an option to have erections set back the release time.
  • Micro Electric Shocker: Apparently this is now technically feasible. It could be set up so that the monitors trigger it.
  • Ink Bomb: A smaller version of what they use in retail. Pull-out triggers this one-use device, which sprays non-toxic indelible ink all over the wearer. If it could work reliably - false positives would be a problem! - then this would be very popular with self bondage enthusiasts, since for most practical purposes, they really would be stuck in their device until unlocked.

When is the DickBit Chastity Enforcer going to come?

It's feasible right now! The basic version would use components that already exist. 

It would still cost money to develop, though. So we have to wait until somebody thinks its worthwhile. Perhaps it'll be crowd funded like the Ambrosia Vibe ("world's first bionic strap-on that vibrates when touched").

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Can Real Life be Like Femdom Erotica?
I never write erotica on days I'm allowed to come.

I don't know how other writers do it, but if I can only manage about 30 mins of writing porn before I really need an orgasm. Once I've got off, then the erotica muse deserts me.

However, on chaste days - six days a week, seven at the moment - the frustration doesn't just keep me writing, it drags me into the story away from my comfort zone.

I'm not sure what my comfort zone is any more!

Generally my fantasies about real-world BDSM adventures divide into...

Doable Fantasies: Things I expect to do - like pegging and extended deep slavery - or have already done - bondage, whippings, being teased, long-term chastity and orgasm denial.

I'm amazed by how much of this stuff I've experienced in real life - I got whipped at the weekend and I wake up every morning in my Holy Trainer 2 chastity device.

Unrealistic Fantasies: Things I'm sure I'd like to do but will never get to.

Xena is straight, for example, so I don't think I'll ever serve two women. Even so, I'm fairly sure that - just like in the Enslaved by Posh Totty series I'm writing right now - I'd be very content to be a slave in a F/F household, as long as I could truly be a fly on the wall and possibly serve as a sex toy (also unrealistic for obvious reasons).

I'd probably also enjoy spending a really extended period - say more than a month - in deep slavery. However, I think Xena enjoys the normal parts of our relationship too much for this to happen.

Dream Fantasies: Things that take Doable and Unrealistic fantasies to their logical conclusion and beyond the point at which I would enjoy them. This can be as simple as permanent chastity, or as extreme as "real" slavery.

It's disturbing in an exciting way how many of my fantasies have moved up that list and spawned more extreme versions.

When I was young, being a slave for an evening was a Dream fantasy. I couldn't imagine, e.g., actually enjoying waiting around on my knees. When it turned out I enjoyed dipping into the reality, then it became Doable. However my fantasies about doing it for longer also become Doable, with extended slavery shifting to merely Unrealistic and permanent slavery became a more developed Dream fantasy.

In the same way, 24 hour male chastity also started as a Dream fantasy. Once I experienced a little overnight chastity, it became Doable and my more extreme Dream fantasy, 24/7 chastity, shifted to merely Unrealistic. And we know how that worked out...

So yes, reality can be like Femdom erotica.

Is there a way to tell which fantasies work in reality? I suspect it's to do with real world cost. But that's a blog post for another time.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

Sunday, 24 January 2016

How I lost 1 kg every month thanks to Femdom and Male Chastity!

Femdom works miracles if you treat
it as real.
Femdom works miracles if you treat it as real.

(Well actually, I think it is real as soon as it becomes about what she wants. BDSM has a culture of pretending it's a game, forgetting that some games, like soccer, are real.)

Xena rations and controls my orgasms. She also gives me demerits resulting in strokes of the whip - it's all in our Female Led Relationship Contract.

All this excites me, but the frustration is sometimes unbearable and the whipping is always painful enough to make me want to avoid it. So the discipline may be kinky, but it's real.

Also in our FLR contract is the following clause:
He will report any measurable professional or personal targets Xena might want to manage.
I'm overweight (much less overweight now than I was, but we'll get to that). I've tried various diet and exercise regimes, but the one that works is really simple:
Of course, Xena can lower my weight 
ceiling at any time... 
  • I weigh myself daily and record the result. Missing a weigh-in or increasing weight earns me a demerit.
  • Going over a ceiling set by Xena costs me a penalty day, meaning my weekly orgasm is put back.
  • Missing a monthly target also set by Xena results in dire punishment.
(EDIT: This is pretty much an enhanced version of the weight-loss system spelled out in this NHS article. See the first comment (below) for some sensible dietary advice from "HH".)

Doing this, I steadily lost one kilogramme a month through most of last year. Over Christmas, I managed to put on a kilogramme and a half. 

Needless to say, I haven't had an orgasm since before Christmas and I've been very very motivated to lose the weight again. 

I've succeeded, but not fast enough to stop the the penalty days from mounting up (the twist is that only weekdays count, so five penalty days earn me a week of chastity). 

So now I can't have an orgasm until early next month. This has concentrated my mind like nothing else and I'm back on track. 

Of course, Xena can lower my weight ceiling at any time... 

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

Saturday, 2 January 2016

Ask Giles: Why do you keep saying "BDSM emulates evil"? (I always get consent/give consent, plan scenes, give receive aftercare)

"...what would a Martian think when it saw
one of you hurt the other?"
This question keeps coming up and usually goes something like this:
Why do you keep saying "BDSM mimics evil"? I always get/give consent, plan scenes, give/receive aftercare. The sub has the real power anyway, since they can safeword and I/we attended all these classes and raise money for Amnesty International and...
And yet - I say - what would a Martian think when it saw one of you hurt the other?

"Thinking Like a Martian" is the brainchild of Eric Berne, founder of Transactional Analysis and author of Games People Play.

The Martian, being an alien, doesn't understand English an this is immune to the bullshit explanations people give. It can, however, read body language and behaviour.

It's not a very nice way of thinking because it assigns practical responsibility to everybody in a situation - take a look at Eric Berne's reading of the Little Red Riding Hood.

So what does a Martian see when you do your BDSM?