The Necessity of the Abyss Under Our Feet: The Joy of the Possibility of Taking a Kink Further Than You Want

Between Hard Limits and 
the edge of the Kinky 
Comfort Zone lies the Abyss.

Between Hard Limits and the edge of the Kinky Comfort Zone lies the Abyss.

The Abyss is the place where you really don't want to go, but can do so without any long term emotional, relationship or physical ill effects.

For me, it's a place that needs to exist in order to make the other stuff scary. For example...

The chastity device I'm wearing is good for at least two weeks and  probably practical for two months, two years and beyond.

That would be way too extreme for me, and yet I get a delicious thrill of fear from the mere technical possibility of really long term chastity.

Another example...

When I set things up so Xena can chain me in an improvised cell, much like the hero of my Bi Femdom Wife series, I always have food and water for 24 hours.

I don't want her to leave me locked overnight.

I don't want her to leave 

me locked overnight.

I really don't want her to leave me overnight then go off to work, abandoning me to eight hours, being chained in a small room with nothing to do.

However, the fact that it's means I never know for sure whether I'm spending 2 hours or 24 hours in my cell.

And it's the same for Penalty Days and Demerits.

Usually my orgasm gets delayed for a mere couple of days. However, sometimes things go wrong - like now - and I end up having to wait weeks or months.

Sometimes Xena goes beyond the accrued punishment and I endure an unexpected painful experience. And sometimes the punishment has mounted up, and I can see that experience coming and do nothing about it.

None of these are things
I would volunteer for. 

Extended chastity, days of confinement, open ended chastity and denial, intense beatings... none of these are things I would volunteer for.

I wouldn't even consent to them if we were just topping and bottoming:

"Hey Giles! Suppose I beat you until you weep, lock you in your cell for 24 hours then keep you locked and chaste for a month?"

Um.... NO!

These are not really experiences I particularly enjoy. However, the fact that they are possible and happen from time to time turns me on horribly. The genuine fear makes my life an adventure.

And that's why I like having the Abyss there, lurking beyond my Comfort Zone.

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My wife really likes me to kneel in the corner at bedtime!

We spent yesterday tidying
up our garden for the onset
 of Autumn, Xena
giving orders 
Find out how to get some of this in your life!

We spent yesterday tidying up our garden for the onset of Autumn, Xena giving orders but not explicit Femdom; our garden is pretty private, but Xena worries about her voice carrying or somebody popping their head over the fence, which is sensible enough I think.

I was anticipating some more intense Femdom in the evening, but Xena fell asleep while I was kneeling in the corner.

I waited ten minutes in an agony of indecision.

Would she be cross if I didn't come to bed?

She's sensitive to me trying to piggyback my masochism off normal life, and also gets cross if I try to land her with extra responsibility; would she feel it a burden to remember to tell me to come to bed before drifting off?

Eventually I decided to at least turn off her reading light and put her tablet on the bedside table. I rolled forward onto my knees.

Xena's eyes snapped open.
"Back in your corner."
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Like a movie vampire, Xena's eyes snapped open. "Back in your corner."

Later, when she did call me to bed, I said, "Sorry, I don't know what to do when you fall asleep."

"Stay sitting in the corner," she said with no hint of hesitation.

"By sitting I take it you mean kneeling?" I said.

"Yes," she said. "But if you are sure I am asleep, you may change position."

I settled down with a profound sense of relief, two ambiguities solved. First, the practical one. I now know what to do.

The second, subtler. I now know for sure that the corner thing is as much for her as for me. I'm not just being humored. That thought kept me hard inside my Holy Trainer for quite a while as I drifted into sleep.

---

Don't resign yourself to just reading other people's Femdom adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her. 

Calling my wife "Mistress"

"That's yes, mistress."
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"And the lawn needs mowing tomorrow," says my wife.

I'm tidying away whips, restraints and dildos before sleep. I'm still hard inside my chastity device. My back is prickly from the beating she just gave me. My mouth is full of her aftertaste. however, xena is sated and thinking of other things.

 "Yes Xena," I mumble. "The lawn."

"That's yes, mistress," corrects Xena.

"Oh." She's surprised me. It always felt too cheesy, too melodramatic to call her that. "You want me to call you mistress, mistress?"

Xena nods. "Yes... but not all the time."

"Just in the bedroom, mistress?"

"Exactly."

"Yes, mistress."

Last night she fell asleep over her book
leaving me kneeling in the corner.Find out how to get some of this in your life!

And that's how it's been for the last month. Our bedtime routine is as before. I kneel in the corner waiting orders. She has me run errands, tidy up around her. Usually she wants a foot rub. Sometimes something more happens. Then it's back to the corner. Finally, when she's ready to sleep, she lets me come to bed.

Except before, there would be a little chatter. Sometimes I'd initiate it. Often I'd get it wrong. Now the word "mistress" hangs between us like a barrier, and for those precious couple of hours she's as distant from me as a Roman domina from her slave.

Last night she fell asleep over her book leaving me kneeling in the corner.

I knelt there, wrapped in the scary, sexy knowledge that she takes my slavery utterly for granted. It's no big thing for her to have me kneeling in the corner. That's just what slaves do.

That thought was enough to make my chastity device tightened and my mouth run dry.

Ten minutes later, Xena woke up and went back to her book. She didn't even glance my way.

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Don't just read other people's adventures! My manuals can help you walk the Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her.