My year of chastity and orgasm control

Mostly, that means the Holy Trainer 2...
It's easier than you think to ask for chastity.

I've now worn a chastity device regularly for over a year! Mostly, that means the Holy Trainer 2 and wearing every night and most days. At present, Xena permits me a weekly orgasm, though her orgasms defer mine. However, it all started with a marathon 152 days of no orgasm! (Here's my report after 113 days of chastity).

Physically, the main effect is that my balls ache when I'm not wearing my chastity device.

I'm told this is quite common. It can't be to do with unspent semen, because this happens even after I've had an orgasm. And it can't be to do with bruising, because it goes away as soon as the device goes on.

The chastity marathon was surprisingly easy after the first few weeks.
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My best guess is that the base ring slightly restricts the blood flow to the testes. Your body either gets used to it, or compensates by increasing the pressure. Without the base ring you then get more pressure than you are used to, and it feels like bruising.

The easiest response is to remove the device less often, meaning that male chastity devices are physically addictive -- quite a turn on!

The chastity marathon was surprisingly easy after the first few weeks. The weekly orgasm routine, however, has me feeling horny and on edge on Sunday night. If my orgasm is deferred -- like this week -- then my body really feels the need.

 ...some of our adventures have been
 positively pornographic
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Mentally... well I've gotten used to this thing as a fixture.

I don't have much desire to unlock, and pullout is just not in my lexicon of behavior. I rather like the waves of pent up lust, and -- since my satisfaction is out of the picture -- any sensual interaction with Xena is an immense turn on. Just massaging her feet and legs every night is compensation for not being able to masturbate or have sex.

Sex is still off the cards. However, we were pretty much in a dead bedroom, with penis in vagina action being more of a gift from her than anything else, leaving me feeling slightly disappointed each time. I don't miss that disappointment, and missing the feel of my wife's vagina is -- in a masochistic way -- a turn on. Meanwhile, some of our adventures have been positively pornographic -- a fair trade, I think.

Emotionally, I am happier. I'm sure this is partly because orgasm rationing does odd things to the hormones and brain chemistry! Wearing the device also makes me feel like myself, but I want to talk about a year of being in a Female Led Relationship in another blog entry.

Relationship-wise, as I said, the device underpins our FLR. However there's an interesting vanilla effect. I used to use my intense BDSM masturbation fantasies to escape the issues in my life, and in imagining other relationships and other lives, I was perhaps slowly disengaging emotionally both from Xena and the real world. The odd healing thing, then, about wearing a chastity device is that it's shifted my focus back to my marriage. This is one of those experiences which makes me suspect that male chastity will go mainstream one day.

Would I recommend this to somebody else? I don't know. It's something you have to not just want, fantasize over, but need. It has to feel right, more right than the alternative.

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Holy Trainer 2 Review: 42nd night in the Swiss bioresin chastity device

The chastity, the denial (the beating tonight)
-- all Xena's idea. I guess she's not very
vanilla anymore...

Tonight will be my 42nd night in the Holy Trainer 2 chastity device!

That's two stints of 21 nights each with a three day gap in the middle.

During this time, I haven't been wearing 24/7 - I'm just not comfortable with taking part in sport or hanging out with friends while wearing. However, I have worn the Holy Trainer during the day unless socializing or attending meetings and interviews.

Psychologically, it's be interesting. Since this is pretty much Xena's idea, instead of feeling like a guilty pleasure, locking up morning and night has become routine, and wearing a pleasant duty.

Physically, I have a constant background tingling in my penis and a certain weight in my balls. That's also from over 90 days of denial, again Xena's idea.

Beyond that, there's nothing to report. No discomfort, no chafing, no sore spots, no burning sensations. The Holy Trainer 2 remains diabolically comfortable.

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Chastity Rules! Communication and erotic nudgenomics

Xena on the other end of the phone
 due to a business trip

"32 days, by the way," I say. A few weeks back, Xena unexpectedly took charge of my orgasms and this was day 32 of a 40 day period of denial.

Xena on the other end of the phone due to a business trip, chuckles.  I love the way it's given us something to flirt about, but this time my wife isn't playing ball. "Well perhaps you should stop and relieve yourself," she says.

My heart sinks and I feel cross. I can't think of anything more miserable. "Don't say that! That would spoil everything."

"Oh. OK."

Later, when she gets home, I choose my moment. First I finish tidying the kitchen and putting away laundry. Then, for its own sake, but also to put her in the right frame of mind, I remind her to give me my demerits.

Six clicks later, I'm rubbing her feet. She's not reading, so it's OK to to chat.

I want to growl, "You should damn well know the last thing a sub wants to hear is anything like 'oh well, let's stop and have a cup of tea instead of doing this'!"

However, that's the wrong approach. (No shit!)

Instead, I focus on what she gets from the arrangement. "About this orgasm fast... you can do anything you like of course, but if you then backslide it loses its power. Also, I think I'm only allowed to come after we've been intimate."

"But 40 days is next Thursday," she says. "That's not very convenient."

Doing my best not to sound like a lawyer, I answer, "Once my time has expired I get an orgasm at the next opportunity - if you think I deserve it - say Saturday or Sunday."

"OK. It's still 40 days, then," says Xena.

I relax. Xena doesn't like complicated arrangements. That discussion could have gone badly.

I decide to push my luck and make a slightly insane suggestion based a little on my Chastity Belt novel:

Her pleasure - midweek at least - becomes a direct cause
 of my suffering.  

"You know we're always talking about midweek quickies but never quite manage them?" I say. "Well suppose any orgasm you have during the week adds an extra day?"

"How would that work?" asks Xena sleepily.

"Suppose you come back from yoga on Tuesday and get me to go down on you," I say. "That would mean I had to wait until Day 41. It would make it more... amusing for you."

"OK," says Xena, not really giving anything away. Later she falls asleep on me as I stroke her hair.

I lie there half-aroused, wondering whether this will work as expected.  When Xena was younger, I suspect she enjoyed the power of her sexuality and the way it made young men feel threatened and disconcerted. This new arrangement makes her dangerous again. Her pleasure - midweek at least - becomes a direct cause of my suffering.

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