Friday, 29 August 2014

Now available: PDF Version of How to be a Roman Dominatrix

Since there have been so many email requests, I've now added a PDF version of my book, How to be a Roman Dominatrix:

You don’t have to be kinky to enjoy being a dominatrix! This books shows you how to use your partner’s “Femdom” fantasies to get what you couldn’t and shouldn’t get from a normal relationship.In less civilized times, Ancient Roman ladies routinely owned slaves. These terrifyingly independent women could do pretty much as they pleased, and it pleased some of them to use their male slaves for pleasure. This book presents a no-nonsense way to help you get on a part-time basis what these Roman ladies enjoyed. As a byproduct, this should satisfy most of your partner's fantasy cravings. It's about having a good time being a dominatrix, not being a good dominatrix. It's about having power, rather than pretending to have it. You'll always know what to do, because you'll always be doing what suits you. Your partner won't get all his kinks, but being a "real" slave should more than compensate for that!

Use my manuals to help you walk the Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Writing erotica while in chastity horny I'm almost
hallucinating as I typed!
I'm between gigs, so we're a bit penniless. Xena wants me to put more effort into finishing my erotica pieces and then selling them.

We "agreed" I'd write 4,000 words a day, a demerit for every 500 under, a "slave point" for every 1000 over.

Xena rang for a chat
at lunch...
Yesterday I wrote 4,500 words and was almost quivering with lust as I gave Xena her bedtime foot rub.

This morning I wrote another 3,000. At one point I was squirming in my chair, whimpering and still writing.

I was so horny I was almost hallucinating as I typed!

...all I could think about...
All I really wanted to do was run to the bedroom for a wank... did I mention that I don't get to come until next Wednesday, and that's assuming Xena doesn't have an orgasm before then.

Xena rang for a chat at lunch and laughed at my situation, and all I could think about was her naked and me going down on her...

Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

My Chastity Hell: Trading her orgasms for mine

"You can kneel in the corner, slave, while I masturbate.
"Find out how to get some of this in your life!
Tuesday night, almost midnight.

I put the now-cool casserole into the fridge and hurry back to the bedroom ready to turn in.

Xena looks up from her book. "You can kneel in the corner, slave, while I masturbate."

"Oh god," I blurt. "It's during the week. That's going to cost me 2 days."

A few weeks ago we agreed new rules. I get to masturbate privately every Monday during the day.

However, if Xena has an orgasm, it puts back my masturbation day as follows:

Chastity Rules Controlling My Orgasm

  • If I'm in the room, 1 day.
  • If I get to watch,  2 days.
  • If I'm involved, 3 days.
  • If I get to use the strap on, 4 days.
  • If it's during the week, double.
  • No masturbation in the weekends.
  • If I do ejaculate by some means, that's borrowing my orgasm from the future.
This is my idea but Xena seems to quite like it; the idea of her pleasure stealing mine piques her sadism.

For me it's more complex.

During my 150 day denial, there was a period when Xena was too tired or stressed for erotic or sensual activity and I felt utterly neglected, as if my sexuality had been parked, as if the joke was on me.

It turned out not to be and we had an amazing week of Femdom and I still grin when I wake up and find myself locked in my chastity device.

Even so I wanted to set up a system that was sustainable and self correcting and didn't make me feel like an idiot. This way, low periods are enlivened by the prospect of me getting to masturbate, and there is the strong possibility that Xena will be tempted into more regular orgasms, just like right now...

"I didn't even get to come properly on Monday," I add ruefully. It's true.  I managed to kind of peg myself to more of an ejaculation than an orgasm.

"I don't care. Go kneel."

And I do.

The demerit system doesn't remotely
feel like a game anymore...

Find out how to get some of this in your life!
It feels a lifetime ago, but it was only a month ago when we entered another FLR period. This time it feels 100% real.

Disobeying, arguing, wheedling are all unthinkable, and Xena has taken to casually handing out demerits during seemingly vanilla time. Not properly completing any one room? 2 demerits. Grumpy in the morning due to headache? 3 demerits. Late coming to bed? 1 demerit. 

The demerit system doesn't remotely feel like a game anymore, if it ever was.

She glances my way - that's new - then it's her default under-the-covers wank, not the pyrotechnic exhibitionism I "enjoyed" earlier in the month. There's not much to see, just her hand making her breast quiver, and all I can hear is the click click of her Kindle as she flicks through whatever porn she's getting off to.

Meanwhile, I kneel in the corner ignored, as invisible as if I were spying on her through a keyhole.

Playing voyeur on a private moment more than makes up for the unshowy masturbation going on under the covers. After all, this is how most women must get off when there's no audience: no rose petals, warm clothing, comfy bed, reading glasses if needed...

Perhaps deep down part of my fetish life comes
 from the feeling that female sexuality is emasculating.

Find out how to get some of this in your life!
So I'm as hard as a rock inside my Holy Trainer 2, each twitch of hand on nipple sending seismic pulses through my imprisoned groin.

And then I realize that this is costing me two more days without an orgasm! 

Perhaps that's why she's doing it -- that glance? -- or perhaps she just fancies a quiet frigging session. It doesn't matter. The thing that's turning me on is also eroding my own capacity to masturbate.

Perhaps deep down part of my fetish life comes from the feeling that female sexuality is emasculating. Now things are set up in our bedroom so this is almost literally true. The feeling or aroused panic is... exquisite.

Xena puts away her kindle. "You may come to bed, slave."

As I slip under the covers, I say, "That puts things off to Wednesday."

"Too bad," says Xena. "Good night."

Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Three ways to find a dominatrix when dating in the vanilla world

...wishful thinking (and hot BDSM sex)
may make you stick around.
It's probably irresolvable.

If you date in the kinky world, then the kink is like an elephant in the room making it hard to see the other aspects of the relationship.

Worse, wishful thinking (and hot BDSM sex) may make you stick around in a relationship that has no future.

Finally, by going for kink first you may be missing out on soul mates with whom you could later develop a kinky relationship.

You're putting the cart before the horse.

However, if you date in the vanilla world, you might get deeply involved in a relationship only to find you're never going to get the kink you need.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

...soul mates with whom
you could later develop
a kinky relationship.
There's no easy answer.

However, I can tell you that vanilla dating can work. I found my wife in the vanilla world after a series of relationships, all of which involved a kink element.

What I learned is:

- Since our kinks reflect who we are, there is a good chance that if you are compatible in other ways, you will also be kinkily compatible. However this will be a compatibility of dynamic rather than specific fantasies.

- People will do almost anything during the sexploration phase, but quickly grow bored unless there's something in it for them.

With this in mind, here's my advice on how to find a dominatrix through vanilla dating:

1. Date strong women

...strong women
Look for adventurous self-confident women who are broadminded, comfortable in their own bodies, like to get their own way, and who you respect.

If you don't know women like this, work out how to be where they are.

If your prevailing culture is culturally conservative, either move away from it or focus on women who are physically adventurous: the sportswomen, the climbers, the runners, the dancers... the ones who don't mind moving around and getting sweaty.

(Meanwhile, work on making yourself a worthy partner. Shed any sense of being a loser.)

2. Introduce Femdom during the sexploration phase

...the sexploration phase
Introduce the Femdom early, during the sexploration phase when you're having lots of crazy sex anyway.

I know it's tempting to hide your "secret" until you feel secure in the relationship. However this is fundamentally dishonest (bait and switch!), misses the vital sexploration phase where almost anything goes, and potentially leaves you deeply in love with somebody with whom you can never have a satisfactory erotic relationship.

3. Focus the Femdom on her

Don't be fooled.

People will do all sorts of kink during the sexploration phase. However the main thrill is "doing hot transgressive stuff with new lover". Once the love isn't new, the kink becomes a chore.

...mindblowingly good things that she couldn't -- shouldn't! --
get from a vanilla relationship.
For this reason, you need to shed your specific fantasies and make the Femdom about her.

Make it a way for her to get mindblowingly good things that she couldn't -- shouldn't! -- get from a vanilla relationship.

Take things she already likes and use Femdom to enhance them.

My book Getting Her to be a Vanilla Dominatrix can help with this!

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?

Monday, 25 August 2014

Public Displays of Dynamic: What if Female Led Relationships were socially acceptable?

an ultra-politically correct future where...
couples in Female Led Relationships could
be open about it.
Just imagine, an ultra-politically correct future where Domination and Submission was recognized as an orientation, and where couples in Female Led Relationships could be open about it.


Now stop fapping and imagine it more realistically!

It wouldn't be much different from the way things are now, would it? Even so it would be an improvement.

Think about the ultimate mainstream relationship, the vanilla peer relationship, call it VPR.

What's socially acceptable and what's not for VPR folk? Let's use that as a guide:

What's not going to happen is public Femdom
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
What's not going to happen is public Femdom.

VPR couples don't generally do sexuality in public. They don't heavy pet on street corners, nor do they do sensual back rubs in the restaurant or have sex on park benches.

Now the natural sexuality of FLR couples is Femdom, so in the same way it won't be sociably acceptable to do Femdom in public.

As people become more accepting of FLR they will also become more aware of Femdom. They'll understand a boot is the equivalent of a boob and a collar as good as a cock ring in certain circumstances. So, no leaving husbands chained outside shops, no public whipping posts, no spending the day shopping dressed as a transvestite latex puppy, no greeting mistress by kissing her boots in the High Street.

Not going to happen.

It's not that people will be prudes, it's just that nobody want's somebody's sexuality rubbed in their faces.

Public displays of FLR affection, however are entirely plausible mostly because it will be impossible to tell what's happening.

The FLR woman will always have the initiative...
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
When a VPR couple kiss and -- if young/drunk/in love -- caress in public they're both in control, or passing the initiative back and forth.

The only difference an FLR makes is that the woman will be calling the shots. She may be physically passive while her lover worships her, or physically invasive while he squirms in hopeless arousal. T

he same goes for in relaxed social situations when they flirt or engage in public coziness, e.g. one uses the other's lap as a footstool. The FLR woman will always have the initiative, but you'd have to observe many many episodes in order to spot the underlying dynamic.

All this already happens. Really FLRs being mainstream won't make much difference at all to the way we pursue our sexuality and display our affection. However, there are two areas where it will make a massive difference...

First, public displays of dynamic.

At present, VPR couples openly display their dynamic, flaunting the way they name decisions through negotiation and consensus, showing off the way they look after each other, playfully trading favors.

It would be nice if FLR couples could also display our dynamic, if the women could publicly have the final word, be waited on, playfully misuse her authority and without feeling like a shrew or a bitch, and her partner could be compliant without feeling like a doormat or henpecked husband.

Imagine if she could just say, "Fetch me some coffee," or, "Serve the drinks" and that would be OK?

Second, courting.

If people knew what FLR was, if it was socially acceptable, if it didn't automatically imply heavy Femdom or haunting BDSM clubs and munches, then the world would be a much better place.

 ...people would know who they were and act accordingly.
For a start, people would know who they were and act accordingly. No odd groping through destructive relationships for young submissive men. No wavering between bastards who stand up to them and doormats who don't for young dominant women, and more young women would identify as dominant earlier.

It would also be easier to find appropriate partners. Rather than engage in a diabolical guessing game with the worry of accidentally playing bait and switch, we'd simply take note of whatever the dress codes were: perhaps certain kinds of jewelry would signal orientation.

Finally, just like VPR courting, FLR courting would have an established path, with boundaries and bases. Subs would be aware of their hard limits and expect to see them respected, dommes would know the standard path to intimacy: Do you do Femdom on a first date? At what point does she take control of his orgasms? And so on.

It wouldn't all be plain sailing. There'd be odd double standards among parents who might wish an FLR on their daughters, but not their sons, or regard an FLR son-in-law as a parasite: why can't you get yourself a real man? Raising a family within an openly FLR household will also present all sorts of dilemmas.

But we're talking about the future here, something we'll evolve our way towards. The question remains how we'll make the jump.

Don't resign yourself to just reading other people's Femdom adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

How to remove seams from your Holy Trainer 2 male chastity device

I love my Holy Trainer 2. It's so comfortable I can go jogging in it.

However, the finish on these devices isn't always perfect. There are sometimes sharp seams left over from the molding process -- not a terrible flaw in such an inexpensive device, but one I'd love fixed in the Holy Trainer 3.

Sharp thin craft knife.
Removing the seams is pretty easy.

Removing External Seams from the Holy Trainer

Use a sharp thin craft knife to slice them off. Do this carefully with the device resting on a table and always cutting away from your hand. (Make sure you have privacy for this -- getting a surprise while using a sharp knife is a bad idea!)

Removing Internal Seams from the Holy Trainer penis tube

This is harder. Some people use a Dremmel tool plus a polishing head, but I don't have this equipment. A cheaper option is to buy some fine grade wet and dry emery cloth plus some strong elastic bands.

Cut a finger-width strip of the emery cloth, fold it length-wise over the end of your finger, and use an elastic band to secure it. (Not too tight!)

Now wet the Holy Trainer. Hook your finger against the seam and make gentle circling motions to polish it away.

Try not to imagine massaging your keyholder's G-spot... :)

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Ask Giles: How do I turn my vanilla man into a sexual submissive?

Look for two kinds of behavior your man exhibits
that you could 
into Femdom. 
Of course, I wouldn't: I'm a straight male and I'm monogamously married to Xena! However, it's interesting to think about because it makes us consider how submission works without the fetish.

So here's what I'd say to a female friend who wanted to turn her vanilla boyfriend or husband into a submissive. 

(The following assumes consent is given for each step of the way. Please also note that introducing Femdom to the wrong person can be playing with fire and potentially dangerous.) 

Look for two kinds of behavior your man exhibits that you could extend into Femdom. I call these "Femdom Windows":

Service Window: He likes doing stuff too or for you, e.g. if he likes giving you long massages followed by oral. Or pampering you for an evening.
Bottoming Window: He likes lying back and "letting" you do things to him, for example a blow job.

Use your instincts to pick the behavior you think you could most easily extend and work out what's in it for him. There are two broad kinds of incentive:

The Plateau Incentive: Men don't normally have much of a plateau phase. Assuming it doesn't switch him off, anything you can do to string out his orgasm will be addictive.
The Pornstar Incentive: Most men love it when women express sexual agency, by which I mean "act dirty", for example using  a sex toy or letting him use it on you, or dressing sexily, or just loudly expressing sexual pleasure.

Most men love it when women express sexual agency...
The precise incentive depends on the two of you, but it should be something he will enjoy for its own sake, but wouldn't normally get.

For example, in a Service Window, perhaps he gets to dress you in clothing that turns him on, then kneel and watch you masturbate.

In a Bottoming Window you might dress the same way, then string out his orgasm.

Make sure you know how to do the kink safely and successfully, then suggest it during the Femdom Window. Do this casually but sexily and focus on the activity itself: "Whenever you do this I imagine you're my slave and it gets me wet" or "If you let me tie you up I'll give you the blow job of your life".

Once you've done this once, do it again a week later. Keep doing it until you've got it perfect and he doesn't just suggest the activity, he pleads for it.

"Rub my feet, then I'll tie you up."
At this point, two factors should give the kink an increasing momentum:

Conditioning Factor: Men quickly learn to get aroused by things they associate with sex. It's where a lot of fetishes come from. By now he's starting to associate Femdom with being very turned on... :)
Femdom Factor: I'm almost sure that female dominant, male submissive is one of several sweet spots in human relationships. Kink aside, it's certainly a very easy and secure place to sit since everybody knows what to do and the sex is guilt free.

This is the point where you start adding things that you like. They can't be things that repulse or trigger him, but they can be things you like more than he does.

So if you're working on a Bottoming Window, you could make it conditional on him licking you, or get some service first; "Rub my feet, then I'll tie you up." If it's a Service Window, you could extend the service or start introducing discipline. Whatever you do, make sure it's sexy and uses at least one of the Incentives. If he's tidying the apartment, make sure there's a nice surprise waiting for him in the bedroom.

After that, it's rinse and repeat. Keep extending the Femdom Widow either spontaneously or in a planned way. Sooner or later, you'll evolve a dynamic that suits the both of you.

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?

Sunday, 3 August 2014

What happened next: Femdom tease and denial like never before

 "It's just I need ten minutes alone in the
bedroom... that phone call turned me on."

Find out how to get some of this in your life!
After the amazing phone tease, my supposedly vanilla wife arrives home, checks her mail then comes into the kitchen, "How long will food be?"

"I was just waiting for you before doing the last bit," I say, ever the compliant husband.

"Oh," says Xena with a girlish squirm that doesn't quite suite her business clothes. "It's just I need ten minutes alone in the bedroom... that phone call turned me on."

"I could come and help you..." I say.


"I can't think of  anything more frustrating," I add hurriedly. "And then I'd have to cook the meal while trying to to think about it."

Five minutes later, I'm kneeling at the foot of the bed naked except for my chastity device.

This time she's wearing the shoes as well.
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
Xena is sitting on the duvet -- not hiding under the covers -- half naked, legs splayed, vibrator circling her clit and labia.

Soon my whole plastic-sheathed groin is rising and falling in time to each buzzing orbit. There's nowhere for the lust to go. My eyes water. A couple of times I find myself squinting or even looking away.

And then she's done.

"Clean this," she says, handing me the vibrator. "Then cook."

Though dizzy with lust,  I do manage to cook. We chat over the meal, watch TV while I rub her feet... as the credits roll I say, "You mentioned demerits."

"Yes," says the woman whose feet I've been so lovingly massaging. "Go prepare yourself."

I hurry to the bedroom and strap myself over the bed. The velcro cuffs have a velvet lining. The duvet is soft under my body. Given how hard I've been working, this is the most comfortable I've been all day!

Me? I sleep eventually.
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
Then Xena strides in, slips into those shoes and proceeds to beat me. It's not just the ten or demerits, it's a few strokes for a warm up and a finale with Fred Norman's flogger, wielded with such ferocity it lands like a half dozen spankings.

Still wearing the shoes, she orders me to clear up the punishment apparatus, then I kneel at the foot of the bed.

Welts still clawing at my skin, I kneel and watch as she pleasures herself again. This time she's wearing the shoes as well.

Buy the ultimate vanilla-to-femdom
how-to book right now!
It goes on for ever.

It's like being stuck in one of those animated porn gifs; the vibrator goes round and round, and my groin gets tighter and tighter.

At last her hand begins to blur quiver, breathing quicken and she's done. "Clean this."

Then she reads for an hour while I massage her feet and legs, my gaze fixed on her pussy.

Then she goes to sleep.

Me? I sleep eventually.

The next morning it turns out that each of her four orgasms this week have cost me an extra day of chastity. I expected to be allowed a private orgasm on Monday. Now it's next Friday, and the weekend hasn't even started.

Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

Friday, 1 August 2014

Femdom phone tease

...despite being in her forties, my wife reminds me of one of those
bubbly flappers I so love.

Find out how to get some of this in your life!
"That's cheap," says Xena. I can hear her footsteps in the background. She's walking home.

We're talking about a new kettle at a local bargain store. "I don't think it's a counterfeit," I say. "I've had several cups of tea and I'm fine..." I throw her a line in case she wants to play; "...except this odd erectile dysfunction."

Xena giggles and despite being in her forties, my wife reminds me of one of those bubbly flappers I so love.  "I think that's caused by other issues."

 I might as well have stepped through
 a door to one of my fantasy worlds.
My penis comes alive in its chastity device. "Which reminds me, you're mean..." I say, squirming.

"Of course I am."

"...that thing you said last night." (After a beating me and making me help her masturbate, she told me to go to sleep without thinking about the big dildo going in and out of her vagina.) "Have you any idea how hard it is not to think of it? I suddenly start to drift off and I think, Oh good, I've stopped thinking about it and then WHAM! And this morning and all the way into town. And back!"

Xena sounds gleeful. "And there's nothing you can do about it."

Now my chastity device is so tight I can barely stand. "Oh god. Oh god."

Buy the ultimate vanilla-to-femdom
how-to book right now!
"Just think," says Xena. "You have ten demerits already. What will happen tonight...?"

I slump into a chair and clutch my imprisoned groin. "Help..." I say and I mean it. I'm so far out of my comfort zone on this that I might as well have stepped through a door to one of my fantasy worlds.

I tell her about blogging last night, and how many hits we're getting -- which seems to please her -- then ask if she'll pick up desert and cheese from the shops.

Xena is not pleased. She gives me a demerit over the phone. And that was just for the cheese.

(What happened next...)

Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

My Chastity Hell: Teasing, denial, discipline and protocol on a one-sided National Orgasm Day

Xena on the phone
(as I picture her)
 "Did you get much writing done?" asks Xena. She's on the phone walking back from work.

"I write erotica faster when there's no option to stop to masturbate," I say. I like to remind her of my chaste state when I can. "Ironically, it's National Orgasm Day."

"Really?" she says sweetly. "Tell me what you wrote."

My Holy Trainer 2 tightens around my cock. "That's really unfair. I'm trying to cook dinner."

She giggles. "Go on."

It's a double turn on. The story floats my boat -- I wrote it after all -- but Xena doesn't normally tease me like this. Standing in the kitchen locked into a chastity device, I tell her my opening chapter. I have to keep stopping. My the end of it I'm slumped against the kitchen table, groin throbbing like a second heart.

"...chats sporadically over the meal
I've cooked"

Find out how to get some of this in your life!
Xena arrives home, goes over my domestic tasks in a matter of fact way, and chats sporadically over the meal I've cooked.

I tidy up, rub her feet while she watches TV, all the while feeling horribly turned on. I'm too weeks into chastity, I've been wearing a device almost 24/7 since Sunday. I need some intimacy.

Unfortunately, it's mid week. Nothing intense normally happens on a work night. Worse, I'm not allowed to try to initiate erotic activity. However...

"Would you like to do demerits tonight," I say.
"horny and frustrated"
Find out how to get some of this in your life!

"Oh," says Xena. "I'm not really in the mood."

"It's just that you're were planning to go out on Friday and this weekend is busy..." I trail off. "Now I feel awful. I'm just horny and frustrated. You can do what you like. I'm sorry."

"Go prepare yourself."
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
"Give yourself a demerit," says Xena. After a pause. "Actually, go shower and I'll decide."

When I present myself back in the lounge, she says, "Go prepare yourself while I finish watching this."

"May I use a slave point to get you to wear your sexy shoes?" (Slave points are rewards for excellent service. I now have one left.)

"OK." She returns to her program.

Triumphant, I hurry to the bedroom.

But as I get out the whips, twenty two demerits starts to seem like a lot.

Whipping has become so routine I can't remember the separate instances. Even so, it's like jumping into icy water -- I don't think it'll ever get easy -- and right now I'd rather make love to my beautiful wife, with or without the device.

A cuddle would be nice too...

"sexy shoes"
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
So by the time I've secured myself over the foot of the bed, I'm in a sweat and remembering how vicious she was last time.

Finally, the door opens and she strides into the room. There's a pause then her feet appear before me. She has sexy feet anyway, but right now she's wearing leopard-pattern high-heel mules. "Hmm. Twenty two demerits," says my wife sounding amused.

The fear is an aphrodisiac. My penis inflates inside its tube and I whimper out of frustration and anticipation of pain.

"Plus you left the bathroom in a mess," says Xena.

And she whips me.

Four for the bathroom, then twenty two for various failings.

In the past, I've worn a butt plug for whippings. However, rather than make it more erotic, it actually made it difficult for me to have an erection. This time I'm unplugged and hard as a rock inside my tube. The effect is... extreme.

Xena isn't into "funishment". She strikes each blow to hurt me, and my god it does hurt. (I flinch and whimper so much she tells me to be silent and starts again.) At the same time, each stroke seems to drive the blood into my caged cock so that I become more and more turned on. That actually becomes a new kind of suffering; I haven't come in two weeks, and have no idea when next I'll be allowed to masturbate.

Xena isn't into "funishment"
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
Finally Xena orders me to release myself and clear up.

I move around unsteadily, cock pounding inside its prison, half an eye on her feet in those sexy shoes. My back feels -- You know when you get glue on your skin and it dries? Or a big scab forms over a graze? -- tight with welts. Realizing what just happened drives yet more pressure into my chastity device. "Beautiful wife," I gasp.

"Mistress," corrects Xena.

A twitch in my cock. This is the first time we've discussed protocol. I always thought she'd find that term too melodramatic, too cliched. "So you like mistress, not ma'am or madam?" I ask. "And you want me to use mistress when I speak?"

"Yes, slave," says Xena.

My head whirls. I just want to roll onto the floor and... I don't know. I can't do anything to my cock. "So wife and compliant husband by day, mistress, and slave and mistress at night..., mistress?"

"Got it in one, slave," says Xena. "Oh," she says. "You brought out the erotica."

Odeco multi-speed vibrator
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
I did. I left a couple of sexy graphic novels on a handy side table. I tense, expecting another beating for my temerity.

She picks them up and thumbing through them kicks off her shoes and slips into bed. "What devices have we got, slave?" she asks.

I present her with two vibrators, a nice small Odeco multi-speed, and a massive vibrating Tantus John Doe.

"Into the corner, slave," she orders.

I whimper in frustration. I want intense intimacy, not this.

...massive vibrating Tantus John Doe
Find out how to get some of this in your life!
"Give yourself another demerit, slave, I can do anything I want," says my wife, picking up the multi-speed.

So I kneel in the corner to watch her masturbate.

Watch is almost the wrong word. She's sitting up in bed with the duvet pulled up to her middle. All I can see is her hand teasing her nipple through her top.

She's done this before. It's not pornographic masturbation. It's not for me. She takes my slavery so much for granted now, I'm not even sure my presence adds anything to her experience.

(Seriously! The other day she got lost in a book and fell asleep leaving me kneeling in the corner like a forgotten appliance until her glasses fell off and woke her and she ordered me to bed.)

However being truly ignored means I'm invisible as long as I stay kneeling in the corner. I'm watching her in a truly private moment.

"...a better view"
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So I stare at her fingers orbiting her nipple as if it's the most important thing in the world. Each turn of her fingers churns my groin. I don't have as penis anymore, just an uncomfortable tightness that I can see rolling off into the future.

Without warning, she puts the book aside and throws the covers back. "Come over here and get a better view."

She never does this!

I stumble over and land kneeling at the foot of the bed. Now I can watch the black vibrator nuzzle the apex of her pussy. The blood drains from my brain and my head slumps onto the mattress. This is actually too much.

Xena laughs. "You're not allowed to look away, slave."

"Yes mistress," I stammer.

"Now the bigger dildo," she says, "and some lubricant."

Moving drunkenly, back still smarting from the harsh whipping, I lube up the dildo, turn it on, and slowly ease it into her vagina. It's big, much bigger than my real cock, but she takes it with a purr, "That's good."

So now I'm kneeling on the bed between her legs. I haven't had sex for over a year. I haven't had an orgasm for two weeks. I can't even get an erection thanks to the chastity device, I'm sliding a massive dildo in and out of Xena's pussy and all I can feel is a love as intense as the pressure inside my Holy Trainer.

And then she comes and orders me back into the corner.

"Try not to think of that big dildo
going in and out of my pussy."

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She reads for ten minutes then orders me to clear everything away then rub her feet. She's relaxed, sated. Even so she's ready with the demerits; one for being slow at tidying up the other for squeezing her toes too hard. It's not an erotic thing, just the way it works.

When I finally make it to bed she says, "Try not to think of that big dildo going in and out of my pussy." Then she rolls over and goes to sleep.

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I don't sleep quite so well. Every time I start drifting off, I think "Oh good I managed to stop thinking about that dildo..."

In the morning we discover I missed buying an item on sale and cost our household budget something like £50; a significant sum of money at the moment.

I'm embarrassed and guilty.

Xena's angry.

And she gives me five demerits.

Because all this is real.

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