|"Oh, you do realise I'm very |
Reddit, however, is also full of sad stories where a long-term partner gives a decisive "no" to BDSM.
Wouldn't it have been better for both parties if, back when they started dating they could have casually had a conversation like this:
|People would understand that they |
can be D- or S-types and not be fetishy
all the time
Those rejections are also wins, since they save everybody precious time and avoid the later sadness of a long marriage (or equiv) coming to an abrupt end due to sexual incompatibility.
Alas, growing up with a D/s orientation is still a bit like being gay or bi in - say - 1930. You may have no idea about your orientation, or you may suspect it but be put off by the popular image and therefore be in some kind of exaggerated denial.
There are also more potential compatible partners around than you realise because you not only can't you see them, but also they may not be aware of their own D/s potential.
If D/s were just a little bit more mainstream, then people would be aware of and comfortable with stating their preferences. There would be more happy D/s pairings and fewer relationships broken or marred by kinky incompatibility.
Yes, it would still take years to find the right partner, but the process would be less awkward and more fun.
That wouldn't affect me, but it would make the world a better and happier place.
Which would be nice.
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