Why it would be nice if D/s was more mainstream...

"Oh, you do realise I'm very
dominant, right?"

Two high schoolers on their first date:

Her: "Oh, you do realise I'm very dominant, right?"

Him: "Yes. I'm cool with that."

And according to the user who posted this on Reddit, this was several years ago and they've been together ever since.

Reddit, however, is also full of sad stories where a long-term partner gives a decisive "no" to BDSM.

Wouldn't it have been better for both parties if, back when they started dating they could have casually had a conversation like this:

Her: "Oh, you do realise I'm very dominant, right?"

Him: "Oh? I'm not sure this will work out, then."

People would understand that they
can be D- or S-types and not be fetishy
all the time

Or...

Him: "You do realise I'm very submissive?"

Her: "Oh? I'm not sure this will work out, then."

Those rejections are also wins, since they save everybody precious time and avoid the later sadness of a long marriage (or equiv) coming to an abrupt end due to sexual incompatibility.

Alas, growing up with a D/s orientation is still a bit like being gay or bi in - say - 1930. You may have no idea about your orientation, or you may suspect it but be put off by the popular image and therefore be in some kind of exaggerated denial.

There are also more potential compatible partners around than you realise because you not only can't you see them, but also they may not be aware of their own D/s potential.

If D/s were just a little bit more mainstream, then people would be aware of and comfortable with stating their preferences. There would be more happy D/s pairings and fewer relationships broken or marred by kinky incompatibility.

"I'm looking for somebody who likes to be the alpha in the relationship/bedroom."

"I like to be the alpha in the relationship/bedroom."

Yes, it would still take years to find the right partner, but the process would be less awkward and more fun.

That wouldn't affect me, but it would make the world a better and happier place.

Which would be nice.

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