Two Years of the Custom Chastity Saint (a nonstory with pictures)

We're coming up to two years of the Custom Chastity Saint.

It's transformed our already kinky relationship.

Here's an example.

I just completed nearly five and a half months of 24/7 chastity in my Custom Chastity "Saint". 

At the end of January, Xena allowed me an orgasm. Then I locked up and handed her the keys. She didn't give them back until the middle of July when we were about to go on a short beach holiday with some friends.

"Do I get an orgasm?"

"Perhaps after the holiday..."

So, just before we set off, I unlocked my device and stashed it in my luggage. When I inspected my suddenly-naked genitals, there were no chafe marks, no running sores, no blisters or infections.

And that was it.

If you are new to chastity, or have a good high-end device, that might sound like a nonstory.

However, if you are a male chastity veteran like me, or are struggling along with some clunky knockoff device you picked up off Amazon or Ebay, then you'll get that the nonstory is the story.

Here's what didn't happen:

• I didn't develop chafing or an infection and have to beg the key back.
• I didn't need to unlock to socialise or do sport.
• I didn't soldier on stoically suffering chafing and infections and quietly missing out on socialising  occasions and sport.
• During intimate time and discipline, I didn't need to ask to pause to adjusted a heavy cage, or un-turtle myself. 

This is a million miles from the experience of metal cages and standard sized tubes!

Obviously,  the Saint is much more physically pleasant to wear. It's either a sensual presence or no presence at all. However, it's the psychological and relationship effects that are truly stunning.

Psychologically, I know there will be no practical reason to remove the device. If Xena wasn't paranoid about visibility through swimwear, I could potentially stay locked for years on end. As it is, she once left me sealed in for 11 months.  The result is a delicious blend of security - locked means locked - and fear - she could do this to me forever.

Relationship-wise, it means Xena can control my chastity on whim. There's no emotional labour of second guessing me, no need to get into a more responsible head space to forward plan. She can lock me up, or seal me in, and it's a done deal until she changes her mind. It's true that we were already a kinky couple, but this has deepened her dominance. She is no longer wife and domme, with two different roles, she truly is my dominant wife.

So we got back from vacation. She soaked in the bath, I unpacked and ran the washing machine. I also took the opportunity to refresh the dye on my device (picture behind the cut).

That night I returned the key to Xena.

"I didn't get my orgasm."

"No you didn't. Now rub my feet, slave."

And I did. 

So, today I'm locked up and working on the sequel to Trapped in Chastity by a Pretty Goth and I don't know when my next orgasm will be...

(You can see my caged package behind the cut.)

Locked and Collared for Lockdown - 100+ Days of 24/7 Chastity

"The beatings are fierce enough that I am afraid of them."

There's a brutal logic. 

I don't get to orgasm while Xena is in the house, and Xena is working from home, therefore I've been locked since last time she took the keys, and I know not to pester.

Also, we're living on top of each other, and Xena being an aloof introvert needs her space, so every evening has seen me collared and more or less mute. I've also found myself overnight in my cell more than once.

She's too stressed out by running an organisation over Zoom for there to be much actual sexy time, but the discipline is harsh.

So lockdown has turned out to be an adventure for me, a trip into the heart of my own darkness. It's genuinely a little scary. I'm very at home in the shadow of my slavery and can't always see the way out. The beatings are fierce enough that I am afraid of them. My cell is a bleak place compared to my own bed. 

However, I've also never felt more fulfilled in my entire life.  

---

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Adventures in Chastity: What keeps us locked and chaste against our will and why?

Tom Allen has this blog post about how male chastity is all a fantasy game, and we stay looked and chaste only because we want to. He's right, but he's also wrong. Here's why.

The first time Xena imposed extended denial on me, it ran to 152 days! I kept asking her whether I could get off, and she kept delaying it. Toward the end I was feeling more irritated than accepting. However I stuck to it because it was what she told me to do. As I sit here locked into my chastity device, I'm very glad I did.

People have always voluntarily signed up for experiences they know that they'll be locked into, and won't entirely enjoy. We generally called these experiences "adventures".

Adventures can be short (say, a roller coaster ride) through long (say, an arctic expedition) to a lifetime (say, getting married).

We see benefits to having the adventure, but we are also locked in for a variety or reasons ranging from practical (can't actually step off a roller coaster in mid ride!) through cost of quitting (losing a deposit, damaging friendships with companions, and feeling cowardly) to emotions  (love can make us stay and fix a marriage).

What's odd about adventures is that we know what we're getting into, we know there will be low points, and that there's no going back. Even so, we still do it.

This is because feelings like wanting, liking, enjoying, and satisfaction are really just labels we give to a quilt of drives and urges, all operating in parallel rather than in summation. You can take a roller-coaster ride and experience: fear; excitement; pride; horror; visceral pleasure; and nausea. You can have a strong wish to get off the ride ("Argh! Let me off! Let me off!") and yet in the aftermath enjoy the most amazing buzz ("Whee! Let's do it again!").

In the case of long term chastity and orgasm denial, it's common to experience an amazing time, and to wish it would end - and to do so simultaneously! You can love the heightened sensations, but be desperate to come.

Thus, though chaste men on forums often over egg it and humble brag, it's entirely reasonable for them to express mixed feelings. You can revel in the power your mistress exercises, even though you also resent it - the very fact she can make you do things you resent is itself a turn on... that's how masochism works.

So much for the why? The what? is intriguing. What locks us into chastity adventures? What keeps us going when we aren't having fun and we just feel pissed off and horny?

Obviously pride, as for any other kind of adventure. Some chastity belt users sound like sportsmen or explorers: "I'm going to make six months if it kills me!"

There are seven motivations that are specific to male chastity.

The first four are psychological:

1. Masturbation after chastity is lonely and anticlimactic. This is especially true if you're self locked because it means leaving behind your taste of a fantasy and being reminded you have nobody to play with.

2. Withdrawing consent might make the Femdom go away.  Even nowadays, we're usually the ones who introduce the idea of Femdom. If we start making things difficult, then our mistresses may just give up on the whole idea. Better  to suffer six months of no orgasm than sixteen years of no Femdom!

3. It's hard to step out of a submission feedback loop.  For primates, having an erection is not just sexual, it's a display of dominance. So not being able to have an erection makes us even more submissive than we already are. Even if self-locked, it becomes surprisingly psychologically hard to pull out or defeat a device. We simply don't feel like doing it. Nor do we feel like deceiving our keyholder, or disobeying her. We are are already submissive and chastity makes us more submissive. Disobedience stops being in our lexicon.

4. You can get used to almost anything.  For many of us, this is just how we live and how our relationships work. It's like moving to an inner city area and liking the convenience and the restaurants, but moaning about the noise and trash.

The last three are practical and relate to damaging or drilling out the device when we don't have the key, e.g. because it's in a time safe, or we're sealed in "permanently".

5. Staying locked is more convenient than breaking out. For those of us without drill benches in well-equipped garages, defeating a device using tools is often less convenient than waiting out our "sentence". This is true even if the sentence is open ended. Things have to a certain level of unbearableness before we start tackling the problem of what tools to use and how, and finding the privacy to do it.

6. Destroying a device is a waste. If we're sealed into a device, we have a strong urge to justify the money we spent on it. (This raises the interesting question of what a month in chastity is worth).

7. Replacement is a problem. Our device may be expensive, our discretionary spend may be limited, and, as in 2., our partners may become cross about us wasting money on "sex toys" which we then break.

Reasons 5-6  suggest that the best possible "permanent" chastity device would be difficult to destroy, expensive, and not readily available... However that's for another blog post.

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Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

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24/7 Chastity: Getting my lockup right for my wife

Sometimes you don't see what's in front of your eyes. Xena, my wife of two decades, has been my mistress for about three years of Female Led Relationship. I'm still responsible for suggesting things that might please her. Even so, up until this point I've got the male chastity track a little wrong.

The Penalty Days system works great. I can only come during the week. My orgasm day is supposed to be every Monday. However, Penalty Days shift that day back - see the side bar for the end result.

The neat twist is Xena's orgasms earn me penalty days: I watch while she masturbates under the covers, 1; I get a good view while she masturbates, 2; I get to help,  3; I get to use the strapon on her, 4; and, for each set of sexy clothing she wears, 1.

That works. She loves the idea of her pleasure scaring me, and also denying mine.

However, we never quite got the actual lockup right.

We tried me being locked up as much as possible and reporting back, but she never punished me for my decisions.

We tried me asking each evening about lockup the next day, but she always erred on the side of being too reasonable.

Then we got my lovely new horribly practical custom chastity device. I'd been using cable ties up until this point. Now, however, there were keys!

We tried her having my keys, and me having to ask to unlock. This irritated her - me having to fish in her handbag and so on - but also, again, she always granted my requests.

We had one of our rare long chats about it. She said my lock up didn't mean much to her, what did it mean to me. I rambled on a bit, then conversation over.

I was perplexed, because I'd noticed that when I did the two weeks trial of the new device, she'd been particularly dominant. She'd also seemed very laid back about the possibility of me testing a permanent system. It might not mean much to her, but she seemed to enjoy the effects.

It took me two days to realise what she really needed to know was that her controlling my lockup made me more instinctively submissive to her. That didn't solve the problem of how to manage the lockup.

These days, Xena erotically, Xena is pretty much a Diva when energised, and a Hermit when tired:

Xena's Intimacy Mode Chart

I explained this system in my Vanilla Dominatrix book, but in a nutshell, my wife is not really very erotically interactive. She blows hot or cold, but never stops to play or bask in my admiration. Instead, she either rampages around unfettered in Diva Mode, being magnificently sexy and cruel, or else shuts down and just gets her way in Hermit Mode.

What she doesn't want is input from me! For example, when she whips me, she wants me to be stoical and make as little noise as possible. When she masturbates while I look on from the corner, I must kneel quietly... no groaning or squirming.

This explains why in the last couple of years she's never been that interested in whatever chastity milestone I've attained - that's all about me and the drama of my suffering. She has, however, always taken a satisfaction in my current inability to cum and my future chastity.

Most of all, she wants the certainty of things she's decided to stay decided so she doesn't have to make more decisions. Thus, for Xena, any chastity lockup system requiring constant consultation is bound to be a fail.

I had sort of  (in the way we masochists think) hoped that she might go all Diva on me: "YOU WILL STAY LOCKED HAHAHAH!" But instead, each discussion triggered her sense of responsibility, forcing her to at least consider input from me, including how long I'd already been locked etc etc.

Which is why I bought a Kitchen Safe time lock safe. We could have one brief discussion for each period and then - subject to emergencies when the safety key could come out - I'd remain locked.

I presented the box to her on Saturday night.

She considered the dial and tutted. "I'm never sure about sports. What about if you got injured running?" she said, "or at football?"

"Running's fine and I take the emergency key to football. It's in my coat with my wallet and so on, so if I ended up in an ambulance with a broken ankle I'd have it."

"But what about the paramedics?"

I shrugged. "They're used to fishing things out of people's backsides. It would be slightly embarrassing but not life changing."

"OK," she said and I got to watch as her elegant finger turned the dial. She paused to do a calculation then clicked the button. "I've given you six days and eight hours," she said, handing me the safe.

The feeling was indescribable. A kind of erotic panic, the kink equivalent of walking over one of those glass bottomed canyon bridges.

She didn't tell me her feelings.

However, she did masturbate while I watched, kneeling in the corner, thus costing me another penalty day.

---

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Designing (and Wearing) the Perfect Snug Male Chastity Device: the Details

The first attempt at a truly snug device didn't work out. However, the second one has worked out so well that I can't show you a picture of it on its own - I haven't removed it since it arrived ten days ago!

Here's a capture from the animation Lady Fox sends these to custom device clients):

You'll notice it's a really simple shape. There's also a simple hoop-shaped base ring and no rear hood. There are reasons for this...

Day 9 of 24/7 Lockup in my new custom Custom Chastity device...

Last night I'm kneeling in my corner and making my usual report to Xena.

"You'll see my emergency seal is unbroken," I say. "That's me more than through a full cycle of all my weekly activities..."

"Yes. Well done," she says, sounding as if she means it.

That surprises me a little. I know she likes me locked, but Xena doesn't articulate about kink much, mostly because it comes from her more playful side, but partly - I think - because she doesn't like owning her darker side.

However, I'm not sure I do deserve a well done, though, since wearing this thing requires no effort whatsoever.

Penises are like breasts; the owners generally avoid bumping them against other people! So not much change of behaviour is required to avoid discovery. I also don't want her to think this is any kind of endurance test.

"The device continues to be totally practical and discrete, mistress," I say. "I can - in theory - wear this indefinitely."

"Good," she says, and there's a smug satisfaction in her tone that makes me go hard.

"I don't get anything out of the risk of discovery," I add, because I want to reassure her. "But I like not having to take it off. And I think it reminds me to be a good submissive and focus on my tasks."

"So I noticed," she says and then we move onto but me reporting on chores and professional targets.

We've been doing this for a couple of years, but in the last week she's gained a comfortable ruthlessness in her dominance. Even so, I don't earn any demerits or penalty days. She even summons me to bed before she goes to sleep. (Not like the night before when she left me in the corner and I had to wait out my default 15 minutes in the corner.)

As I lie next to her, I realise that we didn't even discuss when I might remove the device.

---

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

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GET THE "FOR HER" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)

(For ebook format, 

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Day 7 of 24/7 lockup in my new Custom Chastity device (quick update)

It's Monday, day seven of my 24/7 lockup.

I've jogged almost every day with no problem. I've reverted to more natural sleeping positions thanks to the lower profile. 99% of the time, when I go to pee, the slit and slot are already aligned. If not, a quick prod with fingers does the job.

Meanwhile, Xena having my key seems to have boosted her dominance. (But of that more later.)

Overall, this feels like a device I don't want to ever remove, and need not have a practical reason to during normal life.

---

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

GET THE "FOR HIM" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!
GET THE "FOR HER" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)

(For ebook format, 

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A first look at the new Magic Lock Custom Chastity device! (including pics of me wearing it)

Today, for the first time ever, my wife went to work with the key to my chastity device, leaving me locked in with the emergency key sealed away for real emergencies. She could do this because there is no routine practical reason for taking off the device.

Yes, Custom Chastity have produced a "magic lock" male chastity device. They sent it to me to review and I'm wearing it right now!

I can't show you a picture of it without me wearing it because when it arrived I hurriedly put it through the dishwasher then locked myself into it. That was Tuesday - today's Friday - and I haven't taken it off since.

Look, here I am!

Yes, really. I'm wearing it under tight stretchy trousers. Look again...

When should I feel OK to wear my male chastity device? (The Ethics of 24/7 Wear Part 2)

...wearing a male chastity
device outside the home

What people don't - ever - know usually doesn't hurt them, so as long as you stick to the Iron Rules of 24/7 chastity (broadly don't get caught in, or distracted or limited by your device), you are not doing irreversible wrong.

However, if that was all there was to it, then things like non-consensual voyeurism would be fine (which it obviously isn't) as long as you weren't caught!

It's certainly possible to wear your chastity device in ways and places that make you feel guilty, even if it seemed like a good idea at the time. You may also later feel awkward explaining your actions to a partner, or your partner may feel awkward about exploring your chastity fetish.

So how do we make moral sense of wearing a male chastity device outside the home and in social and professional situations?

...going out without underwear

We can start by thinking about the range of stealth erotic things women do: for example going out without underwear, wearing sexy panties, having a secret tattoo or piercing, or walking around with Chinese balls inserted.

Which would be OK in the street? At work? At a family party? At a funeral?

At one extreme we have Chinese balls. They are OK in the street, but not at work unless it was really boring and you had reason to hate everybody. They'd be wrong to take to a family party, and creepy at a funeral.

Because Chinese balls are a sex toy designed to get you off, using them automatically exploits or objectifies the people around you. This feels fine in purely public spaces - where people expect to be lusted over by strangers anyway - but wrong as you cross from the public space into more personal and private ones.

Chinese Balls

At the other extreme we have intimate piercings. There's no situation in which they are wrong to wear because though they may be about sex, they are not actually sexually stimulating unless we think about them. They're just part of who we are, perhaps part of our armour against the world, or a secret expression of our full identity.

Everything else lies on that Sex Toy-Piercing spectrum.

Going commando, is sexual but not as sexual as a sex toy, so OK at work, wrong at a family party, weird at a funeral. Wearing sexy underwear is mostly like a piercing, but a bit like using a sex toy (because of the thrill), so wrong at a funeral but OK otherwise...

Sometimes they're sex toys, sometimes
 they're like piercings

Probably.

And so on.

Now back to our male chastity devices. Sometimes they're sex toys, sometimes they're like piercings - valued for their presence rather than their stimulating effects. To complicate things, we often have the option to remove them.

For these reasons, it's easiest to look at behaviour rather than motivation. When we do that, it gives us two Golden Rules for Public Chastity:

Golden Rule #1: Give yourself more leeway the longer your lock up

The longer you've continuously worn your device, the closer it is to being a like piercing; about identity and perhaps comfort.

If it would be wrong for a
woman to masturbate...

So if you are going out with friends, don't put it on specially! And if you're wearing randomly, you should probably remove it. However if you're locked up for days or weeks, then wearing it to the pub or to a dinner party is fine.

(And, if you've been locked up for truly epic periods of time, then you probably also have a pass for funerals - you'll might even feel more comfortable wearing it, though for god's sake don't get caught!)

Golden Rule #2: Don't treat your device as a sex toy in inappropriate situations

Even if wearing 24/7 is business as usual, if at a private dinner party, it's wrong to run off to your host's restroom and take a chastity selfie! 

The line isn't hard and fast between appropriate and inappropriate, but if it would be wrong for a woman to masturbate, then it's also wrong or in poor taste to get hard and drippy in your device, or take selfies or take risks for kicks.

The Golden Rules are about what kind of person you want to be, rather than what harm you do. However, if you follow them, it will also be easier to justify wearing and reduce the harm if caught out.

(So what about that surgeon? Assuming the stories are true, then he broke my two Iron Rules: by being careless, he freaked out his colleagues and upset his patients; and by (allegedly) getting turned on  by secretly wearing, he (may have) distracted himself from very serious tasks. That strikes me as pretty selfish.

He also seems to have broken my two Golden Rules. He'd have to be a very long-term wearer before it would be OK to go into the operating theatre chaste! And he seems to have got sexual kicks out of wearing it to work.)

---

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

GET THE "FOR HIM" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!
GET THE "FOR HER" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)

(For ebook format, 

Lulu or iTunes.)