100 days of Living with Permanent Chastity

My wife is treating permanent chastity
as an indefinite relationship phase. 

Permanent chastity! This is nuts!

100 days on, I'm still sealed into my chastity device and Xena's talking about no need to unlock me until a flight in August(!).

So, no key, no emergency key.

No way out without messing around with hairdryers or very hot water.

And the worst - best? - of it is that my wife is treating permanent chastity as an indefinite relationship phase.

It's as if we just moved house, she's settled in and this is fine for now. Sure, we'll relocate again, but it's not on the cards right now. And moving house is not something you do on whim, right? She certainly can't be bothered with all the fuss, and she's in charge.

So, I'm not on tenterhooks wondering when she'll release me. Instead, I've just accepted that this is how things will be for a while, which I suppose is the difference between "permanent" and "open ended".

What's it like?

Day to day, the frustration isn't too bad. The balls aren't actually steam boilers. A couple of weeks in and you get as horny as you're going to get, and the frustration is like a little energising motor in your groin.

The frustration during sexy time... that's exquisite. A gorgeous feedback loop between panic and masochism.

Mentally, it's interesting.

On the one hand it confirms me in my submissive role. Locked means submissive, and I'm permanently locked. However, it's also actually healing. I can never pretend to be not submissive, never ignore that part of my identity. Even so, I'm still me.

It's also relaxing. Being irrevocably sealed in with no emergency key, shuts down all those wearing micro decisions, e.g. about whether to really go to a meeting locked. It also washes away any moral qualms - this is who I am.

Emotionally... emotionally it's nice. I've arrived at my logical destination, as low as I can go as a sub, and not only does Xena still want me, she also made this happen.

Because really, she did. Looking back over our entire relationship, especially the FLR, there's a pattern:

Me: Shall we make this temporary and limited kinky change to our relationship?
Xena: Oh god. Are you sure? I suppose so.
Later...
Me: Well that was fun.
Xena: What do you mean was? We're still doing it. Oh and I can't be bothered with these limits.
Me: Yes, mistress.

Originally, she was just looking to lock me up until mid October. I was the one who pushed the seal idea. Then, suddenly everything became open ended.

Careful what you wish for.

The same thing happened four years ago when I suggested trying demerits to real domestic targets, and she propelled us into an FLR, and years before that when we started doing female-focused Femdom, and she established chaste service as our standard dynamic.

So I am feeling utterly validated, totally myself, very frustrated in erotic moments, and as submissive as heck.

What about practical issues?

There aren't any. I can live pretty much as normal in this device other than being more cautious about using public urinals, and being careful not to let people bump my groin.

The it's the diabolical practicality of the Custom Chastity Saint that got me into this mess.

Careful what you wish for!

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