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I don't know how other writers do it, but if I can only manage about 30 mins of writing porn before I really need an orgasm. Once I've got off, then the erotica muse deserts me.
However, on chaste days - six days a week, seven at the moment - the frustration doesn't just keep me writing, it drags me into the story away from my comfort zone.
I'm not sure what my comfort zone is any more!
Generally my fantasies about real-world BDSM adventures divide into...
Doable Fantasies: Things I expect to do - like pegging and extended deep slavery - or have already done - bondage, whippings, being teased, long-term chastity and orgasm denial.
I'm amazed by how much of this stuff I've experienced in real life - I got whipped at the weekend and I wake up every morning in my Holy Trainer 2 chastity device.
Unrealistic Fantasies: Things I'm sure I'd like to do but will never get to.
Xena is straight, for example, so I don't think I'll ever serve two women. Even so, I'm fairly sure that - just like in the Enslaved by Posh Totty series I'm writing right now - I'd be very content to be a slave in a F/F household, as long as I could truly be a fly on the wall and possibly serve as a sex toy (also unrealistic for obvious reasons).
I'd probably also enjoy spending a really extended period - say more than a month - in deep slavery. However, I think Xena enjoys the normal parts of our relationship too much for this to happen.
Dream Fantasies: Things that take Doable and Unrealistic fantasies to their logical conclusion and beyond the point at which I would enjoy them. This can be as simple as permanent chastity, or as extreme as "real" slavery.
It's disturbing in an exciting way how many of my fantasies have moved up that list and spawned more extreme versions.
When I was young, being a slave for an evening was a Dream fantasy. I couldn't imagine, e.g., actually enjoying waiting around on my knees. When it turned out I enjoyed dipping into the reality, then it became Doable. However my fantasies about doing it for longer also become Doable, with extended slavery shifting to merely Unrealistic and permanent slavery became a more developed Dream fantasy.
In the same way, 24 hour male chastity also started as a Dream fantasy. Once I experienced a little overnight chastity, it became Doable and my more extreme Dream fantasy, 24/7 chastity, shifted to merely Unrealistic. And we know how that worked out...
So yes, reality can be like Femdom erotica.
Is there a way to tell which fantasies work in reality? I suspect it's to do with real world cost. But that's a blog post for another time.
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