Tuesday, 20 May 2014

How we ended up in a Female Led Relationship Part 2: 360 Degree Trust

(I'm backtracking to work out how we ended up in a Female Led Relationship --  see part  1.)

Stage 5: Femdom Sabbaticals start (about a year ago)

About a year ago, there was a two-week hole in my diary; no contracts, not sporting engagements. Xena agreed that I could spend it as her slave, then more or less forgot (though interestingly she didn't notice that I had been submissive for two days running!) and needed reminded.

...my god it hurt
It was an interesting two weeks. I learned the uncomfortable truth that I really am a submissive, and we both enjoyed the lack of conflict and the tidy house. In other words, we had a sample of the FLR lifestyle and found it fitted us both beautifully.

It was also something of a shakedown cruise. I nearly ruined the whole thing by over-sharing and topping from the bottom, all things that put Xena off Femdom in the past. However (as we shall see) I learned my lesson, and Xena handled my failings within the Femdom context.

From then on, whenever a weekend or part of a weekend was clear, we'd make a sabbatical of it; me serving and going to sleep as her chaste slave, then serving the next day until whatever commitment our busy lives had lined up.

Stage 6: Real angry punishment and full 360 degree trust (about a year ago)

During that first sabbatical, I was bugging and demanding, and Xena's irritation mounted. However, rather than calling the whole thing off, she handed out demerits and then gave me my first genuine punishment. It really was a punishment, she really was angry, and my god it hurt.

Victorian-style thigh-high socks!
Apart from being incredibly hot to think about, and to serve in the shadow of, this was a watershed. I could trust her not to break role, even when I  genuinely made her angry.  She could trust me to be her slave, even when she dished out experiences I would rather avoid. Call it 360-degree trust.

Christmas boots

Stage 7: Xena takes ownership of the Femdom (just under five months ago)

We had a romantic weekend planned, and Xena declared she would "bring her Christmas boots", meaning the sexy knee-length boots she bought in the Christmas Sales, the ones she knew I wanted her to wear when she dommed me.

This was the first time ever she had spontaneously suggested something to make the Femdom sexier. The way was open for me to get her to help pick Victorian-style thigh-high socks and shop for sex toys.

Stage 8: Xena turns sadist

There followed a second entirely successful two-week sabbatical at home, then our "romantic" weekend. By the end of it, Xena had definitely started to embrace her sadistic side. (Ouch).

100% authentic, mutually enjoyable
 and reliable part-time Femdom
At this point we had finally arrived at 100% authentic, mutually enjoyable and reliable part-time Femdom, pretty much my Holy Grail.

True, the only "sex" we were having was Femdom sex.

However (a) at least we were having that -- many middle-aged couples just have a dead bedroom, and (b) this was supposed to be a temporary holding strategy.

We could have continued like this indefinitely. However, instead, we toppled over into a Female Led Relationship. I think this was almost entirely because of our particular personalities, and our respective work situations. However, it will take some more thought to untangle.

(See Part 3)

Don't just read about other people enjoying Femdom! Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?

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