How we ended up in a Female Led Relationship Part 1: Making it real and routine

More than a hundred days in, and we're still in a Female Led Relationship. I'm trying to work out how we got here!

There are clues in my blog, but most of the important steps only turn out to be important looking back. Worse, Xena isn't big on talking about stuff like this!

Here's what I think happened..

Stage 1: The Femdom became 100% real and routine (leading up to two years ago)

...she really was treating
me as a slave.

Over the preceding five years or so, I'd taken the approach set out in Getting Her to be a Vanilla Dominatrix; I tried to tailor all my Femdom suggestions around Xena and her various moods. There were setbacks, I messed up a few times. Even so, Xena started to ask for her slave from time-to-time. 

The big breakthrough came -- as she once let slip -- when she realized she could treat me "how the hell I like". First this meant falling asleep without considering my erotic needs. Finally, one memorable weekend away, she realized that she could enjoy Femdom without any erotic action at all. She ordered a massage and then fell asleep, leaving me chaste.

If that sounds frustrating, it was. However, it was also utterly hot and deeply satisfying because she really was treating me as a slave. 

Stage 2: Dead Bedroom except for Femdom (culminating about a year and a half ago)

The Femdom "sex"...was doing fine

This happens to an alarming proportion of married couples in middle age. Despite loving me, and being an affectionate wife, Xena simply lost interest in our sex life. Lots of things were to blame: boredom and familiarity; stress at work; and me losing my job, which seems to have triggered an odd evolutionary psychological effect in her. Vanilla sex became uninvolving, infrequent, unintimate. The Femdom "sex" -- with me in a chastity device -- however, was doing fine.

I read the usual self help guides for married couples, some useful, some dry as dust. However nothing made much difference because she simply wasn't interested. Sometime during the next few stages I simply gave up; I had already found a cure for the Dead Bedroom.

Stage 3: Xena asks for Femdom to be the default intimacy (a year and a half ago ago)

About a year ago, Xena asked -- in her round about way -- if we could stop having penetrative sex and stick to Femdom in the bedroom. I initially hedged, but ultimately agreed. The Femdom was so much more exciting than the depressing vanilla sex, and I would in any case trade my orgasms for hers.

Stage 4: A practical 24/7 male chastity device (a year and a half ago)

...a cheap Chinese chastity device

Spurred on by Xena's request, I splashed out and bought a cheap Chinese chastity device. (It was fine, though I would advise anybody now to go straight to the Holy Trainer 2.)

Up to this point I had been using a DIY chastity device made out of polypropylene webbing. It was actually pretty good, however not really practical for spending time outside the house or in the company of others. 

The way was open for longer periods as a slave...

(See Part 2)

Dare you introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?