Thursday, 27 June 2013

A dominatrix's vulnerability - don't do this at home!

Fern's has written a wonderful post on what it feels like to be the dominatrix in seemingly trivial domestic situations. Her sub has run out of toilet roll. She wants him to fetch some but...
“Really?” he asked, “But it’s *snowing*!” [Hmmm... okay is he really resisting, or just needing a push?]“Yes, really,” I said. [A little push.]“What?!! Come on!” [I try to read him. He is half kidding with this over-the-top response, I can feel it. I'm pretty sure he will do it, even if he is pushing back...]
Skip over and read the rest of Fern's post - it's awesome, as are the comments.

Now, consider the circumstances. Ferns is a self-identified dominatrix, so the power balance within the relationship is about 50/50. If she pushes him too hard, or in the wrong way, then she may lose the sub.

If you have persuaded your existing partner to turn vanilla dominatrix, then your situation is different.

 "...for all matters domestic you need to think like a s
tereotype pre-Feminist housewife..."
(pic source)
Both my Femdom self help books focus on the idea of what's in it for her?

If she's not kinky, she can still enjoy owning a slave in the same way Roman ladies enjoyed owning male slaves; guilt free domestic service plus massages with happy endings can be a pretty strong proposition.

This falls down as soon as she has to second guess herself before sending you out to buy toilet roll!

Yes, if she wants some heavy BDSM action, or hits your triggers, you need negotiation and safe words. However, for all matters domestic you need to think like a stereotype pre-Feminist housewife.

The vanilla dominatrix project only works if you accept the risks of authentic slavery; in any given session, you may be bored, uncomfortable, sad, or frustrated.

In the long run it will be worth it...

For more on Femdom for vanilla wives and girlfriends,  see my Femdom self-help guides....

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