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Thursday, 26 April 2012

Two kinds of Femdom submission...

A friend's recent post got me thinking about the two modes of Femdom submission.

Submission is like love... probably is a kind of love, so it has two modes:


Submission the process

Submission the Process
This is the place for a lot of traditional  "scenes" and certain kinds of "play" as limits stretch and the tested sub goes deeper into their submission. It's also about those moments of passion when you fall at her feet and... well... submit.

But, just like love, it can't be like this all the time...

Submission the state

Submission the State
Imagine the toyboy of a Roman domina; he doesn't have time for expressions of undying submission, nor is his owner likely to go in for theatrical tests of his submission, because his submission is a simple fact.

A real - historical - slave lived in a state of submission. In Femdom, that  kind of state is the logical result of the process of submission.

This is the Femdom equivalent of comfortable but deep romantic love. Lovers share space and time, and enjoy eachother's company. An erotic slave serves and his mistress enjoys his service. If his devotion interests her, then there's ritual as well; he worships and she enjoys being worshiped. However, none of this is dramatic.

Getting it right

Humans just don't do boundless passion on demand! And, if the process of submission is powerful enough, then it can only lead to the state, for a while at least.

In a long term relationship Femdom is probably no different from any other kind of sex. Realistically, vanilla couples have loving sex as standard, with passionate lovemaking as the occasional peak experience. In the same way, Femdom couples can realistically expect submission-the-state as routine, with wild BDSM Femdom for matinee performances.

Moreover, some couples can't really achieve submission-the-process. Perhaps she's too self-conscious, or not forceful enough to dominate him. Perhaps he's so deeply submissive, there battle's over before it begins. In this case, submission-the-state is the only kind that's available.

The good news is, both kinds of submission are deep, real, valid. I suspect it's best to revel in what you have at any one time, rather than to try to force things.

For help in building any kind of Femdom relationship with your vanilla partner, try my book!

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