Become Her Slave!

My once-vanilla wife now loves keeping me as her chaste slave. Learn how to get some Femdom in your life too!

Make Femdom Work When She's Vanilla

Don't be that couple

She's vanilla - not kinky - but adventurous
in bed. 
He's 
kinky and submissive. 
She's vanilla -- not kinky -- but adventurous in bed. He's kinky and submissive.

It was fun at the start but now she's bored and confused by his demands, he's sick of hearing himself whine for more Femdom... together they're spiraling towards a dead bedroom and eventual breakup.

If you're heading the same direction, or determined to avoid the taking the wrong path, then my books can help you establish a Femdom dynamic that truly works for both of you.

I'm not touting some grand theory of Female Supremacy. He doesn't have to talk funny ("...this slave obeys Her orders..." etc). She doesn't have to learn tricks with ropes and whips. Nor do you have to go along to your local BDSM club or find a mentor.

You just have to do Femdom "for real".

Let me explain.

You see we were that couple until I saw a certain Ancient Roman fresco and realized what was going wrong.

Feast your eyes on the Roman Femdom fresco that changed our sex life forever!

This fresco is from Pompeii, nearly 2000 years old and it's real:

Roman Femdom fresco
He's a slave and he's going down on her. She's giving the orders. She's not kinky. She just likes oral sex.

I checked, and, yes, once upon a time rich Roman women kept male slaves for pleasure. A male slave could be disciplined, objectified, kept in chastity (they did that) and denied even though his mistress was utterly vanilla.

How come Femdom routinely worked for Ancient Romans and not for us? What was I doing wrong?

The answer, of course, was that I was not being a "real" slave. Once I realized that, everything else followed. Nowadays I have all the kink I can handle and my wife is developing a playful sadistic streak.

Why does doing Femdom "for real" work so well?

It's much easier to be selfish
than to be kinky.
It sounds potentially disastrous! If he's her real slave for the night (or the weekend), and she's not kinky, isn't he going to be bored and disappointed?

Actually, yes, he will be bored and disappointed quite often, especially at first.

This is a long game. It's about establishing a sustainable Femdom space in your relationship, not getting a quick fix on a Saturday night. (Also, some boredom isn't always a bad thing for submissives because it blurs into delicious frustration...)

However, let's stop worrying about him for the moment. Up until this point the kink has been all about him, which is why it isn't working!

Doing Femdom for real works for the same reason that Roman women purchased male slaves: a slave can give her things she couldn't or shouldn't get from a normal relationship.

What's in it for her?

Everybody likes to be served and pampered.
Why would a vanilla woman want her partner to be her slave?

  • Everybody likes being served and pampered.
  • It's much easier to be selfish than to be kinky.
  • Discipline makes sense when it has a real purpose.
  • She can be kinkily playful with no expectations from him.

What's in it for him?

Why would he want to be her "real" slave? How is this better than playing out scripted BDSM scenes?
  • If she's having fun, he can feel secure and relax into his role. 
  • Since the service is real, so is the submission. 
  • Her selfishness generates Femdom as a byproduct: accidental teasing, denial through neglect, objectification through the logic of service, for example. 
  • Since the discipline gets her something she wants, she's more likely to use it. 
  • Power corrupts.

That last point is important.

A happy service dynamic is a good starting point compared to what went before. However, as the power relationship becomes real, the dynamic can slide over into something mind blowing. Here's why...

Power corrupts!

There are two scientifically proven glitches in human nature:
  • Pretend power relationships quickly become real. 
  • Routinely hurting people gradually becomes fun. 
In other words, the more a couple does real slavery, the more real it becomes, the more she'll enjoy being mean -- which is what he really wants, right?

Careful what you wish for! 

We ended up in a Female Led Relationship, with me racking up hundreds of days of chastity, and serving as a humble slave every evening before sleeping in chastity, and all because of that Roman picture!

You don't have to go that far.

However, wouldn't you like to go a little way down the path we've taken?

My Femdom manuals can help both of you!

Everybody's different, but the principles and pitfalls are the same. My books draw from our experience and that of others plus modern psychology to help you skip the mistakes we made and get to the part where you both enjoy a part-time Femdom relationship.
  • If you are a male submissive who needs to tailor his kinks to his partner and then ask for them in the right way, then buy Getting her to be a Vanilla Dominatrix. [iTunes][Epub][Kindle][Nook] [PDF] Find out more...
  • If you are an adventurous vanilla woman with a submissive partner and want to enjoy getting whatever you want through Femdom, then buy How to be a Roman Dominatrix. [iTunes][Epub][Kindle] [PDFFind out more...

Getting her to be a Vanilla Dominatrix (for him)

Buy now! [iTunes][Epub][Kindle][Nook] [PDF]

"Hermit Mode"
Wouldn't it be nice to get the vanilla woman you love to enjoy sexually dominating you? Sorry, all the persuasion and pleading in the world won’t turn her into an all-strutting, all-teasing and denying latex super-bitch! 

"How to ask for kink"
The good news is, you don’t have to turn her into anything. You just have to sell her a part-time slave – you!
    This book takes you through offering her what she can’t and shouldn't get in your real-life relationship, and how to manage the results – yes, you’re the one who has to do all the work.

    • The Law of Ten, and why so few women feel they need kink, let alone Femdom. 
    • What slave-owning Ancient Roman ladies can teach us about Femdom. 
    • How to create a Mode Chart for your partner. 
    • How to fit your fantasies to her vanilla (i.e. non-kinky) needs. 
    • Advice on experiencing different fantasies. 
    • How to ask for kink! 
    • How to gradually sell yourself to her as a part-time slave, without driving her crazy (or making her think you’re crazy). 
    • How to keep things going in the long term. 

    Buy now!  [iTunes][Epub][Kindle][Nook] [PDF]

    How to be a Roman Dominatrix (for her)

    Buy now! [iTunes][Epub][Kindle] [PDF
    Ancient Roman ladies enjoyed having male slaves, and - yes - they did put them to erotic use. Why does modern bedroom Femdom have to be so much effort? What’s in it for you?
    "Ancient Roman ladies enjoyed having
    male slaves... why does modern Femdom
    have to be so much effort?"

    Written from experience by an otherwise normal (!) submissive male, this book is for women who are sexually adventurous but have neither the time nor inclination to embrace BDSM culture just in order to satisfy their partner’s fantasies.

    It WON’T teach you to be a “good” dominatrix, nor guide you through clubs and munches, nor drill you in bondage, topping or protocols, nor help you negotiate scripted scenes, nor expect you to manipulate your man, nor urge you into a Female Led Relationship.

    "...sexually adventurous but have neither the
    time nor inclination to embrace BDSM culture..."
    It WILL use techniques drawn from modern psychology to help you build a strictly part-time Roman version of your relationship… and to make that mistress-slave relationship feel 100% real. (But no need to pretend to be Romans!)

    You need never feel silly or awkward or at a loss. You’ll always know what to do because you’ll be following your natural inclinations, albeit unrestrained by consequences or reciprocity. 

    Relax and be… self-indulgent, introvert, extrovert, mean, affectionate, playful, practical, flirtatious, sensual, clinical… you. There’s a good chance that, as a byproduct, enough of his fantasies will be satisfied to make it worth his while.

    You get to be yourself. He gets to be your slave. You get to have a hot secret couple adventure. Everybody gets to be happy.

    Learn how to enjoy
    dominating your man!

    2 comments:

    1. I want to start a blog of applying your book to our marriage. There is a favor I'd like to ask. How do I reach you?

      ReplyDelete

    Tell me what you think!