Thought Experiment: What would it take for Chaste to be treated as a gender?

Our fetish looks awfully
like an expression of gender.

When you look at it carefully, the male chastity "fetish" looks awfully like an expression of gender, so much so that it looks more like a movement than a kink.

Even if we ignore the crossover into feminising and sometimes trans, there are enough solo practitioners egging each other on, enough straight couples with penetration off the menu, to indicate that male chastity is at root, not about "leverage through keyholding", but about his penis being "disarmed": he can get orgasms, perhaps, but never an erection, and she - if there's a she about - often prefers him that way.

This shouldn't be a surprise! Eunuchs were always objects of desire for both sexes, and there is still a sub culture around castration. We can see male chastity as "neutering lite".

What if we run with that and imagine how "Chaste" might be treated as a gender in the way that, for example, non-binary is? (And yes, I'm talking about male chastity here. I've "seen" female permanent chastity on the Internet, but I'm not sure whether the roots are the same or not.)

For a start, what would that mean?

I think Chastes are defined by being...

Masculine and subject to desire, but artificially impotent, and thus necessarily tending toward sensuality and erotic service. 

Our paradoxical niche would be somewhere around concepts like:

• Non-binary
• Gender-flipped shemale ("hefermale"?)
• Gay Best Friend Who's Straight 
• Male Lesbian 
• Safe Flirtation "Victim" 
• Admirer You Can Safely Take Advantage Of. (The controversial "Friend Zone" would become the uncontroversial "Chaste Zone".)

...being a Chaste would give us access
to spaces and intimacies forbidden
to our unchaste
fellow men.

In this imaginary perfect world, being a Chaste would give us access to spaces and intimacies forbidden to our unchaste fellow men. We'd fit in with the LGTB+ scene (just to be clear: this is not going to happen!), we'd be sought after by women who liked men but were unkeen on penetration, we'd be regarded as ardent lovers offering the safest possible sex, but also the safest possible male companionship, sometimes to be taken advantage of. Perhaps we might become trophy partners to be flaunted as proof of sexual magnetism.

For all that to come to pass, we'd need three things: security, verification, and visibility.

Any mainstreaming of Chaste men relies on security. Without real security, our chastity is only ever provisional. We still have penises that could come out at the wrong moment, in non-consensual or merely unlooked for ways. We can still potentially pull out to commit infidelity - the only barrier is embarrassment.

Perhaps as damaging to potential Chaste identity, it makes our our chastity seem like an ongoing conversation rather than a done deal. From the outside, we become about "will he?/won't he?", and our identity could be read as a challenge to turn us back.

Ball-gripper devices aren't enough, it has to be a piercing (unless the something like my Happy Happy Chaste Boi Purity Device comes along). This is a serious issue, because PA piercings are not easily reversible.

Security also means you don't have the , which leads us to verification.

There has to be some way for the rest of the world to know for sure that the device is on, that the key is elsewhere. That means having a trusted keyholder to vouch for you. However, having some kind of certification isn't enough; we're only a gender if we are visible.

Visibility means having some kind of hard-to-appropriate visual marker of Chaste.

I suppose we could wear kilts and be prepared to flash, but it would be too easy for frauds to wear a kilt. So that leaves a collar that's hard to get hold of, that only gets removed by the keyholder (otherwise, being cowards all, we'd only be visible when dating).

So we have piercings, keyholders, and collars. How would this work?

Realistically, there could be a peer-to-peer community, based around an app... a kind of Uber Eats for people who like chaste men - it would probably start in the more adventurous gay community. Verification would involve some sort of peer network, or perhaps piercing parlours could act as keyholders and collar custodians. The system wouldn't be perfect, and would rely on reviews. (This is where one of my erotica series will go, by the way.)

However, there's nothing about that system that would necessitate the wearing of a collar, and it would remain under the radar socially.

More effective, but less realistically, would be... imagine an official government programme. Here's how it would go:

On reaching 18, the Chaste goes for mandatory counselling. He has to wear a device without a piercing for 6 months. There's nothing stopping him from getting off during this time, but typically, he'll take a gap year before hitting college.

After 6 months, he visits a hospital Chastising Unit. He has his PA piercing done by Carbon Dioxide Laser, which is painful but makes for rapid healing. He is immediately fitted with a surgical chastity device and his first collar.

For security, the collars and chastity devices are made of a glass composite. There's no lock on either, but you need a special licensed machine to safely bend them open. They have barcodes and prominent numbers embossed on them, and hard-to-fake holographic inserts.

So here's the rub.

There's still nothing stopping him from having an orgasm, either by rubbing the head of his dick or using a vibrator. It follows that there's no reason for him to remove the device while he's part of the program.

Every year or so, much like random drugs testing for athletes, there's an inspection. The collar and device remain government property, so there are heavy fines for anybody who "vandalises" them.

It also makes sense for him to make monthly visits to a licensed verifier - probably a piercing parlour, but could be a Post Office(!) - to have his device checked and his barcode scanned. This updates an official database accessible via an app, itself feeding into dating sites.

If he wants a break, he can go back to the Unit and get everything removed. He can do this no more than once a year.

After one year of continuous wear, he's eligible for three upgrades.

• He can go "spiked". A "spike", a device like an IUD, is inserted in his urethra. It sits against his prostate, rendering orgasm impossible. His collar acquires gold flecks. The spike can normally be removed at 6 months notice, depending on waiting times.
• He can go "permanent". He gets a new black tinted collar, but the device stays on. It can be removed at a year's notice, but he can only make that appointment once, and whether or not he actually attends.
• The ultimate upgrade is to be both "immaculate" and "permanent", meaning you get to sport a black tinted collar with gold flecks. 

No, none of that is going to happen.

However, what would you do if it did?

I'd take the basic collar at the drop of a hat, and I think I might end up spiked as well. However, I would not have the courage to go permanent, though I would be sorely tempted.

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Growing Up Kinky: Straight Malesub as a Sexual Minority

Dommes have a much longer
road to travel thanks

Recently I was taken to task for commenting:

...I was thinking, "What would it be like if mainstream (liberal) culture was as affirming of young malesubs as it is of the rest of LGBTQ+?"
And the answer was, "Not much better" because dommes have a much longer road to travel thanks to gender roles and the way femdom is portrayed.

Roughly: Malesubs aren't actively persecuted, we can pass as normal, can safely hold the hands of our partners in public, and how dare I even think about calling for the same amount of support? (Which I wasn't; you'll see why in a moment.)

As mysticlez218 puts it, "Every minority faces their own struggles which are unique to them with no one being worse or better. They all suck in different ways."

I want to talk about the experience of being a straight malesubs and how we are a sexual minority, and in some specific contexts, a disadvantaged one.

This matters because, though we are low priority in the grand scheme of things, we still have to live our lives.