Thursday, 1 December 2016

Characteristics of a Submissive Thrall

Thralls want to serve, 
as in really serve
(If you've just tuned in, then "thrall" is my term for a submissive who submits for real. You are still a "real" sub or a dom if you don't thrall. I just think it's time we identified this flavor and gave it a signal boost.)

Things like this article from my friend Ava Ex Machina got me thinking:
So oral worship huh? That’s your primary thing?” he asks.
“One of many things. Even vanilla women tend to like oral sex.”
“I don’t, at least not giving anyway. I don’t eat pussy. I’m old enough now that I know I just don’t like it, never have. Don’t do it.”
“I understand if that’s not your thing, but it’s a deal-breaker for me. I’m not really into play that’s only about pleasuring the submissive.” (He had just finished telling me in extensive paragraphs all about his desire to be pegged.)
“A deal breaker? That’s fucking ridiculous.”
And then the... gentleman outed and harassed her by proxy at work. And she reflects:
...entitlement to my body, my sexuality, my space still exists, a function of how men see women: consumables, objects available for their sexual consumption.

We are defined by our submission,
not your dominance

Submissive Thralls wouldn't do this! It's not that we are good people or think we are the "nice ones" -- #notallmalesubs -- it's just that we wouldn't want to. 

When we submit, we want to actually submit. Yes we have our hard limits, but they are of the "Danger Will Robinson" type, not "Me no like can we skip to my blowjob" kind.

So much for what we're not. Here's some of what I think we are.

1. We are defined by our submission, not your dominance. Yes, you may or may not "dominate" us or have a "dominant personality". 

Regardless, we want to submit to your authority as if it were Ancient Rome and you owned us. When you say come here, we come here. Our limits serve as safety barriers, not guide-ways.

2.  We like doing things we don't enjoy. Partly this is masochism. Mostly, it's proof of our subordination. That means that if we don't enjoy giving head, we'll still gain some satisfaction from doing it. Moreover, if we're doing it because you just want an orgasm that way, then we really don't want you to second-guess our experience. The same goes for leaving us kneeling in the corner, or having us spring clean an entire apartment. Or whatever.

We're more interested in your wishes than our fantasies
3. We want to serve, as in really serve. I don't mean serve by licking boots or wearing panties or weathering a beating. I mean serve as in doing things that would make sense to a vanilla observer. 

Yes of course you can play with us if you want, but we also want you to have us give you a foot rub, cook you dinner, clean up, not because it's a fetish but because we are your submissive.

4. We're more interested in your wishes than our fantasies. This is partly participant voyeurism. The pleasures you seek when you have "permission" to be selfish are far more intriguing than anything we might imagine. However, it's primarily about experiencing actual submission rather than fantasies resonating with submission.

5. We like it when you don't focus on us. You can if you want -- if you enjoy torturing and teasing and BDSM for effect. However, you don't have to. You can, in fact, just kick back and enjoy being in charge. What's in it for us? Again, submission and voyeurism.

6. We still want to submit after we've come. If we get to come, we still feel submissive after ward. We'll bring you a nightcap, tuck you up in bed, and -- if that's what you want -- crawl off to our cell, and do all this long after the afterglow has faded. In the morning, we'll bring you breakfast in bed, even though we're too groggy to feel horny, and it's a work day anyway.

In short, when we're your thrall, we're as low maintenance and consistently obedient as if you owned us.

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  1. well said. it isn't always easy to achieve and maintain this level of mental submissive space, but it certainly helps to know that it is a shared goal.

    1. It's very easy if you are with the right person. Then you just... let go.


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