Ask Giles: What do you mean by the Service Model of Femdom? Why do you dislike it so much?

The Service Model of Femdom

Femdom as depicted on the internet and elsewhere is based on what Pro Dommes do, which is mostly doing things to the malesub. It's all about her achieving an effect on him. The domme, as depicted, may or may not be getting paid, and either way there's a happy assumption is that she enjoys wielding the power of pleasure and pain over her sub. That makes Femdom the rough (and more time consuming) equivalent of the vanilla blow job, and like it, it looks awfully like a service.

This is true even when the Femdom "play" is around him performing service: either the service is clearly not an actual service - boot licking, fellating a dildo, lubing up for pegging - or all about her battling to force him to serve and/or the way he dresses etc to do so... in other words, still about him, and still really looking awfully like a service provided by her to him.

There's nothing wrong with any of that. Some women really enjoy wielding power that way, or like being the magic kink fairies, or just enjoy pleasing their partners. (Much like some women really like giving blow jobs, and it's not always a submissive act.)

However, the Service Model has two potential issues. First, it tends to position the domme as a roleplaying the idea of dominant woman rather than just being one off the leash. That kind of improvisation is actually surprisingly hard to do and it's the opposite of empowering. Second, it's often not sustainable long term except as an occasional treat because it requires so much mental and physical effort.

These issues often combine to discourage dominant women from pursuing actual Femdom, which seems a pity for them and the world in general.

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