"How to be a vanilla dominatrix" - what line to take?

(SEE UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ENTRY!)
 
I’ve been quite surprised by the number of vanilla women requesting copies of my “Vanilla Dominatrix” book! I also see similar women popping up on Fetlife looking for advice on dominating their partner.

For this  reason, I think it might be useful to do a female follow up, “How to be a Vanilla Dominatrix” – if gay men can write sex tips of straight women, then a sub can help a wannabe domme. 

What I’m hoping you fine folk can help me with is; what approach to take.

For those who haven’t read it, “The Vanilla Dominatrix” pushes the idea of doing Femdom for “real” on a part-time basis – no scripts or scenes, not much negotiation, and no need for the domme to posture or put on an act.

The objective is to create a space where the rules are different and she really is in charge. You get there – or not – by suggesting carefully selected Femdom activities that extend who she already is… if she likes flirting, suggest teasing games, if she enjoys being pampered, serve her, and so on. With luck, she starts enjoying being the vanilla dominatrix of the title.

Now, if I write a female oriented book, it would have a similar objective – there are other writers with more experience of 24/7, fetish clubs and scenes etc.

The snag is, there are two different possible approaches, and they don’t sit well together:

Option 1 Callous

Basically, forget his fantasies, what would *you* use a slave for? This is not entirely bleak for him; couples tend to have complementary dark sides – for example, if she likes mute service, he probably enjoys being used like a robot.

A proportion of the book would present BDSM as a toolset for getting what she wants.

I think this is the most empowering option, but some readers might find it too cold or cynical. There’s also the risk that it’s a bit much to expect her to take responsibility for the kink.

Option 2 Cooperative

Really, a reworking of the original book from the female perspective. Investigate his fantasies and work out which ones fit you, and how.

There would have to a listing of common sub fantasies, what’s in them for her, and how some of them can be fulfilled without going to great effort.

I think this is the most loving option, but risks shifting the focus on his pleasure and not hers.

So, what do you guys think?

UPDATE

Wrote it!

I ended up doing a bit of both, and writing an entirely fresh book called "How to be a Roman Dominatrix". So far I've had very positive feedback about it.