Sunday, 15 February 2015

Did 50 Shades of Grey miss the trend?: How many women fantasize about sexually dominating their partner?

46.7% of women fantasize about
dominating somebody sexually.
Find out how to not mess it up when you meet one.
Good news! 46.7% of women fantasize about dominating somebody sexually, according to a survey of 1,517 Quebec adults.

64.6%, meanwhile, fantasize about being dominated. So rather than 50 Shades of Grey revealing the dark truth about women's sexuality, it really just revels in one of several dark truths.

Sure, two thirds of women get off on the idea of being dominated, but roughly a half of them quite like the idea of doing the dominating.

Better yet, since 53.3% of men have submissive fantasies, it follows that the true sexually submissive male to potentially sexually dominant female ratio is 1.14:1, pretty much one domme for every sub.

Depending on what female switches really do, this is slightly better or much better than the estimated 1.6:1 to 4:1 ratio in the active fetish community.

But the game changer is: these new statistics are for the whole community, not just the active fetish one.

Just think about it. Half of modern women are potential dominatrixes.

...if a woman has a dominant fantasy
it's likely to be a fairly soft one...
Learn how to sell yourself to her as a slave!
Half of the entire pool... the pool of every single datable woman in your city, the ones you have other stuff in common with, not just the ones who pop up in the Fetish community. Those are pretty good odds if you approach it right.

It feels as if something has changed. Are modern women simply more confident and empowered? Is it that there are more dominatrix-like role models on screen and in books?

One thing that I think is very clear is that you can't assume these dominatrix fantasies are off-the-peg ones, or match what the webcam dommes get up to.

"Dominate" implies a dynamic, yes, but only 23.8% of women imagined spanking or whipping somebody, and 10.8% were interested in "forcing" somebody to have sex. However, 41.7% imagined tying somebody up for sexual gratification.

So, if a woman has a dominant fantasy it's likely to be a fairly soft one, and -- I'm betting -- she's still unlikely to have done anything about it, or even be prepared to admit it.

That means that, if you are compatible in other ways, you still need to approach Femdom honestly but with care, always asking yourself "what's in it for her?"

Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her


  1. This is just excellent ........... Thanks so much for this post. Although I have been supportive of the topic of D/s going mainstream because of 50 Shades .... I have also wished that the notion of males submitting to Females would be part of the conversation. And now it is a little bit more. Thank you.

    1. Thanks! (If you want to make this part of the conversation, do please share the link around. These stats need to be heard.)


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