So how easy is it to get women to dominate you when vanilla dating?

...looking back -- I persuaded an inordinate
proportion of my girlfriends to do Femdom

I was dating pre-Internet, pre highly-visible BDSM. Judging from Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden -- which was pretty much all we had -- mainstream women's fantasies rarely stretched to Femdom.

Even so -- looking back -- I persuaded an inordinate proportion of my girlfriends to do Femdom.

I can recall in detail ten girlfriends before Xena. (If you recall, 70% of my past girlfriends didn't really need my penis, and 40% didn't really want it.)

• My first, I never asked. We had some oblique conversations about fantasies. I suspect she wanted me to tie her up.
• One flat out refused to do it. 
• One did it a couple of times but wasn't that interested.
• One did it, really enjoyed it, but was uncomfortable with the idea of "having that kind of power".
• Two did it, really enjoyed it, and cheerfully initiated it again.
• Three enjoyed tying me up whenever I asked -- either it was fine as part of their sexual repertoire, or else they really enjoyed it but needed permission.
• One dommed me once, was pretty incredible -- actually a bit scary -- but I spoiled it by topping from the bottom.

...my kind of girls; strong, adventurous,
broad-minded.

These were all my kind of girls; strong, adventurous, broad-minded. However, none of them could really be described as alternative or connected to the "scene", which barely existed for young people back then.

Even so, all but two of them gave it a go, and six of them seemed to enjoy the basic concept. That's a 60% success rate -- pretty good odds when looking for any sort of compatibility when dating, 

The trick was... wait for it... Just Ask (but without making a fuss).

Looking back, I was an appalling "do-me sub" mainly obsessed with getting tied up -- I didn't know any better!

Had I been more focused on what's in it for her?, the girl that wasn't interested might have enjoyed other Femdom activities, and the one who was good at it would have had an opportunity to explore her own desires rather than mine.

The trick was... wait for it... Just Ask
(but without making a fuss).

And, of course, the Femdom would have been more in all the relationships where it was present.

Now we live in an age where almost everybody knows about BDSM and almost half of women admit to having Femdom fantasies.

So go look for play partners in the Scene if you want, but don't give up on the idea of dating within the vanilla world!

EDIT: Interesting Reddit threads here , here and here.

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Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her.