|Does the fantasy |
of submitting to a
life of only
vanilla sex get you
hard and/or drippy?
...they said, “it could be the ultimate submission, giving up your kinky side to please your partner”.The kink world variant is:
If they are truly submissive, then they will obey when you order them to dominate you.There's a hole in this logic - a category mistake, I think.
However the real problem is that it comes from too much clever reasoning and not enough reality, so let's start with the reality instead:
Then, no matter how clever the spin, meta submission isn't going to make you feel very fulfilled as a person, so probably don't want to do it.
If that's not convinced you that meta submission his horseshit, then read on...
|Romance is only one aspect of vanilla love. The other |
is desire - the earthy need to fuck to mutual satisfaction.
Think about vanilla love.
Straight people want to get intimate with their opposite numbers, bi with either gender, gay men with other men and lesbian women with other women.
Yes, people make mistakes and see what there's not: the object of their affections may not be able to reciprocate - the spark just isn't there, or perhaps their genders and orientations don't match up.
However, even though our culture says romantic love is selfless, statements like, "If you truly love me, then you will be happy with a sexless partnership" sound manipulative and accepting them makes you a bit tragic.
That's because, whatever fluff we wrap it up in, romance is only one aspect of vanilla love. The other is desire - the earthy need to fuck to mutual satisfaction.
You can't have love without desire because they are two sides of the same coin. You feel romantic to a person you desire. You desire a person because you feel romantic toward them.
It makes no sense to demand that your orientation make you feel good about giving up your orientation!
|We submissives want to surrender to the person|
we want to submit to, and want to submit to
the person to we want to surrender to.
It's not just to do with what gets you off, submission is about who you are and what fulfils you. It's the intimacy and romantic channel - or an important one - that works for you.
Just like vanilla love, submissive love has two aspects: I'll call them service and submitting.
Service is what we do when we set out to fit around or partner, to please them out of bed and in non-sexual ways... even in ways we can't eroticise. (It's something we have to be careful to manage if we also want vanilla aspects to our relationship.)
Submitting is the earthy desire to serve and suffer in the kinky bedroom (or dungeon).
|It's amazingly easy to get vanilla |
partners to at least try kink
When we started, Xena was vanilla! Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner...
CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)