Friday, 15 March 2019

A Therapist On How To Love An Angry Woman (And Why Not To)

A therapists talks about loving angry women, and why it's a bad idea. Go read!

He doesn't really touch on why:
My conscious mind said, “Get away from this woman. She’s dangerous.” My subconscious mind, the mind that was attracted to danger and excitement said, “Hmm. This could be interesting.”
We dated for a few months and the time together left me exhilarated and exhausted. I wanted to leave, but I also wanted more. Anyone who has been in a relationship like this knows the addictive draw that some of us have to danger and excitement.
We got married despite most of my friend’s warnings. I thought they just couldn’t see her wonderful side. And there was a wonderful side. She was intelligent, adventurous, inventive, and very, very sexy. I had my own anger issues and there was a quality of a moth attracted to the flame. Many of us who grew up in dysfunctional families confuse love with addiction and excitement with risk-taking.
Yeah, right. Thing is, I recognise this. My first relationship (mid teens) was abusive.

Looking back, I can see I was in the grip of my underlying submissive/masochistic "orientation". If I'd known that was a thing, I would have avoided a lot of toxic relationships.

I also have this sense that some angry women would be less angry and maybe happy if it was OK to be dominant (not necessarily erotically). Normative roles are constricting.

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