My first(!?!) year in permanent chastity

"Expect to be locked for at least another year."

"I like things this way," says my wife. "Expect to be locked for at least another year."

"Yes, mistress."  I say, scared and relieved. 

"Relieved" because we've been approaching the one year mark, and I've been feeling unsettled and insecure. 

Masochism is weird. I don't want this adventure to end, but I need her to not want it to end, because at the same time I could really do with an orgasm... and all this churn makes me leave my comfortable submissive headspace and enter the Hell that is meta.

Also, lockdown has been bad for our sex life, and now things are starting to pick up again I want to see how intense things can get.

But no, the adventure is going to continue, and I'm going to stay locked.

Sealed.

"a diabolical permanent chastity device"

If you've just tuned in, there is no key. I'm the test pilot of a diabolical permanent chastity device from Lady Fox at Custom Chastity. 

---there is a locked cock picture at the bottom of this post---

It comes with 6 snap-in seals, that you have to drill out before you can remove it. A new pack could be about $200, which is a feature not a bug because it empowers a shy keyholder with excuses: "Oh, but we've only got three seals left. You'll have to wait another week." 

Diabolical, right?

How hard is it to drill them out?

I have no idea! I still have 5 of the original 6 seals left, or Xena has... somewhere. 

"I still have 5 of the original 6 seals left"

When I gave her the pack, my wife tossed it in her drawer and forgot about it. At the time, she didn't think the seal made any difference - she could keep me locked as long as she liked anyway.

That changed, which is pretty much what I expected.

Looking back more than a decade, Xena has always had a fire-and-forget attitude to male chastity, or wanted to. 

Right from early on, she liked me locked. Back when I was using a pretty good DIY full belt of webbing and plastic, she wrong-footed me by asking if I would consider always doing it like this.

I fluffed the moment, but over time the vanilla dropped away and chastity with Femdom became our default... our love language.

Things took off when I bought the first Cheap Chinese device, which wasn't perfect but was practical for 48 hour wear. She liked me locked, but the business of locking and unlocking, of controlling me was just irritating for her.

As we progressed through Holy Trainer, then on into early Custom Chastity models, I needed less unlocking, and so she unlocked me less.

A couple of years back, she wanted to keep me locked "for a couple of months". I suggested a polymorph plastic seal, and I ended up chaste for ten and half months! 

She just never got around to releasing me.

The adventure only terminated because we had a beach holiday coming up, and the device was just slightly too visible through swimwear.

So just over a year ago, my new device arrived. Xena told me to put it on, which I did in private with no ceremony, and that was that.

"she declared that actually this was an improvement"

A month in, and she declared that actually this was an improvement, because she could keep me chaste and ignore me if she wanted and there was nothing I could do about it.

She had talked about me doing a year, New Year to New Year, but then said it would be "until things changed" then joked about me having years ahead of me, then the conversation I opened with.

She's clearly succumbed to the two key features of this device other than the limited supply of seals:

First, there's no practical reason for removing it, ever. OK, foreign travel and doctor's visit are would probably result in removal. However, the material and open design mean there's never a problem with chafing or hygiene, and the low profile - only possible because of the permanent locking mechanism - means it can be worn under board shorts or a wetsuit.

"low profile... because...permanent"

Second, installing it symbolically removes all responsibility from the keyholder. It's designed to be permanent out of the box, and requires tools to escape. Anybody who snaps the seal in is saying they really are going to wear it indefinitely if required, and demonstrating that they think it's possible.

So, suddenly Xena had neither responsibility nor reason to second guess me. When I prodded her, she agreed it was the male equivalent of having the coil fitted, except that rather than birth control it was chastity that she no longer needed to think about; it was now a done deal. The only better thing would be a fantasy government scheme where I would be fitted with something permanent and inescapable...

Eek!

The effect on our relationship was interesting.

The kink mostly went away!

Just as chastity was a done deal, so was Xena being in charge.

No whippings, no demerits, but Xena became utterly matter of fact in giving me orders and task lists, and totally selfish when it came to getting personal service, meaning everything from long massages through to waking me up to fetch her water from the kitchen.

I missed the thrill of living under of discipline, but happily sank into a deep submission, and a year later I'm still there. 

Last Saturday, Xena gave me 80 very painful lashes, so I guess that phase is over. I think we were both processing and adjusting to what turned out to be a significant change in our relationship. 

"Xena gave me 80 very painful lashes"

What about the future?

Xena says that I can remove the device any time I like, but then I won't be her slave, and that's the only way she can relate to me sexually. That alone would be enough to keep me sealed in. The suffering is real - such is the nature of masochism that I am genuinely ambivalent. However, I'd rather have too much Femdom, than no Femdom and no sex either!

Of course, there are other factors.

For a start, the feeling of being trapped is awesome. Xena only has to say, "There is no key" and I fall into this weird feedback loop that results in arousal so intense I almost lose all sense of self.

Then there's the sunk cost. The longer I'm sealed, the more I would be giving up by drilling out the plastic rivet. Not only would the months locked lose their impact, but having broken the seal once, permanent chastity would never feel quite so permanent. And the anticlimax would be horrible.

Next there's the fear of an orgasm after a long period of abstinence. My experience is that it will hurt, sting my penis and make it swell like a balloon, cause an allergic reaction around my genitals, and trigger sickness and depression. At this stage, a "quick wank" would just be unpleasant.

Finally... well... I'm a submissive. Permanent chastity for my wife is about as submissive as I can get.

This has been my fantasy for as long as I've known about male chastity. Now I'm living it, and to be honest I'm still processing the reality.

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