Thursday, 23 March 2017

Why the Hermione and Ron marriage would work - Feminism and asymmetric relationships

Champion/Commander - a perfect pairing!
(NSFW If you've wandered in here from google, be warned that this blog is mostly about kinky sex and Femdom.) 

So JK Rowling - a woman who married a younger, less famous man who we hope supports her career! - regrets pairing Hermione and Ron.

A proportion of fandom agrees with her: Harry and Hermione should have been together.

This is just plain wrong. Stable relationships don't tend to work like that.

(And there's a Feminist angle on this too, but we'll get to that.)

The only reason we can't readily see this is because Ginny Weasley doesn't get much screen - or page - time, so Harry Potter's romantic conclusion is a bit of a blank.

What would a Harry/Hermione marriage be be like? 

H: "How was your day, honey?"
H: "I did important stuff and now feel drained and grumpy."
H: "Me too."
H: "How are the kids?"
H: "I haven't seen them yet. I've been too busy."
H: "Me too. What were there names?"
H: "So shall we just brood separately this evening?"
H: "Sure."

A complete disaster!

"So shall we just brood
separately this evening?"
Ron on the other hand?

Ron Weasley is a pillar of strength and no wimp either. He's a regular hero, but he's a hero devoted to Hermione. Where she goes, he'll follow.

He'll also make her laugh, pop her serious bubble, and roughhouse with the kids. Where she has intellect, he has emotional intelligence.

Where she is sensible, he is playful.

Both are wise in their own way.

R: "How was your day, honey?"
H: "I did important stuff and now feel drained and grumpy."
R: "Well George and I came up with a new invisible delayed action fart bomb."
H: (Laughs) "How are the kids?"
R: "Making mud sculptures with their wands right now."
SFX: Sound of magic making mud splattering. Children giggle.
H: "I'll change then go take a look."
R: "So Friday night. Shall we go dancing?"
H: "Um. I'm tired but....(grins)... what the hell, you only live once."

How can they not be the perfect match? the bedroom it can come
out as dominance and submission,
though it need not.
Most people sit on a spectrum between what I call Commanders and Champions.

Neither is weak or worthless, one tends to take control and the other to support.

Once has the vision, the other refines and embraces it.

Both have their roles to play: every King Arthur needs his Sir Lancelot.

Harry and Hermione are clearly both Commanders, and Ron is pretty clearly a Champion.

And all the stable marriages I've observed are Commander/Champion pairings (though these are relative positions within the relationship, not absolute.)

In terms or respect and worth, and negotiating position, these are equal marriages. In terms of leadership, they are asymmetric, and that asymmetry can go in either direction.

And of course, in the bedroom it can come out as dominance and submission, though it need not.

Despite a century or so of Feminism, we're still not surprised by a relationship that revolves around the male partner. tends to take control
and the other to support. 
Male Led Relationships are still a cultural default. Female Led Relationships - even though they've always been with us - are still not regarded as a conscious and mature choice for a powerful woman... "Oh look she picked a weaker man", as if strength had anything to do with it.

Imagine if the genders were flipped?

Serious, powerful Herman married playful but fiercely supportive red-haired Rona? 

It would make perfect sense. We'd even talk affectionately about, "...bubbly Rona who always brings Herman out of his shell".

So let's praise the Harry Potter stories for being able to depict male-female friendship, and for not having Harry and Hermione drift into a weird stormy on-off relationship based on mutual admiration rather than compatibility.

And let's ditch the sexism and accept that it's OK for a commanding woman like Hermione to pick a life partner who will revolve around her, making both their lives better.

Learn how to how to walk the same Femdom path with your partner! 

CLICK HERE to download my Femdom Erotica (all written while chaste!)
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