Sunday 14 May 2017

The (highly pervertable but not designed for self-bondage) Kitchen Safe time lock safe

A time lock safe!
The Kitchen Safe is a relatively inexpensive mass market time lock safe.

That is to say, it has a lock controlled by a countdown timer.

Make no mistake. The Kitchen Safe is not designed as a self-bondage key safe.
Frequently Bought Together!

The website, which I won't link to for fear of embarrassing the no-doubt very vanilla company, makes a big thing about how the safe helps with impulse control and mental addiction.

The FAQs are full of questions about whether it will take a game controller and so on. I am certain most of their sales are for people who want to, say, lock up the chocolate cookies until 5pm the next day.
Even so, when Amazon - where I bought mine - shows us frequently bought together, guess what we see?

Because though it has many worthy, normal, vanilla uses, the Kitchen Safe is also the Holy Grail of self bondage and male chastity...

(And if you ended up on my blog because you are worried about your chocolate addiction, and don't feel comfortable with BDSM, then now really is a good time to go elsewhere!)


Little knob extends to lock the lid to the jar.
I got my Kitchen Safe from Amazon and went for the standard size one. It of course arrived in innocuous packaging and comes in a cardboard box that advertises its life-changing virtues.

However, I myself bought the safe because I wanted Xena to be able to specify my lockup in my nice new Custom Chastity device ahead of time in a concrete way - but that's a different blog post.

Once open, you get a tough square cooky jar with a rather heavy lid with a time display, just like the pictures on Amazon. The instructions are clear, and the device is really easy to use.

You set the time by turning the dial, then clicking it. You get 5 seconds to cancel... then with a whirring of an electric motor, the little knobs extend to lock the lid to the jar.

The countdown timer counts down, then at the appointed moment, the device clunks and the lid unlocks.

The batteries are accessible when it's locked, meaning a flat battery neither seals it forever, nor opens it early.

Batteries accessible
when locked.
Finally, you can add (but not subtract!) time by simply tapping the dial and turning it some more.

So, to sum up the features..

The good

  • Looks vanilla: a cookie jar with scales on top.
  • Lid works however you put it on.
  • Set time up to 9 days. (Increments of minutes, then hours. As you get past a couple of days, two turns of the dial adds another day.)
  • Add more time at any time.
  • Very easy to use.
  • Batteries accessible when locked. Removing batteries puts counter on hold.
  • Price point means you wouldn't casually destroy it to get the keys.
The bad
  • Looks vanilla - this is not a sexy device!
  • Cookie-jar sized - not something you can slip into a bedside drawer. 
  • Vaguely intriguing to those who spot it.
  • Technically possible for something to fall or press on the the dial so that it increases the time setting.
Possible kinky uses
  • Self-bondage sessions! (I don't need to do this these days.) The key to the bondage equipment goes in the safe.
  • Xena can stipulate my future chastity lockup, with no possibility of a change of mind or buyer's remorse for anything less than a real emergency. She can also extend my lockup without waiting
  • Xena can leave me chained overnight, The key goes in the safe and is available in time for me to wake her by serving her breakfast.
  • Cooling off period. (I can't see a use for this in our relationship, but...). Chastity device key goes in the safe, set for 24 hours. However the batteries are then removed. Any decision to unlock me requires replacing the batteries and then a 24 hour cooling off period.
I am an idiot

As I sit here, I am already locked for 6 days and counting (down) and this innocuous looking time lock safe has already had a profound impact on our dynamic, of which more later...

UPDATE I am an idiot.

They actually come as Mini as well! In my defence, the Amazon listings... sigh.




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