CB anti-pullout using pubic hair and surgical tape 36 hour update

(NB This post should have gone out the day before)
Well that's my pubic hair and surgical tape system tested for 36 hours including two nights and two showers.

(Updated version)

So far, there's been no discomfort. The tether seems to have stretched a little but not come away. (When showering, it's important not to strain the tether and to give it time to dry afterwards.)

How secure is this piercing-free anti-pullout solution?

Of course no chastity device is secure. There ought to be some sort of scale! 

On its own my device is secure when I am hard. With the tape and washer system, I cannot pull out without cutting or breaking the tether. Tools - scissors - are required.

This means pulling out:

• Requires a sustained conscious act.
• Might be noticed, or wake a sleeping mistress.
• Would be obvious from inspection.

This is different to a piercing only in degree, and has the advantage that you can remove it without trace.

Would it work for long term or permanent male chastity?

The surgical tape has the advantage that it is easily removable. However, for  a longer lockup I will use rubber solution glue and some sort of gauze. 

How long would that last?

Google tells me that human hair can last at least a year, perhaps longer. In an ideal world, as the tether hairs fell out, new ones would grow, so one would simply create a new dreadlock when the time came.

This need not entail removing the device. The initial dreadlock could be extremely extended, making it easy to thread through and attack before snipping.

UPDATE: I used this from Sunday evening through to Thursday afternoon. On unlocking, the tether was still sound, the pubic hair still in place. However, the tape had slid down the length of the hair somewhat, thus stretching the tether. Better tape, I think, would do the trick.

(Read more on customizing your Chinese chastity device.)

For adding male chastity to your relationship, try my Femdom self help books available in a variety of electronic-formats.

Permanent Chastity Self Hypnosis?

Male Pet sent me a link to an amazing site with professionally produced chastity self hypnosis "tapes". It's a really seductive approach to resolving the security problem. I think we do this to ourselves to an extent anyway.

The recording I listened to was very much geared to the keyholder dynamic; she enjoys controlling his sexuality.It conveyed a lot of power to the keyholder, including the power to switch the dynamic on or off. It also had some built-in safeguards for safety and privacy.

One for our dynamic would be a little different. My mistress likes me enslaved and chaste for our D&S time; there's no interest in controlling my sexuality so much as negating it. Meanwhile, I like being "chayste" for the drawn out plateau of sensuality and the way it resolves various issues I have with masculinity.

If I were writing a tape for men like me and if I were being a bit irresponsible and setting out to generate insecurities, it might go like this:

* * *

"Your device protects you
from her terrifying vagina."

Your device is your destiny.

Your device keeps you clean no matter how filthy your mind. Before the device you were a drooling pervert, a freaky porn addict, one hand glued to your repulsive groin, always dirty. Your device is your salvation.  

Your device completes you. You cannot remove that part of yourself without again becoming a needy weakling, a pathetic loser, a failed wanker, as disposable as a semen-soiled tissue. Your device is your self respect.

Your device hides your secret shame from your Mistress. If she knew about your selfish, squishy, sticky penis then she would reject you and you would be alone in your guilt, forever. Your device makes you lovable.

Your device protects you from her terrifying vagina. You would not get far into her slippery tunnel without being drained and destroyed, then rejected as unworthy. Your device is your shield.

There is nowhere to go outside your device. Inside your device you are warm and safe while you sail on waves of desire. You are the captain, hard and strong, navigating the ocean of your inner darkness. Outside the device, you would plunge into the cold to be thrown up onto a bleak beach, shivering, shriveled, sordid and solitary. Your belong inside your device.

You are your device.

* * *

The big snag with that as a hypnotape, of course, is that it would be very hard to switch off. Looking back at it, I think the effect would be to make a man permanently chaste...

Sabbatical in Slave Land - 4 Day Time Lock Chastity

My hand hovers on the mouse. "OMG! I can't believe I'm going to do this:

I click through Check, Save, Start... and there I am locked up until Friday.

Up until this point I've been locking myself in increments - Overnight... 24 hours and so on. There's always been a potential end point near to hand. This time I've launched myself at Mars and gambled everything on the equipment working.

The padlock combination is encrypted and now I really can't get out, not without using tools and feeling like a failure while I do it.

And I feel aroused, awestruck and strangely relaxed. Absence of choice is a blessing. For the next four days I'll just have to live with the frustration. (I felt quite macho too, until I saw that Locked n Denied has riveted on his chastity device for a life of permanent chastity!)

And Mrs English? She likes me chaste and compliant and is coldly indifferent to my suffering... which is itself a horrible turn on for me.

It also works very well for both of us. I "enjoy" being chaste. I don't enjoy the will I?/ won't I? experience. It's just irritating. Meanwhile part of what my wife enjoys about our shadow relationship is that she can just shut off her empathy and get things done her way. Having the key would give her responsibility, or at least force her to engage with me.

For actually building a Femdom corner of your relationship where you can both enjoy playing with male chastity, see my Femdom how-to guides...

CB anti-pullout using pubic hair and surgical tape update...

I've done my first overnight test of the anti pullout system:

Go to updated version.

I substituted a small washer for the cable tie, and used surgical tape instead of glue. This had the advantage that I could extend the "dreadlock" and secure it to the washer such that the hair wasn't under tension.

The effect is interesting and discrete: you can't actually see the tether without looking very closely. The pubic hair simply vanishes into the base ring. The penis feels stuck - it just won't come out.

I installed this 9 pm last night, and wore it overnight. It survived some quite intense arousal. We've yet to see how it does in the shower...

For getting your vanilla partner happily involved in all this, try my Femdom how to guide... [iTunes][Epub][Kindle][UK Kindle][Nook].

Sabbatical in Slave Land - First Night Disaster - More Trust

So my wife falls asleep and I'm lying there in my chastity cage. I'm sensibly wearing supporting underwear, but  there are other problems:

I've drunk too much coffee that day and had curry for dinner - end result I keep having the urge to pee.

Then there's the issue of not being able to masturbate. It's been a long few weeks at work and - thanks also to the coffee - my brain keeps going round and round. I'm not pornographically turned on, but normally I'd calm myself by taking a mental trip to one of my  fantasy worlds, get off and go to sleep.

Now, instead I'm tossing - the wrong sort! - and turning and making toilet trips. Add to that the problem of not feeling like I would ever get to sleep, which is self-fulfilling!

Thus, neither of us had a good night's rest, and it was all my fault; I should have had alternative sleeping arrangements as a backup.

The next night, we're both exhausted and any sort of sexual activity is off the menu. I get a little passively pushy, she gets irritated and I start to panic that she'll pull the rug out. But - get this! - she gives me a demerit for disorganizing her wardrobe when putting clothes away (click!), one for the broken night (click!), and one for being pushy (click!). Each click of the counter reverberates in my cage.

Wife gets a foot and back rub - no extras! - and a cuddle,  then passes out.

I've got a sleeping bag in the lounge, but I don't need it. I'm out like a light. It's part that I know I can go to sleep - after all I dropped off on the previous night, but mostly that I trust her to stay in role. If I make her cross, there will be consequences, but they'll be Femdom ones.

It was a very secure "compliant husband" who fell asleep that night.

In the morning, she ate breakfast in bed and gave me my tasks as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

For spicing up your sex life with some time limited FLR, see my Femdom self-help guides....

Sabbatical in Slave Land - Trust

"What are you doing this evening?" asks my wife just before she goes out with the girls.

"Well," I say, "Since I'm being 'compliant husband', I thought I would work through those chores."

"Oh!" She laughs. "I hadn't realized."

I wave my hand at here. I'm wearing a discrete wrist band. "Remember? We talked about this."

Compliant Husband

"Ah. I was thinking that the wristband was supposed to mean something."

Now it's my turn to laugh. "I've been 'compliant husband' all day yesterday and today! Are you saying you couldn't tell the difference?"

"Well I was feeling well looked after..."

* * *

We're at the start of what in my How to be a Roman Dominatrix book I call a "sabbatical".

I'm on the beach  at home for a couple of weeks and she's working weekdays only and not on call. A while back she agreed I could be her "compliant husband" during this golden window.

Compliant Husband is our low key mode. I'm not much different from a submissive old fashioned housewife except for the chastity device, the demerit counter, and the possibility of darker slave/mistress sessions. I'm myself, but I don't argue with her and I do chores to her satisfaction. Pretty much time-limited FLR.

We also agreed in general I would flag my chaste compliant status with a wristband; this gives her a "take it or leave it" choice without having to actually say "no".

But she's forgotten everything!

* * *

I mentally squirm because this is not a moment for talking about erotic things. I'm scared of rejection, scared of losing the Femdom. But we're not talking about sex or fetish here, just service so I stick to my guns.

"So, what do you want me to do?" I ask - a nice neutral question that could let her terminate the experience if she wants.

"Oh well. Give the bedroom a proper clean - dust and vacuum. And there's a wash that needs to go on..."

She comes back later, tired and full of food;  she has work tomorrow and no kind of sex is on the menu tonight. I give her a foot rub which turns me on horribly, but just makes her ready to sleep.

I don't pester. The point of being a compliant husband is that I comply! So soon we're sitting up in bed reading.

"What are you going to do tomorrow?" she asks.

"I'm trying to decide..." I say, an open answer to an open question.

"Do the kitchen," she says, "I proper deep clean."

"OK," I say.

"And leave that thing of yours on."

"OK. That way you'll get better service in the morning."

"That's what I was thinking." She gives me a cat like expression. "And in the evening." She kisses me. "Good night."

My penis rears up inside its cage and I'm still hard when I come back from tossing the key in bushes outside our front door. She, however, is asleep.

* * *

People talk about "trust" in D&S. In our kind of relationship, the most important trust is the one she has in me: she trusts me not to presume or pester, to really be a compliant husband or slave. (The fabulous Ferns says something similar.)

There may, or may not, be wilder BDSM later this week. If it happens, it'll be all the more intense for several days of chastity on my part.

And the house will be clean and tidy.

For spicing up your sex life with some time limited FLR, see my Femdom self-help guides....

7 days of Femdom Fails

I have some questions for you subs...

1. Kink can make us feel isolated or inadequate. Has your kink ever got in the way of your love life? What did you do about this?
2. Sometimes we just fail to pluck up the courage to ask. Looking back, was there a relationship where Femdom might have worked if you had suggested it? Why didn't you ask? Was it a lucky escape?
3. When we do manage to ask for Femdom and get a "yes in principle" it seems hard to follow through by initiating a kink session. Have you ever done this? Are you still waiting? If you put it right, how?
4. A common mistake is to introduce Femdom to a relationship, but the wrong kind for our partner. In hindsight, is there a relationship where you did this? What happened? What could you have done differently?
5. Kinksters often joke "careful what you wish for". Did you ever end up out of your depth or doing something it turned out you disliked? Did you pull back or try to adapt? Did you manage to keep the kinky side of the relationship going?
6. "Topping from the bottom" is the proverbial worst sin a sub can commit. Have you topped from the bottom? How did your partner respond? Did you manage to fix things, and if so, how?
7. New doms can make uncomfortable discoveries about themselves and then run for the hills. Has this happened to you? Is there anything you could have done differently?

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