Tuesday, 14 January 2014

How to feel good about being a sexual submissive

"...not much in the vanilla world can
crush and humiliate us any more;
being a submissive 
you stronger. "
Being a submissive takes getting used to. Not the experience itself, though that takes practice. I mean the fact of being a submissive.

"It's only a game" doesn't get you very far. The role feels way too comfortable to be dismissed so easily. The inescapable truth is that part of you is a submissive, and that doesn't gel with our ideas about adult dignity and self determination. Worse, if you are a man, you may secretly fear that it means that you are a wimp and a loser and if you are woman submitting to a man... well, it goes against the Feminist grain.

The good news is that there are better ways to look at your sexual preference:

1. Submission is a delicious secret identity

Accept that you are a submissive, but refuse to identify with it. Instead it's a separate, secret part of your life. Enjoy that secret; the people around you have no idea what you've done or what you're capable of!

2. Submissives are strong

We submissives do things that would emotionally destroy other people, and we come out the other side flushed and happy. You have to be strong to do that! Better yet, after a while, not much in the vanilla world can crush and humiliate us any more; being a submissive makes you stronger.

3. Submission is a subversive extreme gender sport

"As a male submissive,
you get high rejecting
traditional masculinity."
Submission is about more than just getting off; there's the adrenalin and the endorphins, the excitement and the glow. So it's reasonable to think of it as a kind of extreme sport.

Rather than jumping off bridges with elastic ropes tied around our ankles, we are make patriarchy our plaything.

As a male submissive, you get high rejecting traditional masculinity. As a female submissive you turn traditional femininity into a kink.

That's subversive, isn't it?

For adding some Femdom to your relationship, try my BDSM self-help guides....

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