Missed FLR opportunities and second chances... Part 1

"It's a work night so you'd better go into the en suite and do yourself," says Xena, reaching for her book.

She glances up. "Actually
I prefer you this way."

It's about a year ago.

I'm locked into a chastity cage. I've just pleasured her.

She's being so matter-of-fact that I'm terrified she's bored by the whole arrangement. "Are you still OK with all this?" I ask.

She glances up. "Actually I prefer you this way."

I realize she not only takes my chaste submission for granted, she also prefers it to normal sex!

My penis lurches against its bars. I can't find the right words so retreat to the bathroom.

It's not exactly a bombshell.

Xena is not a prude, but is fastidious. Penis-in-vagina sex is messy and like most women she comes best with oral stimulation. My wife needs to be very turned on to forget this, and we've been together something like twenty years, and she has a demanding job, so those high-energy romantic moments are few and far between. Meanwhile, erotic service has pretty much replaced all the mediocre sex.

A week or so later we have an over-nighter.

After a long massage and oral sex, she curls up next to me and says sleepily, "I don't suppose you'd consider always doing it like this?"

"I don't suppose you'd consider always doing it like this?"

"The idea's a turn on," I say. "But only because I like normal sex."

She mumbles something and drifts off.

A few weeks later and and we haven't had any vanilla sex, just me servicing Xena on a roughly weekly basis. I come to a horrible realization that not only don't I mind, I also prefer it this way too!

Sure, mutual, passionate lovemaking is awesome. However, it's very hard to return to the abandon of our youth. Meanwhile, meat-and-two-veg marital sex--get her off through foreplay then an orgasm for me PIV--feels increasingly shoddy. And there's this other thing; a sense of rightness about male chastity and submission.

So, why not just walk this path for a while? We're having more erotic interaction than most married couples.

And I realize that Xena gave me the things I most wanted--acceptance, permission and approval--and I hemmed and hawed.

I was offered more intense Femdom and I blew it. Could I get a second chance?

The snag is that Xena doesn't naturally do in-depth discussions about relationships and sex. Following BDSM culture's "communication communication communication" mantra will just irritate her.

"default mode"

I pick my moment very carefully. I wait until she's enjoying a massage and feeling chatty.

As I roll my thumbs down her spine, I open with, "I was thinking about what you said."

"What did I say say?"

"That you preferred me this way," I say, now working on her waist.

"Oh?" says Xena. "Did I?"

I laugh. "Yes you did. I'd like to go back to normal sex, but I'm in no rush. How about we assume this is the 'default mode' from now on."

"That suits me," says Xena.

"I like this..." I say.

"I know." She rolls over. "Pass me my pajama top."

A few minutes later, I'm under the covers doing what I do best. She falls asleep just after she comes and I'm left to slope off to the bathroom, unlock and "do" myself.

A good recovery on my part, but--as you'll see in the next entry--not a lesson learned

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?