Thursday, 2 April 2015

Our updated Female Led Relationship Contract

I'll post this here for reference, then go through it with comments in another entry.
This contract reflects our evolving dynamic. The rules create effects that please Xena, but Giles is responsible for keeping track of them.

Our Female Led Relationship (FLR) remains in effect between milestones.
The next milestones are September 2015 and September 2016, unless Xena judges that financial or work circumstances have changed.

Except in exceptional circumstances, we will solve any issues within the framework of the FLR. However, Xena may suspend elements for practical reasons.

On reaching a milestone, Xena and Giles will decide together whether and how to continue.

Core Female Led Relationship

Xena is the naturally dominant partner.
We are both happy with this.

 Discover the techniques that got us to this point!
Xena is the naturally dominant partner. We are both happy with this.

We will treat the FLR as real, indivisible, and routine, accepting any inconveniences as inevitable. Giles accepts that he will suffer mental and physical distress. In return, Xena will not reference that this is what he signed up for.

Xena controls all matters domestic and intimate with powers of discipline and reward. She can extend this as she sees fit. However, Giles will share the responsibilities of adult life.

Giles will serve honestly. Xena acknowledges that this high level of personal service is only available to her through the FLR and will try to praise, rather than thank. (Positive statements about having a slave are particularly effective.)

The FLR is a secret. Giles may only discuss it with those friends who already know about his blog, unless otherwise instructed by Xena. Giles will avoid over-sharing with Xena, but may blog about his adventures.


Slave Mode... a semi-mute slave,
attending on her until dismissed.
Dare to try being a part-time slave!
Giles will range from normal but compliant husband through to semi-mute slave when he will call Xena "Mistress”. He will try to anticipate Xena’s mood, however she will also tell him what she wants.

Xena can also trigger two modes:
  • Slave Mode (triggered by any command to silence), when Giles acts as a semi-mute slave, attending on her until dismissed. This mode normally continues until Xena orders him back to normal, or until she falls asleep. However, she can specify a duration of hours or days.
  • Sabbatical Mode, when Giles is subject to more intense management, e.g. during spring cleaning. This typically lasts several days. During this time, Giles's social activities are suspended and Orgasm Days deferred, but penalties still accrue (see below)

Power and Responsibility

Xena will suit herself, with
no obligation to be fair or realistic.
Discover the core of Femdom in your relationship!
Xena will suit herself, with no obligation to be fair or realistic. Sometimes she will do things for Giles's own good. Giles will obey to the best of his ability, using his initiative to provide help and advice as appropriate. In return, Xena will take ownership of the FLR, give clear instruction and administer discipline regularly.

Giles will continue to honestly stick to the chastity rules. Xena will periodically question him about his compliance, typically before punishment.

When he has measurable professional (e.g. word count) or personal objectives (e.g. weight loss), Giles will report these to negotiate targets and penalties.

Xena may set long-term targets or tasks.

In addition to the demerit system, near the start of each month, Xena will hold a brief review, dealing with any issues in Giles's performance, checking up on his chastity, tasks and targets, and rewarding and/or punishing him accordingly. Giles will remind her.

Bedtime Ritual

He will kneel patiently
in the corner..
This could be you!
At bedtime, Giles will be clean, clean-shaven, chaste, and ready for bed. He will kneel patiently in the corner until Xena orders him otherwise, returning there between tasks.

If Xena falls asleep while Giles is kneeling, he may come to bed after a decent interval, unless erotic activity or punishment has taken place, in which case he may change position but must otherwise remain in the corner to sleep, unless it is too cold.

Domestic Matters

Giles will do the... housekeeping.
Find out how to do this for real.
Giles will do the bulk of the housekeeping to as high a standard as possible, consistent with professional commitments.

In particular, Giles will finish those jobs he starts, maintain the bathrooms to a visitor-ready standard and keep the refrigerator etc stocked.

Giles is responsible for maintenance of all sex toys.

Discipline, Punishment and Rewards

Xena may discipline Giles
as she
sees fit.
Wouldn't you like a slice of this?
Xena may discipline Giles as she sees fit, consistent with the spirit of the mistress-slave relationship.

Xena may assign demerits for any reason and later apply one stroke per demerit. The whipping will be merciless; it will hurt and be a genuine deterrent. Giles will usually be restrained for this. There is no safeword. However, Xena will take seriously any safety feedback.

We will both treat the discipline system as real. Xena will administer whippings as regularly as practical. Giles may remind her.

Xena may also grant Slave Points. These do not cancel out demerits. However, Giles may petition to trade these for perks, for example Xena wearing stockings during punishment.

Xena may also:
  • Defer Orgasm Days pending completion of a specific project to her satisfaction. Penalties still accrue during this time. 
  • Institute "lockdown" where Giles maximizes time spent chaste and does not remove the device for his Orgasm Days.

Intimate Matters and Orgasm Control

Giles must wear a chastity device.
Find out how to share my fate!
Giles may not initiate erotic intimacy, but may remind Xena to set aside intimate time.

Xena has control over Giles’s orgasms but will not normally be present when they happen.

Giles must wear a chastity device when on his own and at night. If the chastity device breaks, he will wear the backup in lockdown (see above) to avoid wearing it out, until a replacement is arranged.

Unfortunately, things that sexually excite Giles defer his orgasm by days or weeks (see below). This ensures that the chastity is in sync with the intensity of the erotic relationship. Xena likes this system, but Giles is responsible for managing it.

Giles's Orgasm Days

By default, Giles has an Orgasm Day on Xena's) first working day of the week. This is usually the only time he may masturbate and he is permitted to remove his device for this.

Working days do not include weekends or holidays. With Xena's permission, unused Orgasm Days shift to the next available working day.

Orgasm Days and Penalties

Each of Xena’s orgasms sets back the next Orgasm Day.
Each of Xena’s orgasms sets back Giles's next Orgasm Day. The penalties are in working days per orgasm Mon-Fri penalty in brackets) :
  • She masturbates with him out of the room – 0.5 day (1 day).
  • She masturbates while he kneels or otherwise in the room – 1 day (2 days)
  • She masturbates while he watches with a clear view – 2 days (4 days)
  • He helps to bring her to orgasm – 3 days (6 days)
  • He brings her to orgasm using a strap-on dildo – 4 days (8 days).
  • He brings her to orgasm through PIV - 5 days (10 days).
Other circumstances in which penalties can be earned:
  • If Giles applies emotional pressure in response to Xena's orgasm choices, - 5 days (10 days) plus 40 demerits. This does not preclude him whimpering briefly as an erotic response, for which she can apply demerits.
  • On Xena's whim.
  • As the price of being involved in some erotic act. 

Orgasms with Xena

During erotic time, Giles remains chaste except for the unlikely event of PIV sex. Xena may grant Giles a chaste orgasm as long as she is supervising, i.e. at minimum holding his leash chain. She can curtail his efforts on whim.

The penalties go up in weeks (i.e. 5 days) and are as follows:
  • Solo by self-penetration (if he can do it), no penalty. 
  • Solo by vibrator, 1 week. 
  • Orgasm administered or devised by Xena, 1 - 5 weeks (Giles may hold back). 
  • Spontaneous or unlicensed ejaculation, 5 weeks plus 40 demerits. 
If it amuses her, Xena may set up beatings using butt plugs and other devices to encourage an unlicensed ejaculation. Giles will advise honestly on this.

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  1. Tis is fantastic! Thank you for sharing. You are a lucky!

    1. Thanks! I am fortunate, but we got where we are now by trial and error. Hence my books...


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