Wednesday, 18 June 2014

When is it OK to wear a chastity device outside the home?

I don't usually wear my Holy Trainer 2 24/7, it just doesn't feel right to deliberately set out to see friends with a chastity device locked around my genitals. However, I'm not squeamish about going out and about in my device.

So -- whoops! -- I'm inconsistent.

I think the problem is that my chastity device is both sexy underwear and at the same time a sex toy.

Sexy underwear is a private thing and can often be a private rebellion. We're delighted rather than disturbed to know that the frumpy lady in accounts likes wearing frilly nothings to work, and if a man chooses to wear a good pair of boxers or a jockstrap under his jeans that's his business, not anybody else's, except perhaps his partner... in fact there's nothing freaky about the statement, "I wear sexy underwear for my partner."

So my little black Holy Trainer is just the moral equivalent of  a sexy jockstrap and I can wear it when and where the hell I like.

However, it's also a sex toy.

A male chastity device is not quite the equivalent of -- say -- a woman using Chinese Balls because it doesn't generate erotic physical sensations unless I'm already turned on. However wearing it feels sexual and reminds me of my Female Led Relationship with Xena. We might regard a woman who inserted Chinese Balls and went shopping as daring and erotic, but if she then went into a friend's home for a cup of tea that would be icky. It's also important that other people would regard a chastity device as a sex toy.

So, I end up with an odd code based on a mix of practicality (worst case if caught out) and gut feeling:
  • I absolutely avoid wearing around non-adults or relatives (sex toy).
  • I avoid going into somebody's home while wearing (sex toy).
  • I will socialize while wearing, but only (a) in public spaces, (b) when I can't unlock, (c)  and when I'm not responsible for the event (sexy underwear).

This last one needs further explanation.

I'm uncomfortable with any suggestion that I might be treating other people as players in an erotic scenario. So I won't set up coffee with friends and turn up secretly wearing a chastity device. However, if I'm out shopping and bump into friends then I will go to Starbucks with them. Similarly, if I'm wearing the device for an extended period -- say a weekend -- and Xena wants me to attend her at a social event, then I'll go along too.

Of course, in an ideal world none of this thinking would be necessary. Chastized would be a recognized and legally protected orientation...

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