10 weeks of permanent chastity (and counting) - What IS going on with my wife?

"The weekend came and went and
I didn't unlock you.
DEAL WITH IT!"

"I'm a bit surprised that I'm still chaste," I say, wryly.

We're back from a weekend with relatives and I'm rubbing Xena's feet. It's mid October, and I've been sealed up in my Custom Chastity Saint for more than two months.

My wife looks up from her mobile phone. "Oh?"

"When we started this new arrangement, I suppose I expected you'd unlock me for the visit - you usually do... and that that would provide a natural break?"

I actually flush. I suppose I was looking for a bit of attention - some acknowledgement of my chastity marathon. Instead I catch myself actually pleading.

"Well it didn't," says Xena, sounding grumpy.

"But if you keep me locked for family visits, then there's no natural break until..." I frown. There really isn't one.

"Enough, Giles!" snaps Xena. She puts down her phone. "The weekend came and went and I didn't unlock you. DEAL WITH IT!"

She really does sound angry.

I blush. "Yes, mistress,"

This isn't a kink argument, I realise, this is a relationship argument. And our relationship has changed.

The feeling... it's like, when you were young, did you ever go solo travelling and step off a plane into a foreign country where the air felt new, and everybody was a stranger, and the local laws and customs are different and dangerous?

I'm genuinely scared, but I'm also horribly, horribly turned on. So much some I feel that one word of sexy gloating from her would set me off and I would squirt everywhere...

But the word doesn't come.

My wife reaches for her kindle. "Now get back to rubbing my feet."

And I do.

I'm not sure what I expected from "permanent" chastity, other than a grand adventure. I was too realistic to expect it to turn our sex life into a wall-to-wall porno BDSM romp: Xena's busy at work, there's only so much time and energy. Outside the protocol, we've settled into a sexual pattern of about twice a month - better than some middle aged couples, one hell of a lot kinkier than most.

I suppose I did have the general idea that she would stop to gloat over my plight. And, from time to time, she does. However, she gloats over my plight Right Now, not the length of time locked up, not the possibility of release.

My wife likes to know I'm frustrated, but doesn't want to be reminded that my penis has ever been, or can ever be free.

Naturally, the permanent chastity started as my idea. She'd suggested a long lockup using the timer, I - nervously - asked to live out the fantasy. Supposedly, the main benefit for her was no more lock/unlock decisions: she was glad to escape the responsibility.

At the time I wondered:

Will Xena let me out in October?
One of the things she likes about Femdom and FLR is that she can have her relationship nailed down the way she likes it, and then not have to keep track. Also, she prefers not to make decisions, and she doesn't like a fuss.

Well, obviously, she didn't. 

Then on when I broke my 45-day record for actual lock up:

"Well done for breaking your record... I wonder how long you can go?"
"I thought you were uninterested in setting records."
"I'm not. But I might also become uninterested in letting you out."

Well that's certainly happened.

And also, I took the hint, and agreed to stop reporting time locked. Me being locked became the default state.

So what is going on with her?

First and foremost, this new chastity device has removed all practical limits. Xena just assumes that it's OK to keep me locked. There are no health risks, and no realistic chance of discovery. She's stopped second guessing. Xena says she doesn't introspect around sex, so in a way that's explanation enough: there are no longer any brakes on her whim.

However: what is behind the whim?

At first, it just looked like a delicious mixture of laziness and sadism. She wanted to park me sexually during a busy time at work, she couldn't be bothered with all those lock/unlock decisions anyway. And she likes me being frustrated and impotent to get off.

It's as if me being unlocked would
take something away from who she is.

However, I can't believe she didn't make a positive decision to keep me locked during our weekend with relatives. Up until this moment, she would have been deeply uncomfortable with crossing the streams and having me secretly chaste around her elderly aunts.

Then there's her angry reaction when I seemed to be tiptoeing around the idea that she might release me. "Deal with it!" she said, perfectly aware that there's an "it" to deal with, but also certain that it was a done deal.

And there's this other thing.

In the last few weeks, she's become more comfortably dominant. I don't mean that she's taken to strutting around in thigh highs; rather the total opposite. It's as if the power exchange has become invisible to her, and her being in charge is just natural. I realise now that before, there was always a sense of her switching into "in charge mode". Now she is just in charge.

You could in fact say that her behaviour in the relationship has become more traditionally masculine.

All this makes me think that there's something odd going on to do with gender: my practical lack of a penis seems to have become part of my wife's identity.

It's as if me being unlocked would take something away from who she is.

I'm really no longer sure where this is going. Presumably she can't keep me locked indefinitely...

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How I measured for my Custom Chastity Saint - the one I've been wearing for over 70 days 24/7

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Day 40 of permanent chastity (45 days locked)

 I might also become uninterested in letting you out.

So I hit day 40 sealed in, 45 locked.

There's not much to report. It feels same as it did in the first week and after the third week - no chafing, no impending issues.

The swept back head section has passed the test of time: it really does eliminate turtling. So I have reason to be proud of my little innovation! It makes the device just that bit more practical - no poking around when I need to pee - and aesthetically pleasing - it always looks like a second skin, not a shell in which the penis can hide.

This is a busy couple of months for Xena - one of the reasons for this adventure - so I have no Femdom pyrotechnics to report. Knowing how much locked as default pushes her buttons, I have high expectations for when there's time and energy.

The effect on our relationship has been subtle.

A Truly Fire and Forget Male Chastity Device? 21 days in a sinister custom Custom Chastity Saint male chastity device...

I'm currently locked in a custom Saint device from Custom Chastity.
I passed Day 21 earlier this week and I'm still locked - well sealed, as of two plus weeks ago. I've also worn it almost 24/7 since Lady Fox sent it to me for testing more than a month ago.

My verdict is that this chastity device is so fire and forget as to make it sinister as heck.

The security is as good as any other ball gripper. I can in theory get my dick out, but masturbating would chafe the skin and leave me to puffy to get back in. Getting off wearing the device would be uncomfortable and cause different issues. Pawing at all the exposed skin would mostly just irritate it. Also, I can't lie to Xena. She'd know.

As for the rest, it's remarkable in that there's not much to remark on.

Day 10 in the custom Custom Chastity Saint, Day 5 of permanent chastity

Ten days in this custom nylon chastity device and not much to report. There's no build up of dead skin under the shaft, no visible signs of mild chafing - no red patches - and no odd smells. Everything dries easily, though a quick blast of the hairdryer speeds that up. Apart from not being able to get erect of have an orgasm, it's pretty much like having naked genitals.

Five days of permanent chastity...  that still takes some getting used to. I keep noticing dead decision points, and sometimes I'm aware of my situation and get horribly turned on all on my own. The relationship effects aren't yet clear...

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Day 1 of (?) Permanent Chastity

Woke, saw Xena off to work, worked, cleaned, exercised, worked some more, cooked dinner, ate with Xena, cleaned up, jogged, showered, rubbed Xena's feet while she read, went to sleep...

All very normal.

But different.

For a start, no emergency key.

I don't really think I need one for actual emergencies - if I'm lying in an ambulance, rooting around with a key in my underpants will be just as excruciatingly embarrassing as  asking them to bring out the shears to cut the nylon. Also, with no metal parts, the device isn't going to get in the way of  a scan.

However, the emergency key did mean I always had the theoretical possibility of wimping out and unlocking for any given activity, for example for a spontaneous pint with the lads. Turns out I was making all sorts of background decisions I'm only now aware of because when I hit the decision point, it's no longer there. That gives me a panicky feeling I had not expected.

The other thing is, no chance of suddenly being unlocked.

Up until now, there's always been a key around, either in Xena's drawer, or, if that one is in the time safe, the security sealed emergency key in my my wallet. Though the latter is supposed to be a last resort, there's always been the possibility that Xena might suddenly want me out for sex - we had actual sex twice on vacation! - or that she might just decide I should have an orgasm the next day.

Knowing that can't happen is... odd.

---

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GET THE "FOR HER" MANUAL RIGHT NOW!

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(For ebook format, 

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My wife just sealed me in permanent chastity!

"That sounds great. Do it."

"Can I talk to you about next month?"

It's Sunday night and I'm folding Xena's clothes away while she lounges in bed with a book.

"What about it?"

"You're away at conferences a lot, and you'll be trying to clear your desk before you go, then catch up when you return. I wanted to talk about how to make it work for me."

"I'll fit things in as best I can," she says. She means beatings and occasional orgasms for her.

"That's great," I say, not entirely believing her. "But discipline is already a bit irregular."

"You've not been pulling your weight," she said, "you've been forgetting things."

"That's your fault," I say.

"I just can't be bothered chasing you up."

My shoulders sink. "I hate it when you drift off and withdraw!"

"Well you're getting four demerits for forgetting to compost the flowers," she says. There's a sudden glint in her eyes.

"It's more than discipline..," I say. "I need..."

A few weeks back, while on vacation, we had a talk. Oddly we had had actual penis-in-vagina sex twice. After a run down the beach we discussed, for the first time in years, my needs, how I get anxious if I don't feel "owned", and how she can get the best out of me by making me feel owned.

I recite, "To be Controlled, Affirmed, Scared and Exploited." (Yes, there's an acronym there, but I don't make a fuss about it. It does help me remember.)

Don't read that as a trade: good husbanding for kink. I'm very much telling her how to get things she wants, and those things go far beyond what she could expect even from a stay home husband. And she likes... loves being in charge.

"Hmm," she says and goes back to her book.

I finish the clothes, take a shower and towel myself off while we chat. I'm naked except for my customised Custom Chastity Saint. "The new device is going great," I remark. "Five days in and not even any dry skin or red patches. Fire and forget."

Friendly Polymorph Plastic

"Right," she says, sitting up in bed. "I think we should lock you up for a very long time. Six weeks perhaps..."

My cock inflates like an airbag. I start shaking. There's something on my bucket list, something I've already prepped for. But it has to be something she does to me.

"That would certainly count as Controlled and Scared,"  I say.

"At least until we take a holiday in October," she continues. She glances in the direction of my bedside table where the time lock safe normally keeps my key. "Check the calendar and..."

"How about just using the friendly plastic seal?" I blurt.

"How would that work?"

"Plastic that melts in very hot water," I say. "I take out the locker and push the stuff in. Once it's set, I'd need an hour with a hairdryer or a long hot bath* to get free. I'd basically be stuck until you remembered to free me."

*UPDATE It turns out the long hot bath doesn't work! 

Escape will require careful use of a hairdryer.

"What about if you needed to get out?"

"I've thought about it," I say. "Any circumstances in which I needed an emergency key would already be excruciatingly embarrassing.  And in a medical emergency, they could always cut it off - it's only surgical nylon."

"OK," she says, "That sounds great. Do it."

I'm not surprised. My wife loves having me in chastity, hates having to engage with the fuss of deciding lockups and setting timers. I've basically offered her locked by default. This suits her down to the ground. I have a horrible feeling that only qualms about the practicality have held her back from doing this.

That black blob is the overflow
of the plastic seal.

Still shaking, I go to the kitchen to get a cup of hot water. I've already prepped a rod of just the right size. I let it soak until it's pliable, remove the magic locker from my device and replace it with the plastic.

Which hardens.

As does my cock.

Voila! I'm sealed in. Permanent - or at least open ended - chastity.

I return to the bedroom. "It's set, mistress," I say.

"Excellent," she says. She glances at me, amused, satisfied.

Here's what she sees behind the cut (i.e. cock in chastity picture):