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| If he's wearing a chastity belt, then it's still Femdom! |
He and his wife have an ongoing chastity "game" - she decides when he gets to come and sometimes enjoys teasing and denying him. However - as far as I can gather - that's it. No whips and chains, no domestic service, not really any cringing either. He's not even in a chastity belt! Yes, the chastity - as he reports it, and I tend to believe him - works entirely on the honour system.
That's a lesson it's worth holding in the mind. You don't have to get your Femdom off the shelf, there's no one size fits all.
In fact, your fantasies are probably less important than the power exchange - the raw Femdom.
Don't believe me? Rewind a little.
Before you had relationships, and before you settled down, you probably had all sorts of ideas about the kind of relationship you would have.
And then, when you you fell in love for real, did much of that come true? I'll bet, not.
It takes both parties to build a relationship. The end result is bound to be different from the preconceptions each party brought with them. Some old ideas just don't fit, and some new ideas turn out to hit the spot.
The same goes for a Femdom slave-mistress relationship.
If she's being a dominatrix for her own pleasure, and not just "service topping", then her preferences just aren't going to be a perfect counterpart for yours, not least because some kinks require far more in effort than she could possibly get out in pleasure.
Even if you feed in ideas... even if she treats your kinks as a kind of menu and adds none of her own... the end result is going to be hers, not yours.
If you've read my book on how to turn your wife or girlfriend into a dominatrix, then you'll know that I don't think that's a bad thing.
There's a deliciously dark terror in submitting, really submitting, in letting go and becoming a real slave, albeit for an evening or a weekend.
There are whips and chains Giles, but not every day. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Giles,
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear your new book is on the way to completion. Because you asked for suggestions I'd submit (no pun) that you have a section (or perhaps the Forward) written by a dominant female who has been through this transformation which you are presenting. This, I think would give a female perspective which may appeal to your female audience.
Just a suggestion, good luck with the new book.
George