Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Making his chastity fantasy work for you - PART 1: WTF?

OK, so he wants you to "force" (ha ha) him to wear a chastity device, and probably to tease and deny him.


Male chastity fantasies and fetishes - sorry, they're just weird; and I should know, I have one. When in kink mode, I am happiest when locked into a chastity belt for the duration of the action, and overnight if possible.

If you're a natural "service top", one of those wonderful women who likes to facilitate her man's fantasies, then you probably don't need to read on. Just listen to him and work out how to make it true. There's also a lot of good femdom advice over on Mistress Ivey's blog.

However, most women - most people - are not service tops, or can't keep it up for more than an evening, and I bet he wants this for several evenings in a row, and possibly in between. It's starting to look less like a kinky game and more like a lot of hard work for you.

Before we go any further, remember, you have a right to say no, to tell him to put the stupid toy away except for the odd session when you are feeling generous.

However, if you are at least willing to consider the idea, because you love him, or because it might be an adventure, or because you're feeling generous, then this series of blog posts may help.

I'm not going to waste time on understanding his fantasy. It's enough to know that it probably...
  • Pushes some well established buttons - thanks to frequent masturbation, men's fantasies wander around all over the shop, then lodge in odd places where they become more intense through repetition.
  • Originally worked around some now defunct issues - perhaps he felt ambivalent about sex, once upon a time, or perhaps he used to have performance anxiety... he's over this now, but the fantasies he developed to get around these fears remain.
  • Gives him amazing highs - men don't get much of a plateau phase before they tumkble off the orgasm and into ejaculation; chastity is all about plateau.
  • Has an romantic component - he wants his chastity to be a gift (even if it's actually an anoyance)
  • Isn't a physical rejection of you - it's more a desire to return to the adolescant experience of obsession and lust (delayed gratification does that to a man)
All very interesting, perhaps, but not very useful.

I'm also not going to words on trying to get you to be turned on by his fantasy. Sure there are erotic activities around his chastity that might push your buttons, but the device and the fantasy wrapped around it - they belong to him.

Moresover, Male Chastity is designed keep him sexually aroused an awful lot of the time. The idea is for him to wallow in a bath of eroticism... to return to the experience of teenage. Unless you are using some other device, you're just not going to feel that way all the time. But then men think about sex more than women anyway, so let's just not go there.

Instead, I'm going to work through the several kinds of male chastity and show you how to make them worth the trouble.

As always, the motto is:
Male chastity should offer you something you couldn't or shouldn't get through a normal relationship.

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