Friday, 28 March 2014

Naming help, anybody? (Better terms for the PIRI modes)

The main criticism of my Vanilla Dominatrix book boils down to it requiring you to be a bit geeky or intellectual to get the central idea, the PIRI Modes:

  • Interact: Talking, playing, making love. Interacting with the people around her. 
  • Project: Bossing, managing, creating, expressing, discoursing, lecturing, playing music. Giving a blow job. Projecting herself on the people around her. 
  • Resonate: Listening, basking in adulation, watching, absorbing. Receiving cunnilingus. Resonating to the people around her. 
  • Ignore: Getting on with things in her own space. Masturbating. Ignoring the people around her. 

These modes are really helpful in making sense of what kinky activities your vanilla partner might enjoy:

...especially if you look at energy levels:
So, for example, in this diagram both Extrovert and Introvert start off in Interact, then take different routes to Ignore.

I think the biggest issue is that the names are not intuitive enough, and thus hard to remember. My problem is that the names need to make equal sense in non sexual, vanilla sexual and kinky situations!

Possible schemes include:

Jazz Era:


Fairy Tale:

Modern archetypes:

Connected Mode
 Diva Mode
Goddess Mode
 Me Time Mode

None of these schemes are perfect! Suggestions welcome...

Why not introduce some Female Centered Femdom to your relationship?


  1. I like the vanilla approach of your book, great concept!
    Just finished reading you book and must admit that I can't get the PIRI matrix to work. Not for myself and even less for my wife. What would be helpful would be some questionnaire or quiz, just like those simple 20-30 question MBTI, Leary's rose etc... personality tests. I know these tests are do not result in a trustworthy profile. But their main benefit is that they are at least a starting point for further exploration.
    I don't think your PIRI matrix is worthless, but just from how it is presented in the book makes it difficult for me to draw someone's profile. I think the problem is not the names, although it is nice to have some synonyms, but more how to get the matrix right.

    1. Thanks for your very thoughtful response. I think the insight embodied by the PIRI table is important, but I obviously need to find a better way to present it!

      There are three variables. Maybe I can look at them from a different angle...

      Or perhaps you're right about the questions. Keep any eye on this blog; I'll post an experimental quiz.

    2. Ping! Have done a redraft! Please take a look.

  2. Top Sadist Goddess and Ice Queen are the easiest to understand for me, but not entirely vanilla. My wife for one, can be quite the Ice Queen when she wants, but I don't think she'd like to hear what she does be called by that name.

    Sadly, being kind of a geek myself, I can't think of non-geeky descriptors. Bah, who am I kidding? I'm a complete, certified geek.


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