How to avoid exploitative relationships if you are a sexual submissive

I think you have to treat submissiveness as an orientation and handle it accordingly.

For subs,  50% of the sex is mental and that means we easily confuse dynamic and kinky feelings with relationship. Yes, the dynamic can reflect the relationship, but it doesn't need to any more than good vanilla sex needs to reflect our lover's feelings for us.

Also, thanks to isolation because we're not mainstream, we tend to imagine that our D-type is the only one in the universe who can push our buttons that way, forgetting that these are our buttons that we carry around with us. It's no more logical than being vanilla and assuming nobody else's genitals will fit ours the way our lover's does.

So find the relationship you deserve and you'll enjoy the same kinky feelings. Just be clear about which feelings are the purely kinky ones.